"He's my fire and I'm his gasoline. We're just meant to be together."
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Highest rankings:
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#19 romance
Originally completed 1.31.21.
CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN
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Rehab -Rihanna I Got So High That I Saw Jesus - Noah Cyrus Gone- Bebe Rhexa -
February 14, 2017
I don't understand Valentine's Day. The holiday of love seems like a shitty reason to do something special for your significant other. Valentine's Day is just a Hallmark holiday used to sell cards and gifts to make people feel like they're important. You should be doing nice things for your partner every day, not just for one day a year. You should always make the person you love feel special, not only one time when society says you're supposed to.
Love shouldn't be an obligation. The large flower displays and the red and pink heart chocolate boxes at every store scream desperation. When I saw them in the grocery store weeks before February, I couldn't help but sigh and be filled with dread that the "holiday" is coming around the corner. I just wanted to do my grocery shopping in peace, but I had to look at the red and pink colors the whole time because they were displayed over the damn store. I wanted to vomit all over the frilly decadent boxes of chocolate by the check out registers. It's like they're trying to make you feel guilty.
Even the hopeless, cliché romantic inside me doesn't like the holiday of love. Love shouldn't be reserved for one day of the year. It's special when you find that one person who completes you, so your love should be celebrated all 365 days.
True love doesn't come around every day and when it does, it's the most infinite feeling you want to hold on to. You want to hold it so tight to your chest and never let it go.
I don't think I ever saw Jonathan and Sylvia celebrate February 14th. If they did, I was too young to remember. Johnathan would bring Sylvia flowers on her birthday, but I can't remember any other time where they showed an ounce of love for each other. Their marriage seemed so platonic. They rarely kissed in front of me and I hardly saw them hold hands, even at home. It was rare to see them act affectionate towards each other. Maybe that's why I read so many romance novels. I was trying to understand the concept of love because I didn't have a real example of it in front of me.
I never knew what it truly felt like to love and receive love from another person. I was completely clueless. I was very naive to think that true love would be like the romance novels I ate up with my eyes. I hoped that fiction would be close to reality, but it wasn't even close. What a hard lesson I was forced to learn.
It's why I'm single.
I fucked up when it came to love, but it wasn't only me to blame. Love fucked me over too. It was ruthless, destroying everything good in my life. Maybe it did me a favor. If things were really good, then they wouldn't have been easily destroyed in the first place, right? Love tore my heart to shreds and I have been spending time trying to piece myself back together.
So much happened in the span of almost 6 months. It truly amazes me how fast life changes direction. I always thought I would be on a straight, narrow path towards my future. But I ended up taking a wrong turn. I got lost in the winding paths and forks in the roads. I made wrong decisions and ended up on a side road, taking the longer route but slowly working to getting back onto the right path. I'm walking without a gps, moving forward in what I feel is the right way to go. I keep my eyes to the skyline, desperately wanting to get to my destination, but not forcing myself to rush. I'm going at my own pace now.
