Found In The Wild Waves

Chapter 22

Permission...

I feel like everything is so difficult for me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nauwi sa ganito ang lahat ng nangyayari sa paligid ko. I want to ask why everything seems so messy, but who am i going to ask?

Hindi naman talaga siguro mahirap ang problema ko. Ako lang talaga siguro ang nagpapakomplikado ng lahat, but i want to know kung paano humantong sa ganito.

Hindi ko naman gustong isipin na binigyan lang ako ni Ryle ng problema, pero gano'n ang nangyari. And if pains me now that i can tell him straight to his eyes that i cannot love him and yet, i can't tell it to Dylan.

Am i being unfair for the both of them.

Habang nasa loob ng kwarto ay inilabas ko ang sulat na ibinigay sa'kin ni Dylan. Actually, ipinadala niya lang ito dito sa bahay at sinabing kagabi niya lang din ito isinulat. I don't have plans on reading this, but there's something about it that tempts me to read everything that was written in here.

I took a deep breath and starting reading the letter. I never thought that Dylan would do something like this. Kung may gusto siyang sabihin ay pwede naman niyang sabihin 'to through text messages, but it is Dylan. He tends to do the weirdest things sometimes.

November 10.

For almost two days that i didn't talk to Angel even though she's just so close to me was like hell. It is clichè, but my day is not complete anymore without her. I feel so lost that's when i saw her tonight walking without a direction, i immediately followed her. I just can't stop myself from watching over here whenever she is. And besides, it's already too late. I can't let her go out alone in the middle of the night specially here in the mountain.

When i looked at her expression again, my heart broke when i saw that look on her face again. Tge looks of seeking for help. Depress and sad.

I want to hug her to make her feel that i'm just here for her. I want to be near her. I want to be beside here because i really hate that look on her face and right now, i can run immediately to her and beg for her. If i have to, i will kneel down to Gods just to stop her pain, but i know she needs some time alone.

I just stared at her while she's staring at the sky. The moonlight was emphasizing her beauty. She's really an angel sent from above. She's like those stars that gives direction for those who were lost. She's my fallen star that will give direction to my life.

I sat beside her and just listened to her. I know how fragile she is. I know how diffucult it is for her that's why it's breaking my heart. I don't even know what to do just to ease the pain that she's feeling. I feel so damn useless because i can't do anything for her. I want to make her happy, but how can i if i can't even stop her pain?

I just hugged her. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Wala akong ideya kung ano ba talaga ang dapat para maging okay na siya. I hate seeing her breaking apart like this, but i think it would be more selfish of me if i ask her to stop being vulnerable just because i am hurtig too. That's why even if it also hurts me, the pain that she's feeling is way more difficult that's why i'll just let her be vulnerable. At least when she's with me.

It's okay if Angel would be vulnerable because i'll get stronger for her. If she cannot do it for herself, i'll gladly do it.

I wasn't planning on confessing my feelings to her right now. Not at this time, but i was so annoyed at what she said that i can't control my feelings anymore. I want my confession to be special because she deserve it, but here i am, confessing my feelings to the girl i like... No, to the girl i love. I was also shocked at myself when i kissed her.

I wonder what Angel felt at that time? Did i scare her? She must really think now that i am crazy.

When my lips kissed her lips, i already know that it will be my drug. It will put me into an adiction and nothing will cure me, but just her soft lips. I was so mad at myself because i didn't controlled myself, but i don't regret any of it. Our kiss under the moonlight gives me the euphoric feeling i have ever felt in my entire life.