Checks & Championships

15.

//Flashback//

Marlana's P.O.V

I was finishing up helping Rachelle move the rest of her things into Austin's apartment, when Rachelle called me over into the kitchen. "Marlana, I need you to quit being stupid." She tells me and I drop my jaw. "What do you mean?" I ask her and she points over to Roman, helping Austin bring in the rest of her stuff. "What? We're all friends." I tell her and she crosses her arms and looks at me. 

"Marlana, a friend, wouldn't cancel his plans to come help another friend to move stuff into that friend's best friend's new apartment." 

"Okay the amount of times you just said friend was creepy." I say and she laughs and looks behind me at the guys again. "Maybe, but he sure does like looking at you." She says and I roll my eyes at her. 

"Okay guys, everything is done." Austin says and Roman walks in behind him. ""Alright well, we will leave you two lovebirds to it." I tell them and Roman leads me out of the apartment, one hand on my lower back and I blush. Maybe Rachelle was right? Maybe Roman did like me? 

"So, what do you want to do now?" Roman asks me once we were driving again. 

"Oh, I figured you were just going to drop me off at the apartment and then be on your way." I told him and he looks over at me, he had his shades on and was in one of his merch tank tops and black joggers. 

"So, you don't want to hang?" He asks and I look at him and shrug, "We can." I tell him and he smiles and turns back to face the road. He turns on the radio and we pull up to his apartment and we walk in and he sets his keys down. 

"So, I heard you and Rachelle wanted to look at some more finishers so I figured we could do that today if you want?" He asks while sorting through his mail. 

"Uh yeah, that'd be great actually!" I say excitedly and make my way over to his couch. We start in with early indie stuff and slowly progress into current things and before I knew it, I had been there for hours. We had somehow made our way into movies and I had leaned into his side. He wrapped his arm around my waist as we sat there in silence as the movie passed from one to the next. Somehow wen ended up with me laying completely on top of him, but he didn't seem to mind. 

His phone started to ring, and he reaches over to the table to grab it and stop the ringing. He reaches up to the lamp to turn it off and pulled a blanket around us. Within moments, he had turned the tv off and he scooted himself further down to put a pillow behind his head. 

I intertwine my legs with his and he rests his chin on the top of my head. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, knowing he was still married, but I couldn't help myself. 

In the middle of the night, I had somehow managed to fall to the inside of the couch, while Roman was near the edge, his head just above mine. All I could think about, was kissing him, but it was wrong. "What's wrong?" I hear Roman ask me and I look up at him. 

"N-nothing, go back to sleep." I tell him and he rests his forehead against mine. His hand goes down mu entire arm, until he reaches my side and leaves it there. I could hear how his heart was hammering against his chest. "You feel it too, don't you?" He asks me and I look up at him, his lips were so close to mine and I wanted nothing but to close the difference between us. "What are you talking about?" I ask him, but look back down.

"I think you know what I'm talking about." He says and I didn't want to get my hopes up. I stay silent except for my heart beating against my chest. He lifts my chin up again and looks at me intently before slowly bending down and pressing his lips to mine. 

At first I was in shock so I didn't respond but then I did, moving my lips along with his. He cradles my face with his left hand. He pulls away and we both try to regain our breathing. "Yeah, you knew." He says and kisses my forehead. "I've been wanting to do that since the moment I saw you." He tells me and goes to kiss me again, but I stop him. "You don't feel the same do you?" He asks, heartbroken. 

"Trust me, it's not that." I say and look down at his exposed chest. "It's the fact that technically you are still married." I tell him and he sighs. I look up at him and he just had a straight face, deep in thought. 

"Marlana, I appreciate what you are doing, but it isn't necessary. We are separated, and we haven't been in love for a long time. I haven't felt this happy in a long time." He says and my heart breaks. I hesitate on if I should kiss him again or not. I wouldn't be leading him on. I feel the same way, I just can't have that reputation. 

I do it anyway, I lean in and press my lips to his, and he responds quickly. I cut it off before it gets too heated. "You kiss me like you want this." He says and I reach my hand up to his face. "I do want this, more than you know, Roman." I tell him and sigh, sitting up and running a hand through my hair. "I'm just worried." I say and he sits up and sits next to me, grabbing my hand. 

"What are you worried about?" He asks me, and looks at me with his big dark eyes. "Well, for starters, you're married. Imagine just the hate from that. Then there's the reputation from dating you, and if I start advancing in my career, people will say it's because of you and I want to get that on my own." I say and stop to take a breath. "I would get more hate out of this then you would." 

"Okay, well, if you put that all aside, and just focus on us, are you still worried?" He asks me and I sit and think about it. "No. You literally help me with anything I need. You've been there for me for a lot of things. I can be myself with you." I admit and he looks down and slides his hand in mine. 

"Okay, how about we take it slow then?" He asks me and I look over at him. I want to say yes, but I can't. "Roman." I say and I can tell he was getting frustrated. "I think we should just be friends for now." I tell him and he clears his throat and nods. 

I stand up and make my way to the door. "No, Marlana, you don't have to leave." He says and shuts the door and I turn around and he's in close proximity again. "I have to." I whisper and he brings his other arm to the other side of the door. His hair had fallen and his beard was as dark as his eyes. He leans in close and rubs his nose against mine, "Okay. If that's what you want." He whispers and I choose the wrong thing and crash my lips to his. 

This decision would eventually cause my heartbreak, but tonight I didn't care. Tonight I was his. He had my heart and I was fucking scared. He pulls away and looks at me and pushes himself from the door and reaches his right hand out to me and I take it and follow him to his bedroom where I fell asleep, listening to the beat of his heart.