Untangling a Memory

"I got out"

"Hey Buck, it's Sam. I just wanted to let you know, I'm going to hang out here today, just outside your door. There's some food out here. You can take just that if you want and you don't have to say anything to me. I can pretend that I didn't even see you. I'm not going to ask to come in, that's 100% your decision. But if you decide you want to chat with me, I'll be here all day. Otherwise, no worries. I'll just chill and read my book."

Sam settled himself down on the floor next to Bucky's door. It had been a week since Steve, Sam, and Natasha had seen Bucky. Steve was ready to try anything, but Sam had talked Steve into letting him give it a go. So, Sam sat there, next to a bottle of water and a plate with a BLT, some chips, and an apple, and started to read. Sam was in no rush.

Bucky heard what Sam said through the door as he sat on the floor in the corner of his open window. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, whether to talk to Sam or not. He didn't know Sam. Steve had told Bucky it might be a good idea early on, but things had changed now. Bucky wasn't sure he wanted to talk to anyone about the awful things Natasha had told about him. So, he kept sitting in the window, with his legs bent to his chest, resting his chin on his knees.

After a while, Bucky's stomach began to rumble. He was trying to put off eating, but he hadn't eaten his dinner last night after feeling guilty about seeing another note from Steve he wasn't prepared to look at. He was mad at himself for being so human- the Winter Soldier wouldn't have given in to feelings like hunger. But he wasn't exactly the Winter Soldier anymore and whatever was on the other side of the door smelled really good.

Bucky walked over to the door and slowly opened it. Right in front of the door was the bottle of water and plate with the BLT, chips, and apple. Next to his door was Sam, reading a book. He didn't look up as Bucky opened the door or when he took the plate and the water. Sam just kept reading. Bucky closed the door again and began to eat on the floor next to the door.

Bucky slowly ate the food while repeated giving little glances towards the door. Since Sam arrived and let Bucky know he was there, he had sat quietly and read his book, just as he had said he would. This was a side of Sam Bucky hadn't seen before.

"What are you reading?" Bucky had quietly opened the door again, barely peaking his head past the frame.

Sam showed him the cover, finger in the middle of his book, holding his place. "Twilight: New Moon. It's about a girl and vampires and giant human-wolves and stuff. It's pretty good." Sam had kept his eyes down, looking towards his book the whole time, and now returned to reading it.

Bucky continued to stand in the doorway. He looked around down both sides of the hallway now, towards the common room, towards the other suites, and back down at Sam. "Where are the others?"

"Steve and Natasha are out for the day. I told them they were banned." Sam continued with his head in his book.

"Banned?"

"Yup, just you and me. And that sandwich. Glad you finally took it, because I was about eat it."

Bucky stood in the doorway looking down at Sam. All Bucky could think was that Sam had done exactly what he said: He was still just reading his book. He hadn't asked to come in. He was sitting there, in case Bucky wanted to talk to him.

"Ok."

"Ok?" Sam said as he flipped a page in his book.

"Ok, you can come in. For a bit." Bucky held the door open. Sam stood up, closing his book, and walked into Bucky's room.

"Do you mind if I sit?"

Bucky gestured to a chair by the window and Sam sat down, putting his book in his lap. Sam looked at the cover of his book and out the window, a calm, pleasant look on his face. Bucky sat down on the end of his bed, feet hanging over the edge. He had his shoulders hunched, looking a bit defeated.