Swear Jars and Babies (Book Four)

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Six

If nothing is true,

What more can I do?

I am still painting flowers for you

"Harry. Get your ass out of my car." Liam said, glaring at me as I continued to stare at the front door to my house. I felt like a stranger, even with just looking at the door.

"I can't." I whispered, looking at the house. Every part of me wanted nothing more than to get out of that car and make things right.

But I couldn't.

"Yes you can."

"No. I really can't Liam." I said, a little defensively as I looked over at him. Liam was glaring at me, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at me.

"Stop being dramatic." He said, rolling his eyes at me.

"Stop trying to force me to go fix something that's probably not going to be fixed. I can't go in there Liam. I can't go in there and allow him to break my heart even more than he already has. I can't face him. I can't do this. So please for once in my life, stop trying to fix my problems for me. He doesn't love me."

"Will you just drop it already?! Get your ass out of my car before I drag you out by your bloody ear."

"Give me one good reason."

"Oh I don't know... maybe that fact you've got a f ucking family in there? Or maybe the fact that you're filling your head up with goddamn lies?! Seriously Styles, I'm ashamed of you." Liam huffed, glaring at me even more than before. It didn't phase me though, I was used to the glare.

He's been giving me that glare since I killed his turtle.

Some things never change.

"It's not as easy as you seem to think it is Liam."

"It's not easy because you keep telling yourself it isn't. Now get your stupid ass out of my car and stop being a brat."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, and you will." Liam groaned, climbing out of the car before walking around to my side. He literally pulled me out of the car before locking the passenger side door.

"Get your ass to that door."

"What if he doesn't take me back?" I finals whispered, looking up at Liam with scared eyes.

It was an honest question.

It needed an honest answer.

"Are we in f ucking high school again? For Christ sake Harry, you're married."

"He said he hated me."

"I'm not having this conversation again. C'mon, lets go." Liam pulled me up from the ground, brushing the grass off my clothes before pulling me by my arm to the front door. The closer we got to the house the bigger it seemed to be.

There was no way it was this big...

Oh god.

That's what she said.

"Harry."

"What?"

"That wasn't even funny."

"I'm trying to stay calm Liam... I think I'm going to puke." I whispered, the sick feeling to my stomach getting worse as soon as we reached the door.

"You'll do fine... Good luck Harry." Liam said before knocking on the door. A part of me wished he would've stayed until Niall answered the door... but nope.

He jumped off the porch and hid in the bushes.

Stupid f ucker.

Niall answered the door within a minute, but seeing him face to face didn't help my stomach.

But I didn't puke.

"Hi." I breathed out, a sudden wave of sadness coming over me as I looked at him.

He looked just fine.

And that hurt.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at me. His gaze was cold, something I hadn't dealt with in years...

"I... Honestly?"

"No. I'd prefer that you'd lie to me, you seem to be pretty good at that. " Niall rolled his eyes, his tone bitter as he glared at me. I shifted uncomfortably underneath his gaze, looking sideways at the bushes where I knew Liam was hiding.

Stupid f ucker.

Help me.

"I'm not the only one in the wrong here Niall."

"You lied first."

"You've been lying to me for over two months Niall, so don't pull that crap on me." I defended, the sadness that I had felt earlier now replaced with anger. He had no room to talk.

He was just as much the bad guy as I was.

"Whatever Harry."

"Stop playing victim. You're just as much in the wrong as I am."

"Im not playing anything." Niall nearly yelled, but assuming that the kids weren't too far away... he kept his voice semi down.

"Bullshit! You sit there and paint me as the bad guy. You throw all my mistakes right into my face, you scream at me that you hate me... and you still have the audacity to pretend that I'm the only who did anything wrong. I have done nothing but be there for you, through thick and thin... for better and for worse... and I make one mistake and suddenly everything we've ever been is a mistake to you. So you know what Niall? You've got your wish, I'm done."

"What?" Niall looked shocked at first, his eyes wide as he looked at me. I stood my ground though.

Reminding myself that this was what he wanted.

He didn't want us to be us anymore.

So I was giving him just that.

"I'm done." I said again, looking away from him so that I wouldn't cave.

"What do you m-mean you're done?"

"I'm done trying to make this work when it obviously isn't anymore. You got your wish Niall... You don't have to pretend you love me." I whispered, biting my lip as saying that out loud stabbed a little.

"Harry..."

"I'm giving you what you want, you said a lot of things yesterday and as always, you're right. I'm just sorry it took us both this long to realize we were never going to work..." I looked at him finally... he finally looked sad.

I half expected him to kiss me and call me an idiot for even considering those things...

But he didn't.

He closed the door.

------------------------------------

BEFORE YOU GET UPSET, IM SORRY OKAY?!

AND LIKE THIS IS MY PLOT PLAN.

JUST BE HAPPY I HAVENT KILLED THEM YET.

I MEAN IN MAKE ME BREAK I KILLED BOTH OF THEM...SO.

BROWNIE POINTS.

I don't know why that's all in caps.

Oh well.

QOTD: What is your favorite TV series?

AOTD: I have two (I always have more than one...) anyways, my favorite TV series are How I Met Your Mother and Supernatural. I've been binge watching them for the past two weeks on Netflix.

Haha.

I promise I have a life.

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Connie xx