Call Out My Name [spencer reid x reader] ✔︎

23. never tear us apart

𝐵𝐸𝐹𝑂𝑅𝐸 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝐵𝐸𝐺𝐼𝑁𝑆, 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝐴𝑁𝑌𝑂𝑁𝐸 𝑊𝐻𝑂 𝐷𝐼𝐷𝑁'𝑇 𝑆𝐸𝐸 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑇𝐼𝐾𝑇𝑂𝐾 𝐼 𝑃𝑂𝑆𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝐸𝐴𝑅𝐿𝐼𝐸𝑅 𝐼 𝐽𝑈𝑆𝑇 𝑊𝐴𝑁𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝑇𝑂 𝑆𝐴𝑌 𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑁𝐾 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑆𝑂 𝑀𝑈𝐶𝐻 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐶𝑂𝑁𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑁𝑇 𝑆𝑈𝑃𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇 𝑂𝑁 𝑀𝑌 𝐹𝐼𝐶𝑆, 𝐼 𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑆𝑂 𝑀𝑈𝐶𝐻!

𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐺.
• panic attacks

There's always that small, brief moment in the morning right when you wake up after something traumatic has happened where everything is good. There's nothing to worry about because your mind has temporarily let go of all your built up fear and rage. It's like your conscious and your subconscious came together while you were sleeping and decided to allow you a split-second moment of genuine peace. You try to hold onto that, but, eventually, reality sets in, and you realize that nothing has changed.

You're still caught in the same whirlwind of pain, swept up by the unforgiving hand of pure, agonizing adversity, fated to spend your days walking the earth with a cloud of calamity constantly churning around you.

Nothing could've broken your heart more than waking up in bed, basking in that pithy moment of perfect peace before you finally realized that Spencer wasn't in bed with you. You sat up quickly, leaning back on your hands as you glanced frantically around the room until you saw him.

He was standing by the window, peeking out from behind the closed curtains, searching for any possible glimpse of movement in the distance. He looked like a mess— his shirt was wrinkled and it wasn't tucked in all the way, his tie hanging loose. His disheveled hair was sticking up in random spots, his glasses pushed up on his nose.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me," you said to him as you pushed the covers back, standing from the bed. "What are you doing? Did you see something?"

Spencer shrugged his shoulders, pulling the curtains shut as he turned around to look at you. "I don't know. I thought I saw a flash or something, but... I- I guess I was wrong."

He looked exhausted. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist as you asked, "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"I tried." His voice was quiet as he spoke. You almost wondered if he'd been crying before you woke up, the raspiness in his voice clouting your heart, feeling it break for him all over again. "I just... I couldn't close my eyes without seeing his face."

"Well, I'm glad you at least tried," you said, smiling at him as you moved to stand in front of him, smoothing your hands over his shirt and tucking it in, reaching up to readjust his tie. Spencer watched you as you worked, his eyes studying you as you leaned forward on your tip-toes, combing the knots out of his hair with your fingers.