Untangling a Memory

Distance is nothing

Late in the morning, Natasha finally woke. It took her a minute or more to gain her bearings, but the distinct change from hard rocks to soft pillows could only mean she was back in a familiar bed. The smell of crisp linens and peppermint told her that she was, more specifically, in Steve's bed. She's stretched her limbs and yawned, before she finally realized she wasn't alone. A heavy body was weighing down a corner of the end of the bed, clearly that of one of her favorite super soldiers.

"Good morning, beautiful. I was wondering when you were going to wake up."

"I needed my sleep! You saw how I was living."

"Yes, I did and I can see you made yourself quite at home in my room. You drooled on my pillow."

Natasha kicked Steve lightly, as she wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth. "Clearly, it's my pillow now."

Natasha sat up in bed, looking around and taking another big stretch. She was happy to be home, but Steve's room provided a particular sense of safety. She wasn't sure what laid beyond his door yet and it still left a pit in her stomach.

"You tell the others that I'm back yet?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I talked to Sam when I saw him on his way to the gym this morning and Buck saw me carrying you in last night."

Right. Bucky. Natasha's heart began to race again at the thought of talking with him and having to explain herself.

"What did they say?"

Steve pet Natasha's socked feet. "They missed you and are happy you are back."

"Did you..." She trailed off.

"No, I didn't tell them what we talked about. That's up to you when you want to talk to them. But you already know what I think."

Natasha nodded as she stared at her hands. She was fidgeting with the ties on the sweatshirt she was wearing, unconsciously pulling it closer to her.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Breakfast? I mean, I haven't eaten since the food you brought me last night and I wasn't eating a lot before that."

"Well, you're in luck." Steve walked over to his desk, picked up a tray of food, coffee, and juice, and placed it next to Natasha on the night stand.

Natasha picked up the cover over the plate to reveal buckwheat waffles, her favorite. "Thank you, Steve. You always know just what to make me." She smiled at him warmly.

"Don't thank me..." Steve said, raising an eyebrow.

Natasha's smile quickly turned to awkward chagrin. She thought about telling him to take it back, but she couldn't reject a cup of coffee. She took a sip and it was strong and black, almost to the point where it was thick like sludge, just as she liked it.

"He's trying..."

Natasha let the mug warm her hands, holding it in front of her like Cap's shield. "Yeah, I don't know..."

"Don't know what?"

"I don't know how to talk to him. I feel guilty."

"That you left?"

Natasha nodded. "And that I didn't trust him."

"Ahhh, got it." Steve crawled up next to Natasha, so they were both leaning against the headboard. "Well, based on what you told me, I think you have every right to be having a hard time with trusting right now. But you took a first step- you decided to trust me, tell me what happened, and come back when I asked."