Shake It For Me

Tailgate Blues

~Luke's Point Of View~
 
I was sitting in the bar with Blake. He told me that we should just drink a little and talk. He knew I was down and I called him and told him my parents kicked me out of my own house so I could go out and have some fun. I needed to smile again for my boys. It was affecting my sons. They know Nikki and I were fighting. Bo even asked me why do I make mama cry so much. That brought tears to my eyes.
I didn't mean to hurt her. I was so drunk I hardly remember that night. Mostly what I remember is all we did was kiss. I couldn't do anymore. I was blacked out and then I came to realizing I was on top of her and it was not Nikki. I got off of her and she got on top of me and touched my erection and I had to push her off and kick her out. She may have called me an asshole and a douche bag but I didn't care. I couldn't have sex with someone other than my wife. I regret every damn second of it. I want to take it back but I can't. I just hope in time Nikki will come around and talk to me and not end this. I don't want to continue without her. I already wrote songs about us when we were younger before we were married. I am recording them. If she doesn't come back by the end I'm going to show her those songs and hope that she knows they are all about her.
Blake took me out of my thoughts and pointed that Nikki and Miranda were at the bar that we were at drinking. Nikki looked like she was drinking a lot. Nikki caught me staring at her and I turned away and so did she. Miranda then came up and talked to Blake ordering them drinks. Nikki was drinking Jack. That meant she was upset and going to get plastered. I put my head down and just sipped on my beer.
We sat there in silence till Nikki came up to the bar and order drinks. The bartended gave her more than what she asked for. Some man bought her a drink. My blood started to boil. I didn't want no man but me buying my woman a shot. I don't care if we are separated or what we are right now. I don't care. The bartender pointed at the man and he seemed like a dick. I hope she just goes back and sits down.
She did exactly what I wanted. Then I realized she wasn’t' She went right up to him and was talking to him. It seemed like she had a smile on her face and so did he. He got pretty close to her and my fists clenched. They had a shot together. The two guys were smirking at each other when she put her shot down.
Everything then started to go in slow motion. I was about to get out of my seat. I saw one motion my way and then the other pointed. He had a disgusted look on his face. Her face had a frown on it. I had to go over there. They were pissing her off. I started to come over when I saw her grab the guy by the collar and push him to the wall holding him there yelling at him. She was defending me. She still cared. I smiled but then realized that guy might try to hit her. She let him go.

" I'm sorry, you seem nice and all but you're friends a dick. My husband and I are going through a rough patch. This bitch shouldn't put his nose anywhere." She told the one guy she didn't push against the wall. I was at the end of the bar just watching. She walked right past me. I looked over at the dude. He gave me a little scared look and his friend had wide eyes thinking I was coming over to finish what she started.
"You got one crazy girl." The guy that had wide eyes said.
"Yeah, so don't fuck with her." I told him. He smirked.
"Seems like you already fucked her over." I was going to lunge at him when Blake pulled me away.
"Not worth it Luke." Blake said. I shrugged him off hard. I had to talk to Nikki. I saw her and Miranda leave then I walked right after them.
"Nikki!" I yelled as she started to walk away.
 
She actually turned around. She was going to let me talk to her. This would be the first time in a long time. She wouldn't even answer my calls or text messages. I understand why though. When I was going through what I wanted to say it all came out as me rambling on about how much I fucked up and how much I wanted her back. I told her how much I wanted her and how much I don't know how I'm going to keep going without her. I was going to keep on going but she kissed me. I was so surprised she did but I kissed her right back.
I put her right up against from the wall holding her there. I wanted  her to be mine. I wanted to show her I still cared in every single way. I didn't want to let her go. She knocked my hat off my head and I didn't care about it.  She then pulled away and told me to take her somewhere without my parents and the kids. I know what she wanted and she could probably feel what I wanted. If this was going to help my chances then I'm going for it.
I got my keys and a few things happened between then but I was too excited to even notice. I took her to our spot. That is where we made rough love. I know it was making love. So many feelings we needed to put out there. She yearned for me and I yearned for her. It was amazing. We fell asleep in the bed of my Chevy. She was in my arms holding onto me. I stayed awake watching her sleep like I always would whenever I had to chance. She was at piece and had a smile on her face. I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her before drifting off to sleep.
When I woke up the sun was up and I heard the birds. I was holding onto a pillow and she was gone. My heartfelt alone. I looked all around for signs that she just stayed around here but I doubted it. Her phone was gone, and so were her heels. I wonder how long she has been gone. I can't let her just walk away. We still need to talk. I quickly got in my truck and drove down the path but she wasn't there. I cussed and hit my steering wheel over and over again.
I just went home and got a shower. The boys were up and I played ball with them. I told  Blake that it was time for them to go back to her and he agreed to get them. He asked me what happened and I couldn't answer. I just shook my head. when he left it was getting dark I told my parent's I was going to ride around in my truck. A few guys  wanted to have a bonfire and I decided that I might hit that up.
When I was tired of just driving I went that way. The songs on the radio kept reminding me of her. Every damn one. My heart was hurting and I wanted to drink my sorrows but I knew that would get my ma pissed at me.
The bonfire wasn't anything too special. We were by the bridge. People wanted me to play my guitar like I use to. I didn't really want to but I did. The songs didn't feel right. Nothing did. Nikki was not here next to me singing along or ever here to listen to me basically sing to her. I decided to stop and go off on my own.
I got to this part of the woods that we would always go. I saw the creek run slow past me. The lightning bugs were out. You could hear the crickets all around me. I heard all the animals just belle ring out. I went into my truck and got the fifth of Jameson I had left in the glove box. I drank it and had a buzz. I threw the empty body in the back of my truck. I sat on my hood and put my head in my hands. I need her back. I went to my tailgate and started to strum my guitar. After five minutes I had an idea. I had another song writing itself in my head. I started to sign along to what I was strumming.
 
"I catch my buzz in the black of night where nobody ever goes and the warm wind blows if I lose my cool in the open and it shows then I'm down and I ain't alright. I search my soul where there is no moon." I started to sign and wished I would remember this tomorrow when I would write it. down.
 
I went back home and my parents were asleep. I decided to write the whole song down then. I fell asleep with pen and paper in my hands.