Subside Everything (SB19)

GITZ, BREAK! #21

Hi, I'm the leader of SB19, my name is Sejun.

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"'Wag mong sabihin tinatamad ka?"

Gising na ako pero nanatiling nakapikit pa rin ang mga mata ko dahil tamad na tamad akong kumilos. Ayaw lang talaga ng katawan kong maki-cooperate.

"What now?" Masungit kong sagot kay Stell.

Simula kagabi, hindi pa rin kami nagbibitaw ng kamay maging pasmado man o hindi. Knowing Stell being clingy.

He shrugged his shoulders and gave a confusing look.

"Nakalimutan mo na ba ang date ngayon?"

I immediately stopped from playing his fingers to think what he just have said. Anong araw na ba ngayon? Thursday. September---

"What the f-ck!"

Agad akong nabangon at napabitaw na sa kamay ni Stell nang mag-register ngayon na it's my birthday! What the actual...Why did I forget it?!

"Nalilibang ka na, kaya hindi mo na namalayan na birthday mo. Happy birthday, love..."

Happy birthday, love...

That made me stop. Did he just called me...love? Endearment, right? And I didn't feel cringe at all. I just smiled...so genuinely. I can't say the word. I just him to feel that I'm always here. Kahit na alam kong hindi n'ya ako pipiliin kapag alam na n'ya ang totoo.

Ah, fck! It's my special day, I should be happy. Wala dapat iniisip na iba, kundi ako, siya at ang tao rito sa bahay.

"Anong plano?" tanong ko habang nagaayos ng buhok.

"Ha?"

Bumangon na s'ya mula sa higaan at uminom ng tubig sa katabing table.

"Anong gagawin natin 'ka ko," paguulit ko.

"Bakit ako?"

"Bakit hindi ikaw?!" He fired back.

Oh, yeah. Bakit ba ako nagtatanong?

"Ano raw ba ang sabi nila Ken? May shoot ba sila ngayon?"

"Bakit ako tinatanong mo? Magkakasama tayo rito, ang hindi mo alam ay hindi ko rin alam," sagot n'ya.

Nagsalubong ang kilay ko habang tinitignan s'ya ng matalim.

"Inaaway mo ba ako?"

Ngumuso s'ya bigla at dahan-dahang yumakap sa akin.

"Nagpapalambing lang, eh." He then kissed my forehead. As a sign of love and respect, and that's one of the sweetest thing he ever did.

"Ako magba-bake ng cake mo. Anong flavor gusto mo? Chocolate?"

"Yeah...ikaw bahala."

"Hmm, okay. Ligo ka na at maghahanda tayo para sa birthday mo. Happy birthday!" Humalik pa s'yang ulit sa noo ko bilang pahabol at lumabas na ng kwarto.

And the moment he left me alone, sunod-sunod na pumasok sa utak ko ang mga tanong. Nagsisimula kung tama ba ang ginagawa ko kay Stell. All this time, I was lying. He deserves the truth but that truth will make his heart broken into pieces. Natatakot na akong masaktan s'ya ulit. Iniisip ko pa lang, I felt my heart being pierced by his own hurtful words.

But that's the only thing. He deserves something more but...I love him. He deserves happiness but I can't give him that especially when he finds out the truth.

I needed to be strong. I started it and I want a happy ending...for us.

"Happy birthday, Sej..."