Fat Girl - BTS FF

Chapter 41: Brightness and Goodness

HOSPITAL - Y/N POV

When I woke up everything was very fuzzy.  I was confused until I realized that I was in a hospital room. I sat up into a sitting position from laying in the bed and my head was pounding. I looked down at my belly which made the memories of what happened flood back to my mind like Victoria Falls.... 

My Stinky-Butt. I was a mother... It was the best feeling in the world. 

I remember hearing lots of commotion in the delivery room... beeping and clinking sounds. Then last thing I remember is crying... because Stinky-Butt's heart stopped beating. 

My Stinky-Butt... 

I rubbed my belly but I knew he wasn't there anymore... No Stinky-Butt.

The door opened and Jimin stepped inside. He greeted me but I lay back down on the bed and turned my back to him.  I cannot look at him... I am ashamed. 

Because of me, the baby is gone. It is all my fault. Had I realized that I was pregnant I wouldn't have done anything that would hurt the baby. I did this to Jimin. The person who loves me most in this world is dealing with an unspeakable pain because of me. 

I can't even look him in the eye. I felt the bed dip. Jimin is now laying behind me with one hand in front of my waist and the other he is using his fingers to comb my hair out my face. I feel his warm breath on my ear and cheek.

Jimin: "Why are you turning away from me, Lovely? I want to see your face." He says softly into my ear. I start fretting... I am about to cry.

Y/N: "No. I can't face you." I say quietly as I begin to unravel again. 

Jimin: "Stop Lovely. I need to tell you what happen-" I cut him off before he could finish speaking.

Y/N: "I already know what happened! You can stop calling me that because I'm not lovely! I'm UGLY! I'm a bad person!!! A bad mom! I hate myself right now! How can you stand to look at me?!  How can you love me... when I don't love me right now? I hurt my baby boy... my poor baby boy." My voice starts out raised, but by the time I was done speaking my words were barely a whisper. The tears and pain had overtaken me at that moment.

Jimin: "I said look at me." He demands. I think he was frustrated with me. But when I turned toward him, his face was just sad... his gaze was soft when my teary eyes finally make contact with his. 

His mouth opened about to speak, but there was a quiet knock on the door. It opened and a young lady's voice can be heard. We both turned to look at her.

Young Nurse: "Mr Park... sir... I brought a wheelchair so that you can take your wife to the NICU." She said very politely with a warm smile. 

Jimin: "Thank you." He nods to the nurse then she bows and leaves the room. He turns his attention back to me.

Jimin: "We need to talk. Get into this wheelchair and don't you dare interrupt me until I am finished. OK?" He said firmly.

Y/N: "OK." I say meekly and wide eyed. I step off of the bed then sat onto the wheelchair. 

I am confused because I can walk just fine. Yet I let him push me in the wheelchair down the hall. He explained everything that happened after I was sedated. I quietly took it all in. Now I know why I needed a wheelchair... I would have probably fell down to the floor in shock if I wasn't sitting. My baby is alive and in the NICU until they are sure he is relatively healthy! The weight of the world was removed from my shoulders. He is OK.

When we finally reach the NICU, I stood up from the wheelchair. They moved my baby boy to the front of the room. I could watch him through a window, but couldn't hold him because he couldn't be removed from the little enclosure he was in. His lips were like Jimin's lips. His nose was like mine. His eyes were taped shut. He had various tubes connected to him. It hurt to see him like this... but it was bliss to see him at all.... and moving his little body a bit! He came out of me. He is so small. His arm bracelet says, "Baby Park." Seeing those words solidifies it all. 

Y/N: "Baby Park... He was only 2lbs, 1oz? Why on earth did I have a hard time pushing out such a little baby?" I chuckle at my own words.

Jimin: "I don't know, but I sure got beat up during the process. You are heavy handed... like a dude." He snickers. I scoff.

Y/N: "No way... I am a gentle lady who likely treated you accordingly." We both giggle at that lie.

Jimin: "Lovely?" His voice sounds so sweet when he calls me that. I blush.

Y/N: "Hmm?" I hum.

Jimin: "I would like to give our Stinky a real name now." He says while staring at the baby.

Y/N: "OK, what do you have in mind?" I ask.

Jimin: "Let's name him after your real father. Since Lee Min Ho is his name.... Stinky-Butt can be Park Min Ho. He says sincerely with a genuine smile. I nod.

Y/N: "OK. I like that... A lot. Park Min Ho. Minho means brightness and goodness. That is what I want him to be.... A bright light to everyone he meets due to his beaming personality. I want him to be a good person and treat others well. It is our job to guide him to be this way. We can do it." I say before Jimin bends down and gives me a lingering closed mouth kiss. The sweet and loving kind that I love.

Jimin: "Oh... Although we can't hold Minho, you can touch him through these holes." He smiles as his hand enters the hole and touched Minho's tiny hand.

I follow his lead and do the same... When I felt his soft skin I immediately fell in love. I stroked his arm and played with his little feet which he kicked in the air at my touches. 

Y/N: "My beautiful son, I know you had a hard time from the beginning. I am sorry for that. But thank you for staying with us. I will love and protect you from now on. Although you don't know it yet, you are precious, and someone loves you more than anything in the world. I hope you never doubt your importance in this world. You fought to be with us, and I will forever be grateful. I love you, my baby." I say these words with joy and a peaceful calm over my body and mind... and heart. 

I exhale all of the previous problems out of my system... Everything that happened before this moment was erased.

My parents' betrayal... Being forced to marry and having to fight Jungkook... The men I dealt with before realizing my love for Jimin:    Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and....... Especially Taehyung, because he broke my heart into many pieces...  

All of it is washed away... and now I have a new beginning with Jimin and Minho... The two loves of my life.

------

THE END

THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE! DON'T WORRY! 

I just want to say that I really appreciate you reading my story. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it. 

I am going to start a new book soon. 

Love you guys! Thank you!