Found In The Wild Waves

Chapter 2

Embarassment...

Life at school isn't really that wonderful. That is what i always thought everytime i go to school. I am now in my senior high school, particularly in 11th grade and i can't tell if it is going to be the same like what happened in the last few years or it will be the start of my whole new experience in life.

It's just 6:30 in the morning and my class will start at 7:30, but here i am, already walking and heading to where my classroom is. Tahimik pa ang lugar dahil kakaunti pa ng ang mga students since first day pa langat maaga pa naman. Some of the early students are looking at me pero hindi ko masabi kung anong klaseng tingin ang binibigay nila sa'kin. Maybe they were looking at me because i'm new to this school. Or maybe because i really looked different to them. I cannot blame them, tho. Kung ako ang nasa posisyon nila ay baka magtataka rin ako kung bakit nakapasok ang weird na babaeng tulad ko sa lugar na 'to.

Nakarating ako sa classroom ko and i was so shock to see someone in there. I look at my wrist watch and it's just 6:37 in the morning. This guy is an early bird. It's good to know that there's someone who values time but it's awkward for me since i'm not used to being alone in a room with someone i don't really know.

Hindi ko na lang ito pinansin at pumunta na lang sa upuan ko. The last chair on the right side that's beside the window. My favorite spot to isolate myself from possible people that will probably mess with my life.

Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana at napangiti nang sumalubong sa'kin ang ihip ng hangin. Tinignan ko ang mga puno na tila sumasayaw kasabay ng hangin at ang sinag ng araw na lalong nagpapadagdag sa ganda na taglay ng simpleng tanawin. I really find this scene soothing. It makes my mind calm even just for a short period of time. At least i can stay away from my endless thoughts.

Napansin ko ang taong nauna pa sa'kin pumasok sa loob ng classroom. Nakasuot ng headphones habang nakapikit ang mga mata. Maybe he's listening to some music. Pinagmasdan ko siya. He didn't even bother to look at me when i entered the room. Maybe he didn't noticed me at all when i came here or he just really don't care about me or everything about him. Kalmado ang mukha niya na para bang walang kahit anong problemang iniisip. He looks like an angel with that calm face. Suddenly, staring at his angelic face makes me calm, too.

Hindi ko namalayan kung gaano katagal akong nakatingin sa kaniya pero bumalik na lamang ang isip ko sa kasalukuyan nang marinig na pumasok ang iba pang students sa loob ng classroom. Naging maingay sa loob kaya naman siguro nagmulat ng mata ang taong kanina ko pa pinagmamasdan. Our eyes met when he opened his eyes kaya naman agad akong nag iwas ng tingin dahil sa kahihiyan. It is so rude at me for staring at someone who's asleep!

I didn't bother looking at his side again because of what happened and i just tried my best to focus on the scenery outside the window. That was so embarassing! Mabuti na lang at hindi niya ako nahuli.

Our classes start by introducing ourselves in front since it's just the first day of school. I really hate thuis part. I hate crowds. I hate beig in front of other people specially when their all attwntion is on me. I maybe over reacting but i feel like i'm going to puke. Hindi ko matiis na 'yung mga mata nila ay nakatutok lang sa'kin.

When my turn to introduce myself finally came, i was nervous as hell. Habang naglalakad ako papunta sa unahan ay ramdam ko ang tingin ng mga kaklase ko sa'kin, 'yung tingin na nagtatanong kung bakit ako nandito at nagsasabing hindi ako nababagay sa lugar na'to. Maybe it is just me, overthinking but i can't help it. This is my weakness.

"G-good morning, everyone. I'm a transferee so i hope to get along to all of you well." sabi ko habang nasa unahan nilang lahat. I tried my best not to stutter in front of them. I am planning to end this day with zero record of anything that will embarass me to go to this school.

I confirmed the things i was thinking earlier when i saw the disgust on their faces. Hindi ko alam kung bakit gano'n ang tingin nila sa'kin na para bang may ginawa akong mali sa kanila. Mga tingin na hinuhusgahan ang pagkatao ko kahit hindi pa naman nila ako kilala ng lubusan. I wasn't overthinking anymore. The moment they noticed me, they already hated me. It kinda hurts but i'm used to people not liking me. I've already enough of them.

I go back to where i was seated and just stare at nothing but outside the window, not minding what's happening in the present. This is my only escape from this mess. I am tired of trying but i still have to. I may not know now what's the purpise of all of these, but i am hoping that someday i will realize what is it. For now, i just have to find something that can help me breathe for a while.

Dumating ang lunch break at halos bilang na lang ang natira sa loob ng room at kasama sa natira ang taong nakaagaw ng pansin ko kaninang umaga. Now, i know why this person got my attention and it's because he can really get everyones attention. After all, he's good looking.

He's popular in our school, that's what i'm sure of. Specially to the girls. Halos buong umaga yata ay nakatitig lang ang karamihan sa kaniya and i cannot exclude myself from them. Napapatingin din naman ako sa gawin iya from time to time dahil good looking nga siya. Hindi ko masisisi ang sarili ko.

Pumasok ang dalawang lalaki na pinagtitinginan din ng mga babae sa loob at labas ng classroom namin. Lumapit sila sa lalaking kanina pa nandito kasabay ng dalalwa pang babae na classmare ko. Nag-usap silang lima at mukhang magkakaibigan sila. A group of friends full of good looking people.

"Pre, hindi ka pumasok kanina, ah? Tapos nandito ka lang pala? Nag text sa'kin si Klare, sinabi niyang nandito ka nga raw at nag sit-in." sabi nu'ng isang lalaki.

"Yeah, we were actually looking for you earlier. Hindi ka pa ba naka move on sa grade 11 kaya ka bumalik dito?" Tumawa 'yung isa pa habang hawak ang isang malaking bag of chips.

The guy just smirked at them then looked at my direction. Hindi ko naman matago ang gulat dahil hindi ko namalayan na nakatitig na ako sa kanila nang matagal at nakikinig sa usapan nila.

Hinarap ako ng lalaki, "Miss, i know that i'm handsome, but do you know that staring is rude? Kanina ka pang umaga, ah? Why don't you just take a picture of me and just stare at that instead?" nakakalokong sabi ng lalaki.

Napatungo naman ako dahil sa kahihiyan, "I'm sorry... Uh, e-excuse me..." nasabi ko na lang at dali-daling tumakbo palabas habang rinig ang usapan ng mga nadaraanan dahil sa nakita at narinig din nila ang sinabi nung lalaki.

I can almost hear the loud beats of my heart. Nakakahiya! I shouldn't have done that! Pero masiyado rin naman yata siyang mayabang? Mukhang hindi ko siya magugustuhan. Ayaw ko sa tulad niya na masiyadong mataas ang tingin sa sarili. Oo nga't gwapo siya pero masiyado naman siyang mahangin.

Patuloy lang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa umabot ako sa part ng school na tahimik at walang masiyadong tao. It's the garden. This school is really rich. Kahit garden nila ay sobrang ganda. Nakakalungkot nga lang na walang masiyadong tao to see it's beauty but it's actually an advantage for me. I can go to this place whenever i want to vent.

After minutes of silence, i sighed remembering the embarassment i felt a while ago. Ako pa rin naman ang gumawa ng sariling kahihiyan. Tinitigan ko na nga siya, nakinig pa ako sa usapan nila ng mga kaibigan niya.

Sinapo ko na lang ang noo ko saka bumuntong hininga. Looks like this isn't my day. It's just starting but i really want to go home now.

Muling bumalik sa isip ko amg lalaki kanina pati na rin ang narinig na usapan nila kanina.

"That guy isn't my classmate but why is he sitting there and no one is complaining?" I whispered to myself.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ulit ako at tumitig sa kawalan. This is too much for my first half of the day in school.