Untangling a Memory

He cares about you.

Bucky was already in the kitchen by the time Natasha walked down the stairs to the common room. She had thought about spending as long as she could that morning avoiding anywhere she might see him, but then she was reminded that Steve would continue to bother her about getting something to eat and drink. Sooner or later, she would have to face him today, even as her skin crawled just at the idea of it.

Natasha focused on her breathing as she saw him at the sink, cleaning up from his breakfast. Slow breaths. In, out. Her footsteps were silent as she padded across the floor, Bucky not noticing her approach.

She tried not to panic as she moved closer. You're ok. He'll know who you are. Slow breaths. In, out. This isn't like before. You're no longer there. Slow breaths. In, out. Finally, she sat down at her usual spot at the counter, placing her phone down noisily to alert Bucky to her presence. She braced herself as she waited for him to turn around.

"Oh holy shit, Natasha! You scared me!" Bucky dropped the pan that he was scrubbing in the sink with a loud crash.

A wave of relief rolled over Natasha as she heard her name spill out of his mouth as he turned to face her. His eyes weren't empty. He knew exactly who she was, at least who she was now. She let out a deep sigh.

Bucky's brows furrowed as he looked over Natasha. Her body looked heavy and defeated. Her shoulders slung low, as she leaned her elbows on the counter. Her eyes were gloomy and swollen from crying. She was wearing one of Steve's sweatshirts with the hood pulled over her head, which only made her look more gaunt. Bucky swallowed hard upon seeing her in this state.

Natasha wasn't making eye contact anymore, just aimlessly looking at a spot in front of her with nothing in particular to stare at. She had gotten herself downstairs, but now her mind was blank again.

"Can I get you some coffee? It will only take a couple of minutes to brew a fresh pot."

Natasha looked up at Bucky and realized he'd been watching her the whole time. Part of her felt self-conscious, but the rest of her was just trying to put together something to say.

"Can I have..." As Natasha began to speak, her voice broke mid-sentence. She hadn't realized how raw her throat was. She starred at Bucky mournfully.

"How about some tea with honey?" Natasha nodded.

Bucky turned around and grabbed the kettle from the stove to fill with water. As he turned on the faucet, his eyes became glassy with tears. Looking at her, he knew what must have happened overnight, but seeing her like this made him want to double over and let the salty water run down his face. He took a deep breath and battled his thick eyelashes against his cheeks remove the glossy look from his eyes, as he buried his sadness.

Bucky turned around to face Natasha once more as he put a tea bag in a mug and waited for the kettle to heat up. She now had her head laid sideways on her arms that were folded on the counter. She looked up at him and Bucky smiled softly.

"Can I make you some breakfast, too?"

Natasha nodded a little at Bucky's words, still looking a lost.

"Eggs?" Natasha's brow furrowed. "Ok, no eggs. Toast maybe?" Natasha's face looked sad. "Right, that might be scratchy on your throat."

Bucky thought through all the breakfast foods that Natasha enjoyed most and ones might be easy for her to eat. He figured she would want some comfort food, anything to sooth her.

"Warm oats with milk and berries." Bucky said this with a smile and some confidence in his voice. Natasha's eyes looked a tiny bit brighter and she barely nodded. "Ok, sounds good. Why don't you go over and get cozy on the couch, and I will bring you the tea and breakfast when it's ready?"