Swear Jars and Babies (Book Four)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

You know I'm terrible at keeping track of sleep

It always seems to sneak away

Along with wolves like you

Dressed as counting sheep

The rest of March passed by slowly, almost at agonizingly slow pace. When it finally reached April, I couldn't feel more relieved. March was a rough month...

April was better.

Much better.

But things still weren't perfect. While I had finally passed off as healthy to the doctors, the twins were still in NCIU. They were getting better though, and that was as reassuring as anything. Jemma was getting healthier with every passing day, she was nearly to the appropriate weight to come home the last time we had visited.... while Jonah was still touch and go. So far they had taken him off the machine that helped his breathing twice, but both times he relapsed within an hour...

Niall and I tried to visit as often as we could, almost everyday it seemed... but with a three year old it wasn't very easy. It wasn't fair for us to ask Liam and Zayn to watch him everyday, we had already ruined their wedding...

Our last visit was nearly a week ago, and to be honest I felt terrible about it.

Which is why when we woke up this morning, I asked Niall if we could go.

He of course agreed, which didn't surprise me.

But at the same time I had expected him to say no... it was our anniversary after all.

So that's how I found myself sitting in the outside waiting room with A.J. on my lap... On Niall and I's sixth wedding anniversary. A.J. was playing with his stuffed elephant contently, completely oblivious to what was behind the doors. I could see through the window that looked into the twins room, Niall was talking to Sarah but I couldn't tell if she was telling him good news or bad.

His face was completely emotionless, something that had recently showed up again. Niall wasn't doing good, he was starting to fall back into old habits.

He hadn't done anything rash yet, but he was more closed off... And that was scaring me.

Not that I had voiced those concerns with him.

He would only get angry.

And that would only make things worse.

I didn't want to make things worse.

"Daddy? Why we here?" A.J. finally grew bored of playing with the elephant, a dramatic sigh escaping him as he looked up at me. The top of his head rested on my chest, his blue eyes filled with annoyance as he looked at me. I smiled softly as I moved the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes away.

"For your brother and sister A.J." I said, stealing a quick glance at the window. Niall was still talking to Sarah.

"Why?"

"Cause they were very sick squirt."

"Why?" I sighed, reminding myself that he wasn't trying to be annoying. He was simply curious, and he had a right to be. Niall and I had decided against telling A.J. the extent of the twins conditions due to the fact he wouldn't quite understand. A.J. thought bandaids fixed everything, and sometimes I wish that was the case.

Sadly it's not.

"Remember when you broke your arm?" I asked him, earning a small nod from the three year old. A.J. had just recently gotten his cast off, but unlike most kids he wasn't very happy about it. He threw a fit about the fact that Oliver wouldn't be able to draw on his arm anymore.

I couldn't decide if that was cute or not.

"Well when you broke your arm, Mummy had your siblings early. They were supposed to come in May, but instead they came in March. They were very sick when they came, so they have to stay in the hospital until they're better, just like how you had to." A.J. turned around on my lap so that he was face to face with me now. He played with the ears of his elephant, his eyes still filled with curiosity as he looked at me.

"I come home. Siblings come home now?"

"I don't know squirt... that's what your mummy is finding out I think." I whispered, looking back to the window only to see Niall looking over at the incubators.

"They should. Mummy be happy if siblings come home."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Mummy sad. I know. I know cause Mummy does not smile like Mummy always does. So Mummy sad. I no want that." A.J. started to shake his head excessively, his eyes wide as he did that. I simply just looked at him, not really knowing what to say.

The kid was smart.

And he sure as hell didn't get it from me.

"I don't want that either squirt." I whispered, kissing the top of his head as Niall finally looked over to us. His face was still emotionless, and honestly it was a little unsettling.

It left me worried...

He came out after a minute or two more, but he stood by the door as he looked at A.J. and I.

"So?" I asked, biting my bottom lip as I looked at Niall expectantly. Niall looked at me with tear filled eyes before biting his own lip.

"We get to take Jemma home." He whispered, bursting into tears.

It took a minute for what he said to really actually register in my head...

But when it did, I too started to cry.

------------------------------------

Well... one of the twins gets to go home.

Yay?

This would've been up earlier but I decided to dye my hair haha.

I also slammed my hand in a car door yesterday and it was hurting pretty bad this afternoon.

It's all bruised lol.

Nothing's broken though, thank god.

But yeah.

I'm gonna be doing a character ask, the thingy will be posted probably tomorrow night haha.

Love you guys.

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Connie xx