Studio 8h - John Mulaney FanFic

John - Tonny

"I'm warning you. It might be crazy in there." She puts the car in park.

After a 30 minute drive from New Orleans, (as I was recently correct, New Orlēns) we land in the small town. Passing swamps and large trees, we reach the overgrown one story blue house.

We she gets out of the car and we both walk up to the front door, she knocks once and the door opens almost instantly. "Ah! She's here!"

"I'm here!"

The woman pulls her in, she looks older, like 50's, but short and round. "My god! Let me look atcha!" She puts her hands on Peytons cheeks, "How much have you been eatin' up there. And what is that? A t-shirt. That won't make your boobs pop. We're still on the husband search."

"Hi Auntie." She says under her breath. I lightly laugh, that's when she spots me.

"Who's this?" She says her body facing Peyton, but her eyes staring me down.

"My boyfriend, Auntie." She tries to stop herself from laughing.

"Do you have a name?"

"Oh-uh. John."

"John what?"

"J-John Mulaney."

"Where are you from, talkin' like that?"

"Chicago."

"Midwest?"

"Yes ma'am." Through our back and forth I've become sort of scared of her.

She grabs my chin, from such a low height. Pulling my face down and from side to side, "Well, at least he's jewish." She lets go of my face and walks away.

"Auntie, he isn't Jewish." She says almost shamefully.

Her jaw drops as she turns around, "Your father is on his death bed, and you brought a boy from Chicago home. And he isn't even jewish. Next you're gonna tell me he's a Catholic."

I open my mouth, but Peyton shuts me up quickly. "Uh- Where's everybody else?"

"Your brother should be here any minute. And Jody and Mac are at the Sugar Plant. Ya'll want something to drink before they all get here?"

"Oh, Auntie I don't know..." Peyton tries to decline, obviously it doesn't work. With in 3 minutes we're sitting at the dining room table with 3 cups of hot coffee. Which I don't understand for how hot it is right now.

"Oh, uh. Auntie. I have a question. I dunno if Wyatt would wanna be here but. Did you know my mama?"
The level of accent coming out of her makes me want to burst out laughing, but I know I can't.

"Oh, sure. She was quite mostly. Kept to herself. Always doin' somein' on that guitar of hers. She was catholic, I 'member that. She hated bein' pregnant, man. Let me tell you. That was the most words I've heard her say. 'Couldn't play the guitar...'" She mocks. "I know I shouldn't be talking bad about your mama, but, she ain't really your mama."

"Was she weird?"

Auntie takes a sip of her coffee, "Oh, she never fit in this town. It wasn't made for her. She was from Texas. And then she told your Daddy to tell you she died. How can a woman that wants to tell her children she's dead live with her self. And then she had the nerve to show up here."

"If she was from Texas then how did her mom get out here?"

"Oh, she brought her with her. She was always sickly, as long as I knew her. After she left your Daddy took care of her. I never understood how good of a man your daddy could be, after everything. He worked so hard to get you where you needed to be."

Just then the door knocks. Auntie stands up and waddles to the door. We hear her screams from the front as Peyton wipes away a tear and stands up.

"Hey, Hey." I stop her, "I'm sorry." I whisper kissing her head.

"I feel like I'm gonna get to the hospital, and then I can't walk in. I mean, he's in there. And what if he doesn't come out."

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Ok?" She nods, wiping more tears. She takes a deep breath and puts on a smile. She walks out of the kitchen and opens her arms for the laughing children.

"Oh my goodness! Get your butts over here!" They run into her legs, giving her a hug.

I walk behind her into the room. She walks to a man and a woman greeting Auntie. "Hey Aunt Pey." The man laughs.

"Hey, how were they?"

The woman gives her a hug, "Oh my god. They only talked of you. At some point I wanted to see their mouths shut." She laughs.

"You're accent sounds so..." The man starts.

"Northern! Right! So does yours." Peyton laughs.

"What has success done to us?"

"Who knows."

"Oh!" She pulls me over to the three of them, Auntie playing with the two boys. "This is John. John, My brother Wyatt, and my sister-in-law Marissa."

"Hi," Wyatt shakes my hand behind Peytons back. "Hi," I respond.

"Solid handshake. Way to make an impression on the older brother."

Auntie stands up, "Imma take these kids on the Gator to the sugar farm. Wyatt and Peyton, you should go see your father alone while he's in good spirits. You two can just stay here and drink whatever." She waves her hand and heads out the door.

"Ya'll be ok here?" Peyton asks us both. "Will you be ok?" She whispers to me.

I laugh and whisper back, "I'll be fine. I'll make friends with the in-law." She laughs.

"Tonny (said Tōnny) let's go!" Wyatt opens the door. She kisses my cheek and runs out the door. I hear her tell her on the way out the door, "You look stupid in a t-shirt."

"Excuse me, I look comfortable." The door shuts.

Marissa sighs, "Where are you from?"

"Chicago."

She nods, "Ah."

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'm from here. I grew up with Wyatt and Tonny."

"Does everyone call her that?" I laugh.

"Ooooh yeah. She didn't tell you?"