Untangling a Memory

Separating dreams and memories

"Apparently, I need to refuse to go on missions to get some honest flirting," Sam joked as they descended in the elevator on the way to the quinjet.

Natasha immediately regretted spending the extra second lingering with Bucky. Though she hadn't paid any notice to it at the time, she now could see how obvious the moment had been and both Sam and Steve had raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"Dream on, Sam." Natasha tried to brush it off with a joke, but it was barely passing. She felt anxious and vulnerable, two emotions she didn't handle well. As soon as the elevator doors opened into the hangar, she was the first one out.

Sam turned to Steve, giving him a look as if to say "did you see what I just saw?" Steve just shrugged his shoulders and they both followed behind Natasha. Steve was definitely sure he had seen the same thing, but wasn't going to gossip about it with Sam. Though he would consider talking to Natasha later, once everyone was a bit more settled on the mission and they all had a bit more distance from the... "moment."

"All our bags and the equipment is already stowed. If you want to bring your bags below, we'll head out." Okoye motioned everyone inside.

Normally Steve and Natasha would have piloted the quinjet, but when T'Challa offered to assist, she quickly accepted him to pilot alongside her. She was excited to hear about the upgrades that Shuri had made to the jet since they had arrived. More than that, she had no interest in sitting next to Steve and potentially exposing herself to deep conversation about what had just happened upstairs. They left the hangar and flew out of Wakanda airspace, Steve and Okoye reviewing plans in the back, while Sam laid on a bench for a nap.

Bucky was still a little in shock at what had just happened. Though it had been a brief moment, it had felt like waves crashing over him. All the good feelings he had started with from the nice dream overnight were rolling back.

It took him a couple of minutes to realize he hadn't moved since the elevator doors had closed. Once he came back into his senses, he walked out onto the terrace and stood with the sun pouring warmly over his skin. He was only waiting for about 10 minutes before seeing the quinjet quietly flying from Wakanda.

Bucky leaned against the railing, considering again what had happened. He had seen a brief glimpse of the same Natasha when she had gently uncovered his metal hand in the gym, but this  time felt more caring, sweeter somehow.

Bucky felt himself getting carried away and put a stop to it. Having such deep thoughts and feelings over such a fleeting moment had left him feeling uncomfortable, nervous. He didn't even know if it was a moment to anyone other than him. So, he made the decision to write it down and then put it aside. Bucky knew if he continued to focus on it, it would grow and he wasn't ready to deal with that.

Bucky grabbed his notebook from his pocket and began writing down the details from the moment and how it had made him feel- Her arms wrapped around his neck, body pulled tight into a hug. Her hair smelling like something... something. "I'm always around. And if you need me to, I can always come back. Just call or text."  Bright, green eyes. 

As he wrote down the last part, Bucky paused and went back to his recent dream notes and found what he was looking for instantly. He had seen those bright, green eyes while he slept, as recently as earlier that day. His eyes looked around, though unfocused on anything in particular, as he tried to access the pictures from the dream in his mind. Yes, they looked exactly like the eyes he remembered.

But this went back to the question that always lingered following his dreams- were these recovered memories or just dreams? Bucky decided it was time to finally visit Shuri again.