Sometimes
Sometimes, I forget how it felt to love
To have my chest twitterpated and my heart racing
pumping blood to deliver the oxytocin
To have his eyes encourage blind faith
To have sleepless nights for his presence seeps deep into my subconsciousness
To tremble anticipating a phone call embedded in lies and treasure his foul words
I forget how it felt to wet my pillow
Have my throat hurt from all the crying
And my voice exhausted by the unfounded hope
To have butterflies inside me
but with you there was no metamorphosis only maggots stealing life from me, so I chose to forget
I pretend to forget how it felt
It's easier believing love is a myth and that my body confused what we had with a despot that doesn't exist
It's easiest to forget all the heart breaks
Every shudder was cruel but at least I had another piece to feed your lil hobby of tearing me apart
you are leech even after you bleed me dry, you still clang onto me
I gave you my all
I miss the pieces I gave you
You never deserved them but I gave and gave and gave
I forget how it felt to love because that would mean opening up
Being vulnerable and naked
I forget because I can't bear the nakedness of trusting
And pitiful hurt
