Your Royal Highness

Chapter Twenty

= Blake =

Shit shit shit

What the fuck?

Did I seriously just dry hump with Camilla? We were just talking and then we kissed and then-

"Fuck!" I cursed.

I was up in my room and paced back and forth once I slammed my door shut. I tossed the towel she gave me on my bed and then tore off my clothes and threw them onto the floor. I have to take a shower.

{Read this scene in Forbidden Secrets on my profile!}

Once I came out of the shower, I began to feel guilt. No matter how much I hate to admit it, I really enjoyed being with Camilla. I shouldn't have led her on all this time, and I really shouldn't have kept this going for so long. I haven't even seen Vivian for about two weeks. It's almost been four months since my marriage with Camilla, and I haven't really seen Lo her this whole time. Sure, we talked here and there, but it was only in front of my parents. But once I got to know her some more, I felt like I wanted to know more. And it's not because of my dick. I really and genuinely want to get to know Camilla. And I haven't put in any effort whatsoever to talk with her.

I can't keep going like this. I have to do something and decide right now. It's either stay with Vivian, or to try with Camilla. And I have to choose quickly or else I would break too many hearts. And I can't do that to them because it's unfair.

Because... I don't truly know what love is.

Vivian and I have been together for a little over three years. She was a cheerleader while I was the team captain of the football team. We got together after we won the state championships. I remember how she came up to me, grabbed my face, and kissed me. Yeah, she took my first kiss. And she also took my virginity that night as well at the celebratory party. I remember how she first blew me, and I had no fucking clue how it all worked, so I pretty much let her do most of it. After we had sex that night, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I didn't really know her at the time besides how she was the lead cheerleader and that she was the prettiest girl on campus, but I thought that getting to know her a bit and our statuses had matched up. I know, that was a dick move, but it felt right at the time.

Now, I'm 21 years old and I'm about to take over the kingdom and place as CEO of the Jade Company. I really should be doing many things right now.

And right now, I felt like I really want to try. I want to live comfortably and smoothly. And even though i feel how unfair it has been, I don't think I truly love... Vivian. I mean, I do like her. But I don't think it's the love-love that people would feel to a significant person.

I ran my hand into my hair as I looked at my phone. I can't keep going like this. I'll just only hurt everyone. I have to stop leading her on and leave.

I groaned with guilt. I'm afraid I have to say goodbye to my dick.

~*~

"Vivian?" I knocked.

I have been knocking on her door a few times now and she still hasn't opened the door. I called her twice but she didn't pick up. Maybe she wasn't home? Meh, I'll just wait for her in her couch. She did give me her key ever since we started dating after all.

I pushed the key into the lock and went in. Two pairs of shoes were carelessly scattered across the entryway, then her black coat lie on the floor after that.

What the fuck?

I looked around some more. Something didn't feel right.

"Vivian?"