She Was Like a Bright Light

Shaun

I'm letting my heart heal from my guilt. Viv's words was like a light for me. I feel much more stronger now as she holds my waist and falls asleep on my chest. I run my fingers through her soft hair and look on my other side where I'm holding Hazel, too. I hold both of them close. No one is going to hurt them again.

Although, one night I got up to get some water. As I went back, I saw that Viv had Hazel in her arms as they both peacefully slept. I sat on a small chair by the bed and watched them sleep. My smile disappeared as my eyes landed on Hazel's small hands. They still had bruises. Her wrist had hints of cuts and my heart shrunk. Tears quietly fell and I wiped them quickly. I tried my best to quietly sniffle and cry, but Vivica woke up. She furrowed her brows at first, but then she saw my tears and her expression softened.

"Baby. What's wrong?"

I shook my head at her and held onto Hazel's tiny hand. So gentle and so soft. "She's been hurt. She must've been so scared...."

"Shaun," Viv gently said. "She's okay. She's not hurting anymore because she has you now. Get back in bed, baby." I quietly did what she asked me to do, but my tears still fell on her shoulder as I wrapped my arms around them. She felt them fall, too, and she quietly said, "Do you need forgiveness?"

I stood silent at this question. So I quietly said, "I'm sorry for everything, Viv--"

"I forgive you," she whispered back. I tightened my hold around her and whispered, "I'm sorry...."

"I forgive you," she said back to me again. And we did this until we both fell back asleep.

I feel much better now after I had a conversation with my daughter. She was coloring the book Kitty had bought for her and I quietly sat by her to color with her. I watched as she concentrated so much to get the right colors. I chuckled at the sound of her putting down a crayon and going on to the next one. Viv was at a medical appointment to check up on her one more time, and see how her bruises were doing.

At one point, we finished and Hazel smiled widely. "Do you like it?" she asked me.

I smiled at her and nodded. "Everything you do is beautiful." She sweetly smiled at me and turned the page to continue on to the next drawing.

I put a loving hand on her back and softly said, "Hazel? Do your hands still hurt?"

"No, daddy," she said without looking up from her coloring.

"What about your arms?"

She stayed quiet for a small moment before saying, "Sometimes, daddy."

I then put a hand on her soft arm and put a kiss on it. She quietly watched me do this as tears started to fall. She put her hand in mine and sadly said, "Don't cry, daddy. They don't hurt anymore. Don't cry."

I chuckled at the way she tried to make me feel better. "I'm sorry.....for breaking my promise, sweetheart."

Her blue eyes quietly looked at me. She must've been confused at my words, but she still watched me and squeezed her small hand around mine for comfort. I kissed her tiny hand and said, "You know that I love you, don't you? I'd do anything just to see that smile of yours. Did you know that when I first heard your heartbeat, I fell in love with you?"

Hazel just gave me her usual quiet expression and blinked at me. I chuckled at her oblivion at the love I've had for her from the start. I lay a kiss on her forehead and she used this to wrap her arms around me and whisper to me, "I love you, Daddy."

Gosh. I never thought my whole world would melt at that moment.

Now, I get ready for Vivica's birthday date. I told her to just put on something comfortable and I wait for her as I put on something warm. We're in November now and it's almost Thanksgiving. We all agreed to do Thanksgiving at Kitty's place since she just got an apartment and she was going to spend that night alone. I don't think we'd all fit at our small place in the facility.