10 Feet Down (Original Version)

Chapter 31

Songs:
Into The Fire - Thirteen Senses
Broken - Seether
Undone - Haley Reinhart
...

Is it medically possible to die from a broken heart? Has anyone's cause of death been ruled from a broken heart? Can your heart explode? And if it can explode, does it splinter off inside of you? Piercing all of your vital organs, making your whole body shut down and become lifeless. What happens when your heart feels so broken beyond repair that you don't think you will ever be able to pick up all the pieces to tape it back together again? I wish I could put a bandaid over the wound, but the hole is so much bigger. It's not just in my heart, it's in my whole body, my soul. Can you fix a broken will or a broken life? What is left once you are so shattered and left on the floor to be swept away into the garbage?

We always saw in movies and tv shows where the main characters' romance diffuses and they break up. They have an ugly breakup, saying mean, hurtful things to each other and then go their separate ways. They are shown crying and sobbing, with their friends comforting them, but they are so broken-hearted. They say that they feel like dying and that they don't know how they will be able to live without the other—all of the clichés. We think that real life is not always like that, the dramatic sobbing and deep regret, but we would be wrong. We make jokes about how tv isn't real life, but sometimes it can be. Times like now, I wish I had watched more tv to know how long this heartbreak lasts for.

"Eva," Sam whispers, gently rubbing my shoulder. "We're going to be late. You need to get up."

I slowly open my eyes to our dark dorm room that's illuminated by Sam's desk lamp in the corner. I look at Sam, who's already dressed and ready for the day, and sigh heavily.

"Come on," She whispers and I turn on my back, staring at the ceiling.

I rub my eyes that are tired from continuously crying this weekend. I don't even move to see what time it is. If it wasn't for Sam waking me up, I would try to sleep this whole day away and forget about my responsibilities. I spent most of this long weekend laying in my bed, covered in my fuzzy blankets and staring at the wall with tears staining my pillow. We had Monday and Tuesday off for our holiday break. But the days had blurred together and I'd forget what day it was. I forced myself to sleep a lot so I wouldn't have to think about anything that happened and how I felt about it. I completely shut down and I barely spoke to anyone, not even to Sam or Reina. How can I speak when I have no words? I have no words to describe how I am feeling. I can't talk without wanting to cry, so I stay silent, pushing my emotions and thoughts away so I am completely numb to my surroundings.

I force myself to sit up and get out of the comfort and warmth from my bed. I don't bother checking the time, I just make my way around the room and get ready for class. I put on leggings, a burnt orange turtleneck sweater, and my trusty converse that have seen better days. I look in the mirror and see that I have dark circles underneath my eyes. No matter how much sleep I get, I still wake up feeling exhausted. As I'm putting my hair up in a high messy bun, I look at Sam through the mirror. She gets her backpack together quietly and once she's done, she sits down on her bed. She glances over at me and we both stare at each other for a moment. Her eyes are sad, but the corners of her mouth turn up a little bit. She's tries to smile, but stops, unable to even fake a smile. I turn around from the mirror and face her.