my brothers best friend.
that's what you've always been.
you showed up in my living room one day and that was it.
but apparently i was 'off limits'
but you didn't listen, and we hid us, we hid the love we shared, the touches we shared, everything...
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🄰🄻🄻🄸🅂🄾🄽
falling | chapter fifty-two
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One thing that you'll never see is a rose without a thorn.
We may all try out very best to hold a certain sense of stability, or something close to the definition of perfection in our lives, but- in the end, we all manage to flake little by little until nothing is left to find.
A smile can hide so very much.
That person you have given the name as "the happy one", or "positivity is all she has." can shelter so much hurt. Sooner or later, you will come to see how much she needed a simple hug, or a small gesture like one reassuring her, "you're valid."
What my mind has managed to come against in the past couple days is something I can't even put into words.
It is simply a feeling where- I feel as if I will never find that flicker of hope I'm desperately searching for. That reason to stay together in one piece every day.
I found my silhouette set on the corner of the creme colored bed, staring into the dark beige of the wall as if it was an action movie or soemthing. When in reality, I was slowly falling deeper and deeper into a never ending rumble of my thoughts. I began to feel as if in every direction, words of hate and such were constantly clashing against the sides of my bruised temples, my eyes constantly wincing shut in defeat.
A battle with your own thoughts seemed to be much more painful than any bloody battle in my mind.
I slowly felt as if my fragile self was placed inside of a glass box, almost as if I was displayed as an object to every soul, smiling faces towering over myself as a frown of self disgust stayed plastered across my own with some kind of almost like super glue barrier.
The walls felt as if they were diminishing piece by piece around me, slowly peeling off the poster of a fake smile that hid so very many tears.
My paper like arms constantly tried to reach out for anyone, any sense of stability to be found but all that's seen is a helpless girl reaching into thin air.
A strange feeling like I was standing out in a crowd, but no one can hear her broken sobs, begging for any sense of help, shelter.
Alone. Alone is all I felt as I leisurely fell into a never ending hole of self hatred, and a scarce amount of self respect.
