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❝Tis' better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all❞
Romantic feelings are odd. They always show up when you don't need them or want them, and never when you do need them. Annas life had turned out very differently if someone had loved her all those years ago when thing first started to go wrong, even if it was just in a platonic way, a little bit of love might've saved her life.
That's the only reason Anna still allowed herself to wear her heart on a sleeve, to love freely, to be supportive of everyone even when she was hurting personally, she knew from experience that it might save a life, both physically but also mentally.
It was why she was so adamant sticking with Bella no matter what, even if she had to third wheel with Isabella and Jacob, whom fate of course had decided that Anna should develop feeling for, and even if it meant feeling unwanted and unneeded, after all these were emotions that Anna was quite familiar with, so she didn't mind them all that much, in a way they were comforting. It was easier to hold yourself in self pity than to be embraced by someone who didn't truly feel what you felt, and what you wished that they would feel.
LA-PUSH, WASHINGTON
"What would you guys have done if I told you I couldn't fix these bikes?" Jake asked, Anna assumed he asked because he wanted to know if Bella actually wanted to spend time with him or if she just needed his help, and she had a feeling he only included her so that it wouldn't be awkward or so that he wouldn't appear too obvious "Are you doubting your mad skills?" Bella finally answered the question with another "No definitely not i mean they'll run fine, it's just eh... Maybe if I was smart i would have dragged out the rebuild a bit" he said looking down at his lap and there by finally confessing his feelings for Bella indirectly, Anna felt for the boy she really did he deserved the world, but she understood that Bella wasn't it for him, and that the girl still needed to get over Edward.
"If you told me that you couldn't fix these bikes i would have said that, that's really too bad but we're just gonna be have to find something she else to do" Bella answered him after a short pause, the girls kindness towards the boy warmed Anna's heart, especially because she was well aware that it was a little white lie, Bella didn't have any interest in Jacob those weeks ago, she may see him as a close friend now, but she certainly didn't back then.
As they continued their drive up the cliff in la push leaned her head back against the trucks window, and looked out, the nature was so wonderfully peaceful, she wished she could just fade into it, become a part of it, suddenly she spotted a bunch of boys playing at the edge of cliff, trying to push each other off "Oh my God stop the car" Anna basically screamed, and as the car came to a halt Anna didn't waste a second crawling over Jacob and rushing out to see what was going on "did you guys see that?" Anna asked looking very frightened, Jacob laughed at the girls concern "They're not really fighting Anna, they're cliff diving, scary as hell but a total rush" he explained to the girl "A rush?" Bella asked, her voice full of an odd sense of wonder "Don't get any ideas Isabella" Anna quickly countered to Bella's apparent interest in cliff diving. "Most of us jump from lower down, we leave the showing off to Sam and his disciples" Jake continued with an annoyed tone, his dislike for the group, Sam especially, was very clear "What's wrong with them?" Anna asked as she became very curious, Jacob didn't generally seem like a person to hate a lot of people so his tone surprised Anna quite a bit "They just think they run this place, Embry used to call the hall monitors on steroids, and now look at him" "That's Embry" "yeah he missed some school now suddenly he's following Sam around like a lost puppy, same thing happened with Paul and Jared... Sam keep giving me this look, like he's waiting for me or something, it's starting to creep me out" "you should just avoid him" Bella advised, Anna nodded along after all there probably wasn't much else to do about the situation "besides you got us now" she added with a smile which Jacob returned.
LA-PUSH BEACH, WASHINGTON
Bella got on the bike "don't be scared" Jacob teased making it rather obvious that he was only doing it to get a rise out of the girl, "I'm not" she answered with a confidence that Anna was pretty convinced was false
"I am, last time you went on a motorcycle it didn't exactly end well" Anna added to the conversation from where she stood a bit behind Bella with her hand raised, Jacob sent her look as if to ask what had happened but Anna simply shook her head, she didn't want to piss off Bella so she would just keep the episode quiet
"alright" he said breaking up the small banter before focusing his attention on Bella, he showed her where the brake, the clutch and the gas were, before explaining that in order to start she needed to slowly release the clutch, Bella hesitated for a second, staring off into nothing before releasing the clutch way too fast making the bike jump forward, and Bella give out a startled gasp
"I wanna go again" she breathed out shocking both Anna and Jake who looked like he was about to jump out of his skin at the idea, obviously knowing it was stupid, but ignoring the looks she got from her friends, Bella set off at full speed, Anna ran up besides Jake and the both of them simply watched with worried looks on their faces, not knowing what to do, as Bella clearly began to focus on something behind her instead of where she was going, it made Anna wonder what the girl was looking for, but she didn't have time to ponder over it before Bella crashed and fell into a stone.
Jacob was quick to jump on the other bike and speed over to her whilst Anna ran as fast as she could towards the two, she made it just in time to hear Bella apologize, for what Anna wasn't sure until Jacob asked her if she was really apologizing for bleeding, and Anna felt bad for the girl, it's difficult to be in a situation where you feel like you constantly have to say sorry for everything. Anna knew it from herself, she'd apologize for her change in appetite, her inability to sleep and inability to get up in the morning, she'd apologize every time she asked a question and so on, because deep down Anna felt like a burden, and she feared that she always would.
Jacob took off his shirt to stop the bleeding coming from Bella's head, they were staring intently at each other and Anna sort of felt like she was intruding on a private moment, after a few moments Jacob spoke up and asked what Bella was staring at "you're sort of beautiful" she answered him and boy did Anna agreed with that, Jake seemed to have an internal conflict before answering her: "how hard did you got your head?" Silence. Bella didn't respond but you didn't need to hit your head to see the boys obvious beauty, of course Bella saying it out loud was very uncharacteristic of the girl so she understood Jacobs confusion at the comment "Let's go" Jake continued before helping Bella up and following Anna back towards the car.
