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As much as I want to leave, I know I can't

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As much as I want to leave, I know I can't. If I do, I'm never going to be able to sleep tonight and the overthinking won't stop. Jace knows that just as much as I do, but that doesn't mean I have to show him that. 

Or maybe I just want him around all the time, despite of what he just did.

"I don't know if that's a good idea. Maybe I need some space" I tell him , looking down to my feet. I'm still not facing Jace.

"I don't want space from you Mila, ever again. Let's talk about this, please. Let me make it up to you" he says sincerely.

With this, he has me. I breathe out all the air I was holding it. I turn around slowly and drop my bag once again, signaling him that I'll stay. After everything that happened today, he still has a spell on me.

"Thank you. Do you want to take a few minutes? I can makes us something to eat first" he offers kindly.

"I'm not hungry" I say, still rather cold.

I quickly check my phone to see the time. It's already three in the afternoon by now and I still haven't had any type of food today. My appetite is gone nonetheless. I feel terrible, like I have huge bags under my eyes from the stress and the panic attack I had.

"You're exhausted" Jace says, while taking a step towards me. 

He gets me, he always has and he always will. So I take one step back, I know that I'm going to lose it if he touches me. 

I don't want to forgive him that quickly, right now I don't want to forgive him at all.

"Do you feel better now?" he adds, not attempting to come near me again. He got the message. I don't say anything in return.

"Stupid question, sorry" he adds. "Look" Jace says and walks over to his closet to grab some clothes. "Put these on, you'll be more comfortable. We can lay down for a while" he says and hands me grey sweatpants and a shirt of his.

Laying down does sound really good right now, the attack was exhausting. Of course, Jace knows that. It almost annoys me that he knows exactly what I need, under these circumstances.

He's still standing right in front of me, waiting for me to change. Obviously I don't want him watching me right now. I look Jace into the eyes, not using any words.

"Right. Sorry" he says, as he turns around. 

A quick glance of his eyes tells me that he's slightly hurt that I don't want him watching me change at the moment. I can't help it, I already feel vulnerable enough. He did just tell another girl she was the most beautiful girl in the world after all.

I quickly take off my tight jeans and put on his comfortable sweatpants, that are way too big for me. Next, I change the shirt.

"I'm done" I say, with a crack in my voice. 

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