The sadness in his eyes (Saiouma)

4

Kokichi P.O.V
I walked back in the living-room with my hands behind my head and faking my smile. It fucking hurt to fake a smile. When I looked beside me Saihara and detective #2 where there. Saihara-Chan took a glance at my eyes, which surprised me. Shumai never likes looking into aaaaanyooooones eyes.
  "S-so, Kokichi since yo-you don't have any food. What are we going to do for dinner?" Saihara-Chan asked.
  "Hmmm. I dunno. You decide!" I say, as I jump up and down, exaggerating my excitement. Saihara looked down at detective #2.
  "Wha-what should it be, Ace?" Shumai asked his son. I thought it would take them a while to decide so I let my mind wonder..
Are you really planning on eating food?
Remember what Father would do to you when you ate food?
He would get very angry.

The voices told me, They were correct. My.. 'should I even call him a dad?' I thought, 'it's not like I'm gonna get in trouble for calling him names inside my head..'
But what if he somehow finds out?
'He won't. DrunkFucker won't find out. Plus he's dead I'm not in danger anymore. He won't hurt me anymore' I think but I never really don't feel safe. I always feel like he's hiding somewhere... Am I really safe? Then I snapped out of my thoughts, literally. Saihara-Chan was snapping to get my attention.
  "What is it Shumai? I was thinking you know and you should never interrupt a Supreme Leaders thinking! Nishishi~" I said.
  "S-Sorry Ouma-kun.. But we decided on w-what should be for dinner." Saihara replied. I looked at Ace, Ace did the same and looked at me.
  "Can we have pasta?" Ace asks.
  "How about something microwaveable? I'm toooooo lazzzzzzyyy to cook something." I say, stretching the o's in too and z's in lazy.
  "Microwaveable pasta?" Ace suggests.
  "Nope~ I'm tired of eating microwaveable pasta." I reply, bringing my hand up a little and looking at it as if it was more interesting than anything else in the room.
"Well can me and Ace got eat somewhere?" Shumai asks, looking up from the ground a little.
"You're suggesting to leave me all alone? Saihara that's so mean!" I yell and started faking my tears and almost immediately stopped, "oh well I really don't care anyways you guys can go."

_

I was alone, listening to the clock tick as I waited for Saihara and Ace to get back. I felt a little lonely as the clock kept ticking telling me that time was going slow. The tears started to run down my face. 'I fucking hate feeling lonely' I thought.

Remember what your Mom said to you shall I remind you?
"YOU'RE ALONE KOKICHI OUMA AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE"

The voice said in my moms voice with the same amount of anger and hatred in her voice when she had said that to me. I already knew I would be alone. But when I met Saihara I thought... maybe I wouldn't be alone. I was so fucking dumb to think that maybe I wouldn't be alone. I really wish D.I.C.E was still alive. I miss them all.

Wasn't it my fault they died?

I started sobbing harder. They promised me! That we wouldn't let anything happen to our group. I checked my phone to see what day it way. Tomorrow was the day that D.I.C.E died.

Tomorrow I would have to visit their graves.

Will I be able to hide behind my mask?

The end of chapter 4