Swear Jars and Babies (Book Four)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Remember when we couldn't take the heat

I walked out and said, "I'm settin' you free,"

But the monsters turned out to be just trees

Niall didn't say a thing on our way home. I would've thought he would be happy that we would be able to take Jemma home... but he didn't even smile. He sat in the passenger seat, his gaze out the window instead of in the backseat where A.J. kept asking him questions.

He wouldn't answer a single one.

And that made me angry.

So when we arrived home, I helped A.J. out of the car before walking into the house. Niall wasn't too far behind. I put A.J. on the ground in the living room before crouching down to his level.

"I want you to go pack a bag okay? You're going to spend the night at Olly's." I whispered, earning a look from Niall as A.J. ran off to his room. I didn't say anything to Niall as I walked into the kitchen, dialing Liam's number.

"Hello?" Liam answered, a giggle sounding through the speaker.

"Hey Li. I'm just calling to let you know I'm bringing A.J. over tonight." I said, looking at Niall as he stood in the kitchen entry way. He looked upset, which I guess was better than earlier.

"Why?" Liam sounded distant, a shout of "no Oliver, you can't wear your underwear on your head like that" which was then followed by "Zayn, don't encourage him" came from the speaker.

"It's complicated and hard to explain Li... Can you just take him? It's just for the night." I whispered, starting to feel frustrated.

"Yeah, we can take him. Do you want me to come get him?"

"If you don't mind?"

"I don't. I needed to run to town anyways."

"Thanks Li..."

"No problem Harry. I'll be there in about twenty minutes." And with that Liam hung up, leaving Niall and I in an uncomfortable silence.

"What?" I asked, finally getting sick of him just standing there and looking at me. Sure my voice came out a little bitter, but I was getting frustrated. Niall still didn't say anything, but he shifted his gaze away from me. I could see that his cheeks were tear stained, something that was starting to be an everyday thing.

"What are you thinking Niall? What is going through your mind right now? Don't shut me out." I whispered, leaning against the kitchen counter as I looked at him.

"It doesn't matter. You wouldn't get it." He finally whispered, looking at me as he bit his lip.

"Try me."

"I already know what you're going to say, so what's the point? I don't need you to try and make this seem better than it really is. Now do me a favor and leave me alone." Niall was now glaring at me, his expression hard.

"Why are you being an ass?"

"I'm not being an ass."

"Yes you are. I'm your husband, it's my job to ask if you're okay. I'm supposed to help you, but you're so goddamn stubborn that you won't even let me do that."

"I don't need your help. I'm fine."

"And I'm calling bullshit. We've been down this road before Niall and we both know how it ends. Alex isn't here to help you this time."

"I don't need help. Stop saying I need help. I'm fine." Niall said defensively. His eyes were so cold as he looked at me, a look that I had once been so used to. I wasn't going to fail him this time though. I wasn't going to let him go back to the way he used to be.

"I know you did it again Niall... I know you did. Don't take me as some kind of idiot okay? I fucking know you did it." I yelled as I finally gave up with staying calm. Niall looked taken aback before turning away from me. His entire demeanor changed, going from the closed off Niall to the one who was completely vulnerable.

"Are we back to square one Niall? Are we back to where I'm not good enough for you to want to stay anymore? It's more than just you and me this time Niall. What am I supposed to tell the kids when they're older and you're not around? Are you really that selfish to leave me? I need you. You need me. So stop with the bullshit excuse that you're fine when we can both see you're falling apart. I can't lose you, not now, not ever. Please don't make me lose you..." I was in tears at this point, no longer knowing what else to do. I felt useless, and that was something I couldn't stand. He didn't say anything, and instead he left me standing alone in the kitchen.

I knew better than to go after him, but I wanted him to come back and tell me it was going to be okay.

Even though I was the one who was supposed to say that.

"Daddy?" A.J. stood where Niall had just been, looking at me with worry clear on his young face. I cracked a smile, all be it a fake one... but a smile nonetheless. There was a knock on the door which signaled that Liam had finally arrived. I walked over to A.J., wiping my eyes before picking him up.

"Ready to go squirt?" I asked, walking into the living room.

"Yes... Daddy come too?" A.J. asked as I opened the door for Liam.

"Not tonight. You're gonna be a good boy for uncle Liam right?"

"Yes Daddy. I good. Do not be sad Daddy." A.J. whispered the last part, kissing my cheek before looking at Liam. Liam didn't say a word, just smiled softly as he took A.J. from my arms.

"I love you Alexander." I whispered, kissing his cheek.

"Love you Daddy."

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Sorry for not updating for a while.

I'm kinda struggling with this story right now. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm dragging it out and I hate that feeling.

I love this story.

But yeah.

Character ask should be posted tomorrow.

Hopefully.

No promises cause I kinda suck.

Bleh.

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Connie xx