Alex POV
I was sitting, talking to Christen, Tobin, and Megan when I heard the door open and saw Kelley enter. She took one look at me before she turn and went to join the table with the youngsters.
"What's going on between you and Kelley? You guys haven't spoke since practice yesterday" Megan asked looking at me
"We've spoken"
"Like two words" Tobin said
"We just don't agree on something, she'll get over it" I said looking over a Kelley who was glaring at me
That enough, I thought. I don't need Kelley attitude giving it away.
"Let's go talk" I said looking at her as she slowly followed me outside the room and down the hallway.
"What's your problem?"
"You know what my problem is" Kelley said with attitude
"You aren't still talking about (y/n) are you?" I asked causing Kelley to continue to glare at me as she responded "of course I'm still mad at you for that. You should go see her and say sorry. Let her met the real you, not the scared one. You may never get the chance to after this surgery. I mean it fricking heart surgery, she could died for all we know. And that's how you want to leave things with your daughter? You calling security on her?"
I stare at Kelley for a minute and as I felt all the emotions I've felt that I've pushed away reach me.
"She doesn't need me, she has her mom" I said sadly turning to walk away from her
"That's not what it looked like yesterday. She wanted to meet you. That seems like she wanted you in her life"
"Kelley! Don't you get it! I gave her up! I lost any right I had to be her mom or apart of her life that day." I said as tears reached my eyes that I quickly wiped
"You are the kid's mom?" I heard causing me to quickly turn and see Ash and Ali standing their in shock
"You aren't wrong, you did give up your right to be her mom. You didn't however give up your rights to be a part of her life, especially if she reached out to you" ash said
"I have to fix this" I said
"And we will help you" Ali said
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I ran as fast as I could to through the hospital, looking for (y/n) or her mom. I had to make it to her before her surgery, I had to let her know I was sorry.
I felt my lungs burn as ran, dodging people and things as I went. Ignoring the shouts to slow down or stop running. My only thought was to her reach her.
I round the corner and felt my heart rate increase even more and I felt sick to my stomach at the sight in front of me.
(Y/n) mom was in tears as the doctor held her.
"No, my baby" I hear her cry out repeatedly as the doctor continued to comfortable her.
I felt my throat tighten, as the realization of this means hit me. I'm too late. She already in surgery and she didn't make it. I'll never get to talk to her, build a relationship with her, see her grow up
The first sob ripped through my body as I fell to the ground with tears starting to fall down my face.
"I didn't make" I sobbed out as I felt someone pull me them as I felt there tears fall on to my shoulder
"I'm too late" I continue turning to look at who is holding them. I looked to see Kelley holding me as tears feel down her face as she looked at me.
"Alex" I heard Allie say as she gentle help me to my feet as (y/n) mom made her way to us with tears streaming down her face
She looked at me with a look of disgust.
"Now you decide to show up. Once she dead. You couldn't have figured this out yesterday after you called security on her or this morning before she went into surgery. To think that when I signed her adoption papers and made the amendment that if someday you realized your mistake of giving up a wonderful daughter. That I would give her back. You parents thought for sure that I would have her two years max. That you would come back for your daughter. How wrong we were." She said said causing more tears to come to my eyes as she put reality in to perspective for me.
I had know I could take her back, but I never did. I selfishly put soccer over my daughter. I put my life before my daughters.
"You know, she went into that surgery thinking you didn't love her. That's she was a mistake and should have never been born. I worked years to get those thoughts out of her head when she was younger and it took one conversation with you to pull them all back. I held her as she cried over it last night. A night that should have been calm and maybe full of nerves for her surgery today. You did that Alex and now you have to live with that for the rest of your life" she said as more tears fell down my face as angry rose in me as she walked away with the doctor
Angry at all my decisions, angry for making a young girl feel like a mistake, angry for never realizing what I gave up.
"Alex" Kelley said gently and I knew she was worried for my reaction
"We should go" Tobin said moving slowly to help guide me out but as soon as her and Kelley touched me, all my angry exploded
"DONT" I yelled shoving there hands away
"I fucked up" I said angrily pushing them away I went to move away from them, not sure to where I was heading
"I fucked when I gave her up! I continued to fuck over the years but not getting her back. I fucked up by calling security on her." I said angrily at them as I saw everyone worried faces, most of them having tears coming down there faces
"I managed to fuck up by not getting her in enough time to tell her I've always loved her. That my biggest regret was never getting her back. Now it's to late" I mumbled as all the anger left me and numbing feeling took over my body.
I would never forgive myself for this.
