Untangling a Memory

Scars

I unpublished this one after having it up briefly. I didn't love how I had the end of it originally written, so the second half of it is the update (if you already read it, you should be able to quickly figure out where I changed it). Sorry for the change here and hope you enjoy! -A

Natasha had noticed that over her time in Wakanda, Bucky seemed to be avoiding showing his scars. Where he had started to slowly reveal some of his emotional scaring, he had actively been hiding the seam where his metal shoulder met his chest. Whether it was running in extreme heat, working out even when the A/C wasn't working in the gym, or swimming in the lakes or the pool, he always wore a shirt that covered his scars. Natasha had even barely glimpsed him one morning in the shadows where he was heading to the kitchen shirtless, clearly thinking she must still be asleep, and upon realizing she was awake, scuttered back to his room. No matter the situation, he hid the scars from sight.

While Natasha had been able to convince him to reveal his metal arm again after his week in hiding and resulting shame about hurting her, she knew that getting him to expose this part of himself would be significantly more difficult. Whether he said it or not, she knew that he still felt like a monster and this was a symbol of him being put back together, as if he was some sort of Frankenstein experiment.

But Natasha saw this as an important step to Bucky accepting himself. HYDRA may have been the ones who attached the metal arm to him, but it didn't define him and it didn't make him a killer. They were the ones who had tried to impose that on him and used him as a tool, metal arm and all.

But his metal arm was just an appendage. He had the control over it, not HYDRA, and he ultimately had the choice to use it for positive means going forward. Most significantly, it didn't make him any more ugly or less human. The scar was just a part of his past. Natasha wanted to help Bucky see himself as whole and she thought this would be a step in the right direction.

Bucky hadn't seen Natasha for most of the morning, which was highly unusual. He hadn't encountered her at breakfast and hadn't heard her in her room. She hadn't been lingering in the common room or around the garden, so now Bucky started to worry that he'd done something to upset her or push her away. It wasn't until he saw her by the pool that he started to relax.

As Natasha saw Bucky approach the pool, she put her plan into motion. Natasha took off her shirt and shorts, revealing a sporty bikini. The top looked much like a running bra, not too exposing, but still showed her stomach. While any swimsuit was going to look magnificent on Natasha's incredible physique, this choice was reasonably modest.

Natasha laid down on a floating lounge in the water and pushed herself off from the side. Bucky, who she knew must have seen her getting ready by the pool, had changed into swim trunks, but was still wearing a t-shirt, as always.

"Should you have that in the water?" Bucky gestured to Natasha's foot.

"They actually make these rafts to float so that you can take them in the pool." Natasha had the same smirk as always, looking very relaxed as she reclined on her raft, dipping her fingers in the water to paddle herself around.

Bucky frowned at her. "You know what I mean. You are going to get your ankle wet."

"Shuri said it's fine. I've been washing it in the shower, so she said as long as I didn't try to swim and you didn't start any horseplay, I'd be alright."

Bucky nodded his head and looked around awkwardly.

"Stop standing there and sit down. I brought you a towel." Natasha gestured to one of the lounge chairs where there were a couple of towels next to her pile of clothes.