Afraid To Lose.

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Sheetal was happy with what she has done. Sana gathered herself as soon as she saw that expression on Sheetal's face. She gave a loud laugh. Sheetal's expression changed to confusion. Sana walked closer to her and stood right in front of her, her hands folded to her chest, head held high, looking directly into Sheetal's eyes.
Sana: To?? To kya hua mila to?? Are mera pati hai he aisa ke tum jaisi makkhiya uske aas pass bhinn bhinayege. Mai na mera Siddharth pe khud se bhi zyaada bharosa karti hu. Tuj jaisi to uske life me bahot aayi aur bahot gayi. Par Mai pichle kahi saalo se hu aur agle kahi janmo tak rahungi. Aur ha yeh paitre tum jaisi ladkiya aazma te he rahegi. Par mujhe koi farak nhi padta. Kyuki vo mera hai. Aur sirf mera hai. Tum jaiso ko sirf dosti mil sakti hai aur vo bhi tumko hazam nhi hoti, par mujhse to vo pyaar karta hai. Beinteha pyar.
Sheetal: You...
Sana: Ek kadam bhi aage badane se pehle vo tappad yaad karna jo tune mujse khaya tha. Teri firse beizzati hogi to mujhe accha nhi lagega.
Sheetal took a step back. Sana turned and left the lobby, her head held high. She was so proud of herself at that moment. She had done the right thing. Whatever she had said to sheetal was right. She really have full trust in Siddharth. She knew he loves her a lot. Yes. He had not told her that he met Sheetal that night. But it's ok. He must be having his reasons. She will not ask him. But she was confident he will tell her eventually. Sana came home. She ate her food with Maa and Aani.
Maa: Sana tu thek hai?? Bahot thaki hue lag rahi hai.
Sana: Ha Maa. Thakaan lag rahi hai.
Reet: Thek hai tujhe mai juice banati hu. Tu pikar so jaa.
Sana: Aani maine abhi khaana khaaya na??
Reet: Par tujhe thakaan ho rahi hai na??
Sana: Aani thakaan ho rahi hai bhuk nhi lagi hai.
Reet: Ha to kya hua??
Sana: Aani mai na Pari ko bolne wali hu ke tu na  jab pregnant ho na kabhi yaha mat aana. Teri mummy tujhe khila khila ke maaregi.
Maa laughed out loud.
Sana: Maa mujhe itna pareshan karti hai to soocho Pari ka kya karegi yeh.
Reet: Pari ko bhi vaise he karungi jaise tuje karti hu.
Sana: Aani humko baccha paida karna hai baby elephant nhi.
Reet: Chup kar. Kuch bhi bolti hai.
Maa: Accha accha tum dono ab behas band karo. Sana beta Tu jaake aaraam kar.
Sana: Ha Thek hai Maa. Maa inko thode din ke keye inke maike bhejo. Meri jaan jhut jaayegi.
They both laughed and Sana went to her room. Being with Maa and Aani has lifted her spirit. She went, changed into something comfortable and lay on the bed. She had decided to not dwell on what happened today. She will try to not give that episode with Sheetal too much importance nor ask Sid about it.
Sana woke up to the knocking of the door. It was Reet. She entered in. Sana got up and sat.
Reet: Tu itne der soyi rahi to mai dekh ne aa gayi. Thek hai??
Sana: Kitne baj rahe hai Aani.
Reet: Sham ke sath baje hai beta.
Sana: Kya?? Itni der soyi mai??
Reet: Hmmm. Koi baat nhi. Tu niche aaja. Mai chai banati hu tere leye.
Sana: Thek hai.
Reet got up to go, but Sana held her hand.
Sana: Aani thank you mera itne acche se khayal rakhne ke leye.
Reet sat back , took Sana by her shoulder.
Reet: Maa ko thank you bolti hai?? Ek thappad lagaungi.
Sana hugged her and started crying. Reet stroked her back. She then looked at Sana.
Reet: Kya hua beta. Tu ro kyu rahi hai.
Sana: Mujhe uski yaad aa rahi hai.
Reet: Kiski??
Sana: Aani aap jaao chai banao.
Reet: Bol na kiski??
Sana: Aapke us naalayak bete ke.
Reet: Khabardaar mere bete ko naalayak kaha. Bahot laayak beta hai hamara.
Sana: Hmmm.
Reet: Chal ab tu aasu poch. Aa jaayega ab jaldi vo. Aata to hai bhaga bhaga tere paas har weekend pe.
Sana smiled shyly.
Reet: Chal neeche aa chai pete hai.
Sana got fresh and went down. Aani was right. He has come on every weekend. He works the whole day, but never sleeps without talking to her. He messages her all the time asking  about her breakfast, lunch, dinner. He inquires everyday whether she drank milk or not. It irritates her at times and he knows it, but he still does it. This is how much he loves her. So she is not at all going to get affected by some random chick. She had finished her tea and was watching a movie with Viju and Ruhi, when her mobile buzzed. It was Friday today. Sid will be coming tomorrow. It was him. It surprised Sana that he has called her at this time.
Sana: Hello??
Sid: Hi baby. Kya kar rahi hai??
Sana: Kuch nhi. Aise he mai, Viju aur Ruhi movie dekh rahi hai.
Sid: Zarur vo Viju tujhe koi horror movie dekha raha hoga. Raat me dar jaayegi tu sweetheart.
Sana: Nahi Siddharth hum kuch comedy dekh rahe hai. Tu bata. Tune iss time kaise call kiya??
Sid: Vo baby....
Sana: Rukh Siddharth mujhe thek se sunai nhi de raha. Mai terrace pe jaati hu.
She moved to the terrace.
Sana: Ha ab bol.
Sid: Sana Vo...
Sana: Kya hua Siddharth??
Sid: Sana yeh weekend mai nhi aa sakunga darling.
Sana: Nahi Siddharth, tu aise nhi kar sakta
Sid: Baby sun na meri baat.
Sana: Siddharth mai pura week ek ek din gin ke nikalti hu. Ke tu weekend pe aane wala hai.
Sid: Mai jaanta hu meri jaan. Tujhe kya lagta hai, mai nhi miss karta tujhe??
Sana: Mujhe nhi pata??
Sid: Baby aise mat kar yaar. Kuch recording issues hue hai. Isleye. Nahi to tu jaanti hai, mai bhag ke aata hu mere jaan ke paas.
Sana: Ab iska matlab tu next Saturday aayega na??
Sid: Ha baby.
Sana: Bahot miss kar rahi hu mai tujhe.
Sid: Mai bhi.
Sid was quite.
Sana: Tu ro raha hai??
Sid: Nahi.
Sana: Mujhe pata hai tu ro raha hai.
Sid: Nahi pagal. Chal baby mai raat me baat karta hu tere se.
He disconnected the call. Sana had tears in her eyes. She wiped it. He got emotional because she had gone weak. She will be careful when he calls at night. She decided. Sana had her food around eight thirty. She was feeling weak and tired today. She came to the room. Her mobile rang. It was Sid.
Sid: Tu thek hai??
Sana: Ha baby mai thek hu. Tu tension mat le. Tu apna kaam kar. Par Next week aana hai ha pakka.
Sid: Pakka meri jaan. Kya kar rahi the??
Sana: Abhi dinner kiya. Just room me aayi hu.
Sid: Vitamins liye??
Sana: Siddharth maine kaha abhi room me aayi hu. To abhi lungi na.
Sid: Thek hai le. Mai abhi hotel jaa raha hu. Tujhe baad me call karta hu.
Sana: Thek hai baby. Bye.
Sid: Bye.
    Sana had her medicine. Tiredness took over her, she lay on the bed and fell asleep. And she saw that dream again.
     Sid came to the hotel room. His room was big and lavish. The view through the balcony was beautiful. But nothing attracts him anymore. The only thing he wants is his love. She was upset earlier. But had shown a brave front just because he had fallen weak. He knew how scared she was that he may leave her. He tries to make her see how much he loves her. But something is still not right. He had told her n number of times that he will never leave her, but the fear is still there. He had given her the pain of rejection at a very young age and so she doesn't trust him. He picked up his mobile and called her number. It rang and rang. She didn't pick it up. She must be down sitting with everyone, he thought. He will have his dinner and call her later.
     It was ten thirty by the time he entered his room. He had forgot his mobile in the room when he had left for dinner. He came back late as it was one of the team members birthday. He could not just leave the dinning area. He picked up his mobile from the bed to find eleven missed call from Sana. Sid called back immediately.
Sid: Sana kya hua??
Sana: Siddharth to kaha tha?? Call kyu nhi utha raha tha??
     He could hear fear in her voice. He panicked. What has happened. Is she alright?? Is everyone alright??
Sid: Baby Mai dinner karne gaya tha. Tu thek hai?? Ghar me sab??
Sana: Tera mobile kaha tha??
Sid: Baby room me bhul gaya tha. Par hua kya hai??
Sana: Mujhe laga tujhe kuch ho gaya hai. Tu kahi chala gaya hai. Mai bahot darr gayi the.
Sid: Baby yeh kya pagal pan hai. Mai kaha jaaunga yaar. Tu itna kyu tension leti hai.
Sana: Sorry. Tujhe pareshaan kiya. Ab nhi karungi. I'm sorry tu aaraam kar.
Sid: Par sweetheart....
     Sana disconnected the call. Sid was irritated with her. He was right. Her insecurity is growing day by day. She is acting like a phycho. She scolded herself. It was just a dream. Get over with it. You have started nagging nowadays Sana. Stop it. She told herself. Her mobile started ringing. It was Sid. She composed herself and spoke in a confident voice.
Sana: Hello??
Sid: Kya hua hai meri jaan.
Sana: Kuch bhi to nhi. Sab thek hai.
Sid: Nahi sab thek nhi hai. Tu jhut bol rahi hai.
Sana: Sorry tujhe irritate karne ke leye baby. Par mai thek hu.
Sid: Mai irritate nhi hua tha sweetheart. Bas tension me aa gaya, teri dari hue aawaaz sun ke.
Sana: Siddharth mai shikayat nhi kar rahi hu. Aur sab thek hai. Bas tera call nhi laga to Mai pareshaan ho gya.
Sid: Nahi tu ab bhi jhut bol rahi hai. Mera call to bahot baar nhi lagta, ya mai nhi uthata. Tu aise continuously mujhe kabhi call nhi karti. Baat kuch aur hai. Tujhe meri kasam bata. Please.
Sana: Siddharth maine vo sapna firse dekha.

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