Unspoken Past (Completed)

Her Name Embarked On His Heart

Sid got up to find the bed next to him empty. Sana has gone. He had felt so complete with her in his arms. He had stroked her hair and she had fallen asleep. But he had not. He so wanted to take her then and there, ripping her clothes off and inserting himself inside her. He has wanted to thrust it so hard that she call out his name aloud. He had gone hard. It took a ton of self- control to not wake her up and do what he so desperately wanted to do.
And now she has gone leaving his bed empty and cold. He got up took a shower changed and went down. All were busy today. They were to leave for Udaipur next day. The flight was early next morning. Sid had to finish his packing too. But he was not in mood. Will do it at night, he thought. Sana was not to be seen. Pari passed him.
Pari: Kya dund rahe ho bhai??
Sid: Kuch nhi. Aise he.
Pari: Bhai Adi aa raha hai abhi aadhe gante me. Vo meri saas ne kuch bhejna tha, vo lekar.
Sid: Ha to tu hai na usse entertain karne ke leye. Aaj kal vo muje bahot zyaada irritate karne laga hai.
Pari: Galat baat bhai. Vaise vo jo bolta hai na, vo sahi hai??
Sid: Nahi Vo mere aur sana ke baare me bilkul sahi nhi hai.
Pari: Accha??
Sid: Accha kya?? Jaa apna kaam kar. Dono ne milkar dimag kharab kiya hai.
Pari: Thek hai bhai jaati hu. Vaise jo aap dund rahe hai, vo garden me hai.
Pari left laughing. Sid was irritated by this duo. But now he wanted to see his Sana's beautiful face. He walked towards the garden and went and sat next to her. She looked at him and gave a sad smile.
Sid: Kya hua??
Sana: Siddharth muje tuje kuch dikhana hai
Sid: Kya??
Sana: Chal mere sath.
She held his hand and took him to the far corner of the garden. There was an Ashoka tree just near the wall where the garden ended. She took him closer to the tree and showed him something. To his horror, there was a heart embarked on that tree and below it, was written "Sana loves Siddharth". Sid stood there stunned. He could not remove his eyes from what was in front of him.
Sana: Yeh yaha pichle nine years se hai. Maine apne pagalpan aur bachpane me yeh yaha banaya tha. Aaj achanak yaad aaya to dekhne chali aayi. Thodi dul the uspe. Abhi saaf kiya.
Sid looked at Sana. Tears started forming at the back of his eyes. His legs started trembling. He went and sat on the stone near the tree. His heart was beating faster. This epitome of their love was here for nine years and he never knew about it. He brushed his hair and face with his hand. Sana came and sat next to him.
Sana: Mera ek kaam karega Siddharth??
Sid was not able to reply. His throat felt choked.
Sana: Mere jaane ke baad, jab tu wapas aaye to isse mita dena.
Sid: Nahi rehne de.
Sana: Nahi please mitha de. Mai to ab yaha wapas kabhi nhi aaungi iske baad. Agar kabhi teri shaadi ho gayi to teri wife ya bacche dekhe... Accha nhi lagega.
Sid looked intently at Sana.
Sid: Mai kabhi shaadi nhi karunga Sana.
Sana: Kyu?? Kyu nhi karega??
Sid: Kyuke muje nhi karni. Har baat ke wajah nhi hoti.
Sana: Wajah to hoti hai, par hum batana nhi chahte, vo alag baat hai.
Sid: Galat sooch rahi hai tu.
Sana: Muje to shaadi karni hai, kyuki muje bacche chahiye. Mere bacche.
    The thought of Sana being someone else's, boiled his blood. And she bearing someone else child made him stand up in a flash. He pulled her up to him and smashed his lips to hers. He took her lower lip between his teeth and bit her. As if punishing her for having a thought of marrying someone else and bearing his child. A soft moan escaped from her throat. He realised what he was doing removed his lips from hers, took a step back.
Sid: I'm sorry....
He turned and walked back to his room.
There was a knock and Adi entered the room. Sid was standing in front of his cupboard. Trying very hard to distract himself from what just happened in the garden. He had kissed her with so much intensity that he had to come and take a cold shower to calm his hard self. He had to finish his packing and then take Maa and Chachi to Adi's place. They had some things to discuss before leaving tomorrow.
Adi: Kya kar raha hai??
Sid: Tuje kuch dusra kaam nhi hai kya be?? Jab dekho tab hamare ghar muh utha ke chala aata hai??
Adi: Sharam kar saale. Tera hone wala jija hu. Thodi to izzat karna seekh meri.
Sid: Izzat?? Kis khushi me?? Tu badkismati se pehle mera dost hai. Fir jija. Isleye izzat vizzat mat mang mere se.
Adi: Kamina hai tu. Vaise kya chal raha hai tera aur Sana ka??
Sid: Uth.
Adi: Kya??
Sid: Uth aur dafa ho yaha se. Jab dekho dimag kharaab karne aa jaata hai.
Adi: Thek hai, thek hai jaa raha hu. Dekh lunga tuje mai.
Sid: Ha dekh lena.
    Adi left the room and Sid smiled. He loved Adi too much. Adi is the other part of him. Though Sid cannot deny that talking to Adi always raises his spirit.
    Reet had called Sana to her room. Reet, Maa and Sana had done all the packing according to the list. It took them almost two hours to finish it.
Maa: Sana ne bahot acche se sab packing karvai, Reet. Kitna saare kaam ab ho gaya aise lag raha hai.
Reet: Ha didi. Kuch chut to nhi gaya na??
Maa: Reet tu har cheez ka itna tension kyu leti hai?? Ab agar chutt gaya, to chutt gaya. Vaha se le lenge.
Sana: Aani hum kitne bhi koshish kare, koi na koi cheez to miss hone he wali hai. Aap thoda relax karo??
Maa: Reet, Siddharth ko bola tha na hame Adi ke ghar jaana hai??
Reet: Ha bol diya.
    Sid at that moment came and stood in the doorway. He looked at Sana, their eyes met and he looked away.
Sid: Maa, aapne Ruhi se baat ki?? Abhi bhi vo vaha corner me kisi se mobile pe baat kar rahi hai. Muje yeh sab accha nhi lagta aap samja do.
Reet: Siddharth abhi tu he bol usse. Apne tarike se.
Maa: Nahi Reet abhi nhi. Yeh shaadi ke gadbad khatam ho jaaye, mai baat karti hu. Yeh usse gusse me kuch bol dega, bacche ka saara mood kharaab ho jaayega.
Sid: Thek hai fir aap samjha do. Chale ab.
Sana saw that he was avoiding her eyes.
Sana: Maa mai bhi chal rahi hu aapke sath.
He looked at her and she shifted her gaze to Maa.
Maa: Ha ha chal.
    She had sat with Reet in the back seat. Maa was in the front with Sid. Sid drove towards Adi's bunglow in Juhu. He looked through the mirror to see Sana watching him too. Their eyes met for a few moments and then he shifted his to the road. Reet and Maa were discussing something. But Sana's attention was on the man who had kissed her so passionately few hours ago. She had always dreamt of this. She had so wanted him to kiss her in this manner for past nine years. She may deny it, but had yearn for it at so many lonely nights. She wanted more. She wanted him. And she will have him. She knew he was hers for only these few days. But she wants him to be his first. And she will see to it that she gets it. In Udaipur. She was still staring at him, when Sid stopped the car inside Adi's bungalow.
    He got down and walked ahead of them. He didn't have the energy to talk to her. Their name on that tree and that kiss had both stunned him. Adi's parents, his uncle and aunt along with aahaan welcomed them. They all were having tea and chatting.
Aahaan: Aunty sangeet me mera aur Sana ka ek song to hona he chahiye. Mai aur Sana prepare kar lenge. Thek hai na Sana??
     Sana smiled and nodded. She saw Sid looking at Aahaan with dangerous eyes.
Adi's dad: Ha ha kyu nhi. Do do singer hai ab to ghar me.
    Sid got up from his seat.
Sid: Mai Adi se milke aata hu.
     He went to Adi's room, knocked and pushed the door open. Adi had a bag on the bed and some clothes in his hand.
Adi: Oho Saale saab aao aao. Aapko yaad nhi hoga to aap ne muje thodi der pehle apne kamre se nikaala tha.
    Sid sat on the couch.
Sid: Shut up Adi.
     Adi sat on the edge of the bed facing Sid.
Adi: Kya chal raha hai batayega??
Sid: Usne muje yeh shaadi ke kuch din uska hone ko kaha.
Adi: Kya matlab?? Ek minute, ek minute.Tuje pata hai tu kya bol raha hai.?? Tu pagal hai?? Aur uske baad?? Tuje pata hai, vo already tujhse bahot hurt ho chuki hai. Tu kar kya raha hai yaar??
Sid: To fir kya mai usse na bolta??
Adi: Of course na bolta. Kyuki uske baad tum dono ka jo haal hoga, vo sooch kar he muje dar lag raha hai.
Sid: Adi mai bhi jeena chahta hu yaar yeh din, uske sath. Muje bhi vo chahiye. Aur vaise bhi kya nau saal pehle maine uski separation bardaasht nhi ke kya?? To fir se kar lunga.
Adi: I think you both have gone crazy. Yeh itna aasaan nhi hai bhai mere.
Sid: Mai jaanta hu. Par mai usse na nhi bolunga. Kyuki mai yaha thoda selfish ban raha hu. Aur fir tu hai na muje sambhal ne.
Adi: Aur uske baad tu usse aur yeh sab bhul paayega??
Sid: Vo... Mai.... Koshish...
Adi: Chod yaar, kaha to tujse jaa nahi raha hai, koshish kya khaak karega.
    Sid looked at Adi. He was right. But there was no going back now. He will give whatever she wants from him and take whatever his heart wants. And his heart is wanting much much more.
    There was a knock on the door and he looked up to see Sana standing in the doorway.
Adi: Hi Sana. Aao ander aao. The room is a mess.
Sana: Nahi, nahi it's ok jiju. Mai siddharth ko bulane aayi thi. Siddharth Maa bula rahi hai.
    Sid nodded and got up. He walked towards her, not looking up at her. They drove home. Sid went to his room. Sana came behind him and knocked just as he had entered the room. He looked behind and saw Sana. She walked in and stood in front of him with hands folded to the chest.
Sid: Kya??
Sana: Kuch nhi. Tu bata??
Sid: Tu kya bol rahi hai mujhe samjh nhi aa raha hai.
Sana: Accha??
Sid: Sana tu kya sunna chahti hai.
Sana: Jo tere mann me hai.
    Sid laughed out loud.
Sid: Mere mann me ek bahot bada tufaan chal raha hai Sana. Vo jo ped pe tune muje dekhaaya, vo nau saal se vaha hai. Aur mujhe pata nhi hai. Mai tuje chuna chahta hu, kiss karna chahta hu aur bahot kuch.... Par muje dar lagta hai yaar. Mai iss saare process me hum dono ko barbaad na kar du. Aur yeh sab ke baad, shaadi ke baad, pata nhi kya hone wala hai.
Sana: Siddharth, kya hum aage ke sooch kar aaj ke khushiya barbaad nhi kar rahe hai?? Aaj me jeete hai na. Please. Mat kar aise. Mat dur kar muje apne aap se. Please. Please.
    He saw her face. They was so much innocence and so much love for him. It shook him to the core. He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. Her name was embarked on his heart as it was on that tree. And it will not be erased, not from his heart nor from that tree. And that was for sure.