Turbulence [H.S. || A.U.]

Chapter 46

Oh, I've been dazed and confused
From the day I met you
Yeah, I lost my head
And I'd do it again

Two and a half months later

It's just now starting to hit me.

I'm going to be a father.

Like, there is going to be a tiny human that is half me running around here in just a few more months. And I'm going to be partly responsible for them.

Harley and I are going to have to teach them how to walk, how to talk, how to ride a bike...fuck potty training will probably be a pain in the ass. But I assume diaper changing is probably worse. Then again, I wouldn't know.

I'm starting to panic about the prospect slightly. I hope we made the right decision about keeping the baby. But I'm sure every first time parent has their doubts about if they really are ready or even capable of raising a child.

I think my main worry is just hoping that I don't royally fuck them up. Or, what happens if my kid ends up making some big mistakes like I did? I would never want them to go through the stress and pain I had to.

I know I won't be able to protect them from the evils of this world forever; which scares me. And part of me still thinks that I'm part of those evils this world is littered with.

I need to stop thinking like this. What does Harley keep telling me? Think positive thoughts. Say three things you are thankful for when you are feeling overwhelmed or down in attempts to lift your spirits.

"Harley loves me. I'm safe from Niall and the FBI now. I'm alive and healthy." I mutter to myself quietly the first three things that come to my mind.

It does make me feel slightly better. But the idea that I am about to be a father still is slightly freaking me the fuck out.

The fact that Harley will be by my side to raise this baby with me does ease my nerves a bit, though. I already know that she is going to be a fantastic mum. Just watching how she is with Pixie is enough to prove my theory to be true. Also, having two broken arms for a month and a half gave her plenty of practice for caring for someone. I deadass felt like a twenty-five year old baby for that month and a half. Especially when she had to feed and bathe me.

Today we have the ultrasound appointment where we get to find out the gender. Both of us decided that we didn't want to wait until our baby was born to find out. So, we get to find out today.

But what the doctor tells us today doesn't really matter too much. I don't care what my child is, as long as they're healthy. They can decide later down the road what they want to be and I will still love them and treat them the same, no matter what.

I'm sitting on the edge of our bed while I wait for Harley to get out of the shower so we can get going.

Soon enough, I hear the shower water turn off and see Harley walk out of the bathroom. Her hair is wrapped up in a towel and she is just wearing her black bra and underwear. Once she enters our room, she turns to the side and rubs her growing belly with a smile on her face. "We get to see baby fishnet again today." She exclaims before moving to get dressed now.