Gaining Innocence

Changes (CH:33)

CHAPTER 33:

In which Herkus tries to do something good, but problems follow; Hannibal, fondly exasperated at being blocked by his own son and surprises him with even good news; and Will desperately tries to convince himself that Hannibal is just a considerate friend, or not.

"I can't stop thinking about when my wife is going to die. I look at her side of the bed and think: Is she going to die there? Am I going to be with her? I can't stop thinking about that. Do you understand? No I can stop. "

"You fear the loss of your wife."

"Yes." Jack Crawford took a deep breath, barely suppressing the pain that sheathed in his tone that had always been firm and firm. His voice trembled at the end, an involuntary snorting sound, as the finest strand of composure finally snapped as he spoke next, "And I'm thinking of other losses as well."

Hannibal set his coat on one end of the couch and sat next to Jack, joining him in the melancholy atmosphere that had arisen since he had seen the man sitting in the waiting room.

"What other losses do you fear?" The BAU Chief looked away, the heavy sigh escaping his lips as if the consultation had tortured his mind.

Maybe it was.

So used that the man was to solve problems using his hands and those of his assistants, but his experience in catching criminals was no more useful than his safe words to his wife; an effort that Bella Crawford had considered foolish. A bit reassuring. Inadequate comfort, but not useless. She had never loved her husband too much to regard him as anything else, but Jack had shown her the same inclination. Their relationship was as solid as it was fragile.

"Jack, you can't save her. She won't let you. Her cancer won't let you."

They were statements that Jack knew to be true, but that he wanted to fight anyway, even if he was already lost long before he entered the arena. Sometimes it needed to be talked about, it needed to be heard; giving life to words of heartbreaking truth. Hannibal sympathized with his plight, indeed, but he couldn't deny that there was a certain kind of pleasure in witnessing a seemingly resilient man, one who had so much confidence in every fiber of his being, to be reduced to silent stillness.

"Who else could you not save?" Hannibal continued to watch the dejected man. "Graham?"

"Will Graham is not dead."

"But his mental state is deteriorating faster than you initially expected."

"Did he come to you? Did he tell you what he saw in high school?"

"He did. He was confused," Hannibal said and offered nothing more.

"I've seen him confused before. I've seen him upset. I've never seen him so scared," Jack confessed, remnants of pain making his voice resemble a deep civilian who had never anticipated facing violence in their lives. It was not violence he faced; a man like Jack Crawford was well equipped for a formidable amount of violence because he was an integral part of the world in which he moved. Instead, it was simple regret, the possibility that he would pull a man out of his sanity due to his action. Or undo

Hannibal let the silence grow between them, long enough for the other's mind to wander into the realm of possibility, provoking thoughts he had wanted to avoid.

Jack Crawford's anguished attention tempted Hannibal to assiduously nurture her. Letting it grow would be an effortless feat. Giving him a light of hope, a way out, where the roads before man had been filled with nothing but thorny situations and concerns. And he would come after him, Hannibal was sure of it, as long as there was a doubt deep inside him. By nature, the human heart yearned for more than it could not have. Jack had recognized Miriam Lass's disappearance as a failure of his past, after all, he was half buried, and he longed to find her body. I longed to give him the rest and peace he deserved.