Untangling a Memory

...is more than you think.

Natasha woke up in the morning and everything about her just didn't feel right. She sat up from the recliner where she slept, swinging her feet over the side, and starred blankly at the floor. While she was physically there, her thoughts had fled, leaving her feeling confused and empty.

She had her appointment with Shuri later to do the follow-up medical study. It was very early as she got ready, the sun just starting to peak up over the horizon. She took a shower and was forced to spend extra time on each step of her normal routine as she couldn't focus. Natasha kept forgetting whether she had done certain steps and losing track of how much time she had spent lathering the shampoo in her hair or scrubbing the soap on her body.

After her shower, Natasha went to the sink to wash her face. The mirror had fogged with steam and she wiped it with the side of her hand, but the face she saw starring back at her was unrecognizable. She felt detached from this person, from her own form. It was as if she was back in the dream, staring at herself, but outside of her body.

She finished getting ready, washing up, and putting on some loose-fitting, comfortable clothes and her sneakers. Natasha knew Bucky would likely be awake by now and thanked her lucky stars that Shuri had said not to have any food prior to the procedures. Natasha didn't want him to see her like this, when she barely felt like herself. So, she moved quietly and hastily to the elevator to head Shuri's lab, avoiding the possibility of running into him along the way.

"Good morning, Natasha! Did you get a good night of sleep?"

Natasha's brow was furrowed as she tried to clear her mind and find thoughts to respond. The best she could muster was nodding to Shuri.

"Ha ha, looks like you are missing your morning coffee." Shuri smiled broadly, clearly unaware of Natasha's dissociative state.

Shuri gestured for Natasha to follow her to the makeshift medical suite that they had set up for her when she had first arrived back to Wakanda after her injuries. As Natasha reentered the room, she noticed the hospital bed had been replaced by a medical table and was surrounded by various machines and devices. A chill ran down her spine and she rotated her head, cracking her neck, as she tried to shake the feeling.

"There is a medical gown for you to change into and you can put all of your belongings on the chair over there. I will lock them up while we are running all of tests. I'll give you a couple of minutes to change and then come back to go over everything. Sound good?"

Natasha nodded once more and Shuri exited, the glass walls becoming darkly frosted over as the door clicked closed. Natasha changed into the provided black cotton sheath, neatly folded her clothes, and placed them on the chair as instructed. She laid down silently on the table, as automatically as she had so many years ago. Her body seemed to move without her instruction, following it's traumatic muscle memory.

Shuri knocked lightly and she reentered the room.

"You can sit while I go over everything, unless laying is more comfortable."

Natasha furrowed her brow again and looked around before sitting up. She tried to remind herself of her surroundings, taking herself back out of her dream state.

Shuri took her neat pile of clothes, placed them in a plastic bag, and them locked them in a cabinet on the far wall, just as she had promised. Then she took the chair that they had been sitting on and pulled it up next to Natasha, so she was level with where she was sitting.

"Are you feeling ok?" By now, Shuri had noticed Natasha's blank starring as she tracked her around the room.

Natasha wiped her face with her hand and took a deep breath. "Ummm, yea. I just had a... my sleep was strange last night. Go ahead."