Second Chances [Lesbian]

Chapter 8

I took my time getting ready and was turning in front of my full-length mirror. I had changed my outfit a few times trying to decide between casual and dressy. Skinny black pants were topped with a slouchy, drop-shoulder sweater. Fashion had never been my strong suit, but I had spent a lot of time in college with a roommate who lived for it. She always had fashion magazines everywhere in our dorm room and spent large parts of our weekends changing outfits a million times getting ready for parties. Though I didn't speak to her much and I was never invited to those parties, I watched and admired her from afar, secretly reading and browsing the magazines while she was gone. I wasn't exactly sure how much that actually helped. Especially because according to Eliza, most of the time I was "sooooo embarrassing". This wasn't my usual "mom" uniform or my "photographer attire", so I hoped it would pass for stylish, not-trying-too-hard but single-mom-in-her-thirties-trying-to-look-good.

That is asking a LOT of an outfit, lady.

I studied my reflection one more time before leaving. If I thought about it anymore, I'd throw everything off and put my leggings and sweatshirt back on. I thought about what I was doing. Going on a maybe-date with a beautiful woman who made my insides feel like jello. When I most definitely thought I wouldn't date again. When my ex-wife made my life complicated enough and there was a child involved. Also, there was the part where I wasn't even sure I had it in me to date, let alone be in another relationship. But there was also that feeling. The feeling that started at that cottage. The feeling that only continued to grow each day and refused to be ignored.

Maybe I was ridiculous for giving into that feeling. But I also knew I didn't want to spend any more time wondering. I had been uncertain for such a large part of my life. Uncertainty, doubt and self-doubt had been a strong force before, but I wouldn't let it continue to hold me back. My whole body felt like it was buzzing and there was a bounce in my step as I headed towards the door. I grabbed my phone. It was now or never.

On my way

I stopped to pick up a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and followed the directions on my screen. After a few miles, I realized I was driving right into the heart of the city. I frowned and checked again to make sure the address was right.

Hmm, that's definitely right.

I hadn't thought about where she lived. When I'd driven out to her parent's cottage, I had thought maybe she'd have a house out in the country too. Though that wouldn't have been exactly convenient with a job in the city.

It was something I considered after moving out. Though I didn't have to commute for work, I had put a lot of thought into where I wanted to be. I wanted to put distance between myself and Whitney, but didn't want to be too far from Eliza.

Driving into the city was something I didn't like to do often. I easily recalled the last time I made the drive and what resulted in my most recent injury.

When I "arrived at my destination", I looked up to see a tall building that looked intimidating and very modern. Once I was standing in front of it, I felt my nerves kick in. I clutched the bottle of wine tightly and made my way inside, towards the elevators.

I felt like I was completely out of my element. I was so distracted that I almost missed the floor for the unit number she'd given me. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to breathe confidence with each step I took. I finally made it to the right place and knocked.

When she came to the door, she looked comfortable and relaxed. "You're here." She smiled, motioning inside. "Come in."

My eyes went slightly wide. The loft was spacious and beautiful, but the smell coming from the kitchen was enough to make me forget where I was.