Found In The Wild Waves

Chapter 37

Trip...

Dumaan ang ilang araw at sa loob ng mga araw na 'yon ay nagmumukmok lang ako sa loob ng kwarto ko. Pumapasok ako sa school, but i feel like i am just going there for nothing. But i really tried my best to go on. Nagpapasalamat na lang din ako dahil masiyadong busy si Dylan. He wouldn't worry too much about me.

Itinaas ko ang kamay ko at nakita ang mga sugat doon. I feel so stupid. I kept on hurting myself physically. I put cuts on my wrist, but it's not deep enough to end me. I just feel satisfied whenever i see my blood flowing down my wrist. It feels like it can actually ease the pain that i am feeling.

Biglang nag ring ang phone ko kaya naman tinatamad akong sinagot 'yon. It's weekend and i don't have the guts to talk to anyone right now.

"Good morning, baby!" Masiglang bati niya.

Even on his energy, i can't really keep up. But i don't want him to worry too much. Ayaw ko ng maging pabigat sa mga kasama ko.

"Morning." Pilit kong sagot.

"Teka, may sakit ka ba? You don't sound okay." nag-aalalang tanong niya.

"I'm fine. Inaantok pa kasi ako."

It's just an excuse. Even if i wasn't able to sleep all night, i'm not sleepy at all.

"Oh, okay! Buksan mo na ang pinto. Nasa labas ako."

I don't know what's with him today. Gusto kong mapag-isa. How i wish he's busy again today, but i can't sau that to him. Matagal na rin naman noong huli kaming nagkita.

Nang buksan ko ang pinto ay napaatras kaagad ako nang salubungin niya ako ng isang mahigpit na yakap.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I asked.

"We're going on a trip!" Masayang anunsyo niya.

I can be with him all day today. Hindi naman masama sa loob ko kung may date kaming dalawa, but a trip? I think i can't do that right now.

"Ayoko."

Mula sa ngiti ay sumimangot siya kaagad.

"But everyone is in the van already! We're just waiting for you!"

Agad na sumama ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Kung gusto niya pala akong sumama then he should've told me about this trip earlier hindi kung kailan last minute na.

"Come on! I miss you so much so i want to spend time with you. How can i enjoy there if you're here?"

I sighed. Even if i want to stay at home, i can't say no to him if he's persistent like this. Even if i am feeling miserable inside, i want to do my best in making him happy. Even if i can't smile, i at least want him to smile.

"Alright. Let me pack some things first."

"Okay, i love you!"

Napailing na lang ako. I hope he will always be like this. He's like the sunshine to my rain. Having him beside me like this is enough. I don't need more, but just him.

Sa loob ng van ay nagulat ako nang makilala kung sino-sino ang nando'n. Rhyss, Klare, and Diana is there. Of course, Lance and Jace is present. Nang magtama naman ang tingin namin ni Ryle ay mabilis kong iniwas ang tingin ko sa kaniya. I'm still not okay. I feel like i'm going to cry again, but what really shocked me the most is Tyler. Hindi ko inakapang madadawit siya sa trip na 'to.

Sa tabi nila Rhyss ako naupo. They are so loud. Puro tawanan ang pumupuno sa loob ng van and it's not like i'm against their happiness, but i know that i will just ruin the mood kaya naman natulog na lang ako buong byahe. Hindi naman nila ako kailangan talaga para lang sumaya.