𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 || 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘞𝘪𝘥𝘰𝘸 (2) ✓

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

Revna's POV:

After the fight I had with Natalia, I wasn't sure where to go. I didn't want to bother the King about another place to sleep, and I didn't really want to see Bucky right now. I wanted to be alone but at the same time I wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not. I sighed loudly, running my fingers through my hair. I wanted a drink, but I knew that even the strongest alcohol wouldn't get me drunk. I groaned, guilt settling in my stomach as a wave of panic washed over me. The more panicked I had become, the more angrier I seemed to be getting.

"Revna." Peter whispered, catching me off guard as he kneeled in front of me.

I zoned back in, looking both ways to see that I was sitting against the ground, my back up against the wall while I gripped my human wrist in my metal arm, so hard that a dark bruise had formed when I let go.

"You're okay. Come on, I snuck some cheesecake into my room." Peter grinned, eyes shining mischievously, "Don't tell anyone."

"Uh, I won't." I cleared my throat, standing to my feet and entering Peter's room. Awkwardly I stuffed my hands in my pockets while rocking on my feet. Peter handed me a slice of cheesecake and I took it awkwardly, taking a small bite while the boy plopped down on the bed and sat criss cross.

"So, your metal arm. What do you hate about it?" He asked, wiping his mouth with his sweatshirt sleeve.

"Uh, I don't know. It's clunky I guess. I like the color, the all black suits me." I shrugged, noticing him pull out a pad and pencil, taking notes.

"Any features you would like?" Peter asked, tapping the pencil against his mouth.

I shook my head, "Nothing I can think of at the moment. But I'll let you know."

Peter nodded, making a few other notes before closing his notebook and putting the pencil behind his ear.

"Do you like the Raven insignia, or do you want a Black Widow symbol?" Peter teased and I sucked in a breath, dropping the cheesecake on the floor as I quickly rushed out of the room, trying to take deep breaths but I couldn't. My body wasn't functioning.

"Revna, Revna! It's okay! You're okay!" Bucky grabbed my wrists and pinned me to the wall. I writhed in his hold.

"She's my mission. She's my mission." I whimpered weakly.

"No, no she's not. Revna, you're okay. You're okay." Bucky strained, gripping my wrists a little tighter.

I sucked in a breath, "My name is Revna. I'm from Russia. I like.. I love..."

My breathing turned into shaky as I began to cry, falling into Bucky's chest, "I fucked up, Buck. I-I can't think. I-I-"

"It's alright, doll." Bucky shushed, rubbing my back, "They're going to get the tech out of your head, you're going to be alright. I promise. Things are going to get better."

I nodded, my cries stopping and my entire body just felt numb. Bucky held me a few moments longer and led me to his room, telling me that I could have the bed and he would sleep on the floor.

"Bucky." I called softly.

"Yeah?"

"Can you just... hold me?"

I saw him sit up from the floor, getting into the bed and pulling me close to his side without saying anything.

"I freaked out today because Peter said one of my trigger words. Well, he said half of it. But it wasn't in Russian. He said it and I heard it in Russian. I don't want it to be like that."

"It was like that for me for a while." Bucky hummed.

"Is it still like that?" I asked softly.

"No." Barnes shook his head.

-

It was early in the morning when Bucky nudged me awake, handing me some hot tea and a slice of toast. His hair was pulled back into a bun and his smile peaked out from behind his scruff. I thanked him and him and I shared breakfast, sitting in silence and soon enough, he was leading me towards a private room.

"Hello, Revna." TChalla smiled, "How did you sleep?"

"Well. Thank you. And thank you again for this."

TChalla smiled, clearing his throat as he gestured towards a young woman, "This is my sister, Shuri. She is the one who will be looking inside your head, taking out the tech. You're in good hands."

I nodded, releasing a breath as my stomach tightened into a knot. I blew out a few breaths when I felt a hand in my own, the person squeezing softly. I looked down to see Natalia, her eyes washed over with exhaustion and a little puffy. She gave me a small smile, leaning up and kissing my cheek, "You're gonna be okay. I promise. I'll be here the entire time."

I nodded, feeling slightly better that I had gotten to see her before they put me under and went inside my head. Natalia kissed my cheek once more before the doctors prepped me to go under.

Natasha's POV:

"Give her a chance." Bucky said, snapping me out of my daze while I watched Revna sleep. The procedure went well and the HYDRA tech was out of her head for good. That had been at least two or so hours ago now, and now we were just waiting for Revna to walk up to tell her the good news.

"I didn't know about you and you didn't know about me. But it's not Revna's fault. She was lonely when she was with me, it was strictly just to make each other less lonely. Nothing else."

"She mentioned you were both alone. It just hurts is all. She's the love of my life and I feel like she's slipping through my fingers. I don't want to lose her again." I cleared my throat, getting a little choked up at the end.

"If you don't talk to her, you will lose her. Maybe a part of me does have feelings for Revna, but she doesn't have any for me. All the feelings she does have are for you." Bucky smiled fondly.

"I don't want to lose her, I just want what's best for her. She knew you at a different time in her life, maybe you really would be better for her."

The soldier shook his head, "I don't know her how you know her. Revna felt alone because she didn't have you, the one she grew attached too. I was only there to make her feel something."

"What if she was just lonely with me, like she was with you. She just used me to make herself feel better." I scoffed bitterly.

"She started to remember you. At times she would remember who you were in different ways. I didn't realize it until now that she was talking about you. She wouldn't remember me, Natalia."

I chuckled, nudging him softly, "And who wouldn't remember you, Sargent Barnes? Steve will be happy to know you're alive and well. You should come back with us."
Bucky grinned, "I will, only if you talk to Revna. I want to see her smile again."

"Deal."