You Accepted Me!

I'm Beam Fucking Baramee

Forth just nodded as Beam continued to curse his best friends in the world. This had continued for most of the lunch hour and Lam had rolled his eyes at Forth, picked up his meal tray and sat with other people. Forth just knew he'd be teased merciless about having a nagging wife later. Isn't this what love was about?

He sighed and captured on of Beam's waving hands, interrupting his cursing. "Princess, I'm not exactly clear why you're upset? Instead of swearing about them, want to explain it for me? There's only 10 minutes left for lunch."

"Oh fuck," Beam looked down at his tomyum, which he still hadn't eaten. "I'm so sorry, Forth. I really am. I rarely get angry but when I do, I tend to stay angry for a long time and forget everything."

Forth nodded, "So I see, but I don't know why you're angry, Princess. Help a man out." He patted Beam's hand consolingly. 

"Those two fuck ups I call friends," Beam started and then stopped abruptly, staring at his food. 

"Go on... " 

"I'm Beam fucking Baramee," He shouted suddenly, very loudly, "Not some god damn romance counsellor!" He banged his fist against the table, shocking not only Forth but several other tables around them. "Is it my responsibility to fix their fuck ups?"

"Shhh, no, baby, not at all." Forth said, trying hard to grab his wildly waving hands again. "Uhhh, Beam? I don't think you're fit to attend your afternoon class. Come on, let's split." 

He dragged a still cursing Beam up from the table and made a brief stop to talk with Lam. "Hey Dude, can you let the professor know something came up and I had to bounce?" Lam looked at Beam who was red and still spitting fire. 

"Forth," Lam said, holding back laughter, "You owe me big time."

"Don't I know it." muttered Forth, "Don't I know it." Still dragging a reluctant Beam, they reached the motorcycle and left. Beam had now taken up a seriously dangerous habit of knocking his helmet against Forth's. Knock, knock, knock... it was driving him insane so as soon as it was safe, Forth pulled over and dragged Beam into what appeared to be a quiet park.

"Fuck, Beam, that was MY head not your crazy friends you were hitting. I need every brain cell I got." Forth complained. "Now tell me, what the fuck made you mad or I'm gonna kiss you till your eyes roll into your skull."

Beam sighed and sunk to the ground, not caring for once about his clothes. "You know a little about Phana and Wayo. I told you that Wayo sucked up his courage and confessed to Pha our senior year. What I didn't tell you was how Pha turned him down."

Beam drew circles in the playground sand with the tip of finger and glanced at Forth. He looked down and said, "He told Wayo he was straight and could never love a gay freak like him. I'll never forget the look on that little kid's face. He was completely devastated. Heartbroken doesn't even cover it. The problem was Pha only did it because he was terrified of coming out of the closet."

"What in the hell are you taking about?" Forth sunk to his haunches and tipped Beam's face up to look at his eyes. "Are you saying Phana is gay?"

"Has been since we were 13." Beam confirmed. "Pha kissed me to confirm his sexuality. He admitted it back then." Beam sighed. "I don't know why he lied back in high school. Kit and I knew he had a huge crush on little Wayo. Fuck, he watched over him constantly."

"But that day, Pha did the cruelest thing I ever saw. Wayo changed, if he was shy before, he disappeared completely after that. I think I only saw him once, maybe twice afterwards and he always ran the other way when he spotted us." Beam looked up at Forth and pushed him to the ground and crawled into his lap. He needed to be held, now. This was hard and it wasn't even his story!

"Shortly after we graduated, Phana changed. I mean, really changed. He didn't talk to anyone, only studied. He had one goal and basketball. He made no new friends, didn't even allow anyone new close. He dropped all close friends except us from High School. Kit and I were really scared and we had good reason to be. Just before we got the results from the entrance exams, Pha tried to commit suicide..." 

Beam's voice faltered and with a deep breath, he carried on. "Kit found him in his garage with the car running. Pha lied and said he was tired and simply fell asleep but the windows were all down, and the garage was sealed up tight with rags pushed under the doors. We kept silent but we nagged him for the truth. It turns out all he wanted was "his Wayo." Pha was drowning in regrets and guilt."

"We fought to keep that stupid smart asshole alive, Forth. Every day for the first year of University, we watched over him. Every day." Beam's voice was so tired. "Regret is a very stupid thing, you know. Don't do something in the first place if you'll regret it. You'd think the dumbass would have learned."

Forth felt his stomach sink with those words. He had a bad feeling even before Beam continued, "Pha physically assaulted Wayo in his dorm room last night when he assisted him with the roses."

Forth squeezed Beam tightly. "Sexually assaulted?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Beam said bluntly. "If you call forcing a younger man to kiss you. Apparently Wayo had clearly said no, and Phana did it anyways. He snooped through Wayo's room."

"What a fucking asshole." Forth paused and spoke up, "Do you want me to beat him up?"

Beam gave a dry chuckle at that. "What? Are you going to beat the hell out of your junior as well?"

"Pardon me?" Forth said, stumped. What junior?

"You do remember Kit, don't you? There are two stupid idiots in my life!" Beam snorted. "Let me tell you all about Kit..."

"Oh god, Beam. I don't think I'm ready for this!" Forth cried out.

"Trust me, Forth, you're going to thank our idiot friends after this one!" Beam chuckled evilly.