Found In The Wild Waves

Chapter 32

Comfort...

Yesterday was Dylan's graduation ceremony. Time really flies so fast. Hindi ko napansin na halos isang taon na pala kaming magkakilala. Isang taon na pala simula nang dumating sila sa buhay ko. Parang kailan lang nang makilala ko sila. Ang bilis ng panahon. Now, we're ending this chapter of our lives.

The recognition day was held today. In our batch, i got the highest honor, but it's funny because i didn't got happy at all. Maybe because i am the only one who doesn't have a family here. Lahat ng kasama ko ay dala ang pamilya nila, but i was all alone. Kahit na ayos lang naman sa'kin 'yon, iba pa rin talaga kung nandito 'yung mga taong naging rason kung bakit ko nakuha lahat ng 'to.

Dylan's mother volunteered to guide me in the stage and even though i am really thankful for that, i politely refused her offer. I don't want any other person to stand beside me at that time. Ang gusto ko ay ang paremts ko dahil para naman sa kanila ang mga ginagawa ko. I want them to acknowledge the fruits of my hard work that's why i want them to be beside me in days like this. My success is theirs, but i guess thay wasn't the case for them.

I worked so hard this whole school year lalo na't nasa ibang environment ako, but all of this seems just like nothing to them. Siguro nga ay ganito lang talaga ang magiging takbo ng buhay ko. I will keep on working hard to prove myself to my family.

Nakakatawang nag-advise ako noon na hindi niya kailangang patunayan ang sarili niya sa kahit na sino, but here i am, proving mgself to all of them. Kahit na gustuhin kong sundin ang payo ko, it's really hard if i keep on looking for my place in that family. It is hard because i keep on wanting them to finally look at me.

Dylan's family invited me over their house pero muli ko lang silang tinanggihan. Dylan was so worried for me, but i am told him that i am okay. He's probably worried because he knows so much how much i want my family to see my existence. Ryle was also here. Of course her will be here, after all, he's also a family to me.

Kahit na ayos lang naman talaga sa'kin na sumama sa pamilya ni Dylan, gusto ko pa ring umuwi sa bahay ng parents ko. It's been a while simula nang huli ko silang makita. Pasko pa noon and now, it's already April. Ilang buwan na rin ang nakalipas.

The pain from that day still lingers in my heart. It's still hurting me and i know that all the pain that they'ce caused me wouldn't heal amymore. The cut is too deep already, but it's alright. Alam kong darating din ang oras na aayon din sa'kin ang lahat.

Nanag makauwi ako ay nakasalubong ko kaagad si Matthew, ang bunso kong kapatid. I immediately smiled. Ang bilis niyang lumaki.

"Hi, Matt!" Masiglang bati ko sa kaniya.

Saglit niya lang akong binalingan ng tingin saka dumiretso na lang paalis na parang hindi ako nakita. Nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. Hindi na rin naman ako umaasa na sasalubungin niya ako dahil noon pa lang ay hindi na talaga kami close ni Matthew. Kahit na anong gawin ko para mapalapit kaming dalawa, wala talagang umuubra.

Apat na taon ang agwat ng edad ko sa kaniya pero ni minsan ay hindi niya ako tinawag na ate. Parehas lang naman sila ng isa ko pang kapatid. I actually don't know why we became like this. Siguro ay dahil na rin sa personality ko kaya hindi kami close. Mailap din ako sa kanila and lately lang din akong sumubok na mapalapit sa kanila pero mukhang huli na rin ang lahat.

"Matt! Kakain na!" It's Kristel's voice.

Nagtama ang tingin namin ni Kristel pero tulad ni Matt ay hindi niya rin ako pinansin. Dumiretso lang siya papalapit sa direksyon ni Matt at saka doon sila nagtawanan na dalawa. They looked really close to each other so i can't help to envy them. Kahit naman na mailap ako sa tao ay hindi ko ginustong maituring na parang multo. I still want to get close to them kahit na bilang kaibigan na lang.