Starlight | completed

Chapter 36 | happy

❝She was brave enough to do this.❞

Chapter 36 | happy

[Two weeks later]

When the light beams in through the window, she yawns sleepily and looks around her. The sunlight brightens up every dark corner of her room, and it brightens her as well. Her figure is perfectly accented, soft and drowsy in the daylight. She turns a bit around and frowns.

When you look at yourself if the mirror what is it that you see?

Aera doesn't know what she sees, but the person blinking back at her doesn't seem like her either. Her hair is too shimmery and bright, it's clipped back into a low bun. If she turns, wisps of it fall out and she looks utterly innocent. She looks like a dove, naive, delicate and soft. Untouchable.

And she despises it.

She's not innocent or naive, the world has done enough to make sure of that. Why can't her reflection, reflect her? If only people could be seen as they are, for their internal beauty. Not just their external. For the past few weeks, when she trudges through the hallways. Hanging with a few of Will's friends, she notices how some eyes flicker over her.

They smile, and she smiles back. But lord. They'd never bothered to care before, why did it matter now? She remained the same, she beat the same, she cried the same, she bleed the same and she wept the same. Why was it she just looked more beautiful?

She'd done all this in hopes she could be happier, in hopes she could feel closer to her dad. She wanted to feel the happiness he felt, the joy he had felt in his life. The way he shone,
and radiated the same energy at everyone. She had hoped that she could feel the same type of happiness, but she didn't. All she felt was more sad—

She was unhappy.

And she hated it. She stood up, and turned away from her reflection. The hair had to go, it was too light. Too delicate and pretty, she wanted her dark locks back now. "Mom do we still have some of that hair dye left?" she called out, and her mother frowned and stuck her hair into Aera's room, a curious look on her face.

"It's in the bathroom drawer" she said, and Aera flashed her a grateful smile. Heading to the bathroom she grabbed the dye, it was a pitch darker than her natural hair used to be, but it would do. Last time she'd gotten an appointment, and they'd dyed her carefully and throughly.

This time she didn't have much of a care, it was her mother's hair dye, the one she used for her grey hairs. It was the packet she hadn't used yet, and Aera could damn well do this. Not entirely sure what she was doing, she went at it, lathering the dark goo into her hair.

She looked a bit of a mess, but it was what it was. She took a quick shower, and came out, a towel wrapped around her frame. She inspected herself, and turned a beet shade of red. "Mom!" she yelled, and her mother once more stuck her head into Aera's bathroom. This time her pretty face paled.

"What did you do?" she said stepping in and eyeing her Aera, Aera cringed. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to just go at it. "I-I tried dying it?" she squeaked, and her mother's frowned. It looked odd, she'd spread it unevenly, and it blended it so strangely. Some parts were dark and some were—

"It looks like a rats nest" her mother stated, and turning around to catch her eye Aera burst out laughing, it did. Oh god, it did. She laughed again, at her own ridiculousness. It was moments like this she treasured, the small ones would forever mean the most.

"Can you fix it?" she asked, and her mother's eyebrows inched towards her forehead. She laughed this time, "Do I look like a hairdresser to you?" she asked, tittering, she walked over and she brushed it down. "We'll have to set a appointment" she mumbled absentmindedly.

And Aera lightly nodded, at least she reflected more of herself now, crazy hair and all. "I'll go set one now, it should be ready before school" her mother said, stepping away. And Aera nodded once more. She turned back towards the mirror, and chuckled. God, she had no talent whatsoever.

Yawning she headed back into her room, her hair was whatever. It didn't matter much to her, but she didn't want to look horrific. She'd get it fixed as soon as that appointment was ready, all that mattered was that she once more felt a bit more like herself.

She missed Luce.

Lord, she missed Luce a lot. His crooked smile, and awkward mannerisms. She sighed, maybe it was enough time. She could feel him around when he wasn't even there.It had been weeks, and she had tried to find herself. She had tried with Will's friends, and nothing against them, but they just weren't for her. They were too loud, too much in just general.

She had tried ever other way possible, and all she was finding out was what she was not. And what it was that made her unhappy. She stood up and headed to her desk, she looked at the makeup and without a second thought dumped it into a box. Nor was she good at it (she always asked her mom) nor did she like spending time on it.

Some days it was alright, but all it did was enhance her physical beauty. And all Aera had wanted to do was be happier, not just physically but mentally. She was who she was the was she was, it did not matter. She reached up and touched her bare face. She was brave enough to do this she whispered to her herself.

She was pretty just the way she was.

And when the sunlight streamed in through the windows, once more illuminating the room. And from somewhere, her mom's steady voice floated in as she talked on the phone. And the sweet smell food cooking wafted in, Aera softly smiled to herself.

She was happy at last.

~~~~
i am tried, exhausted, drained, unable to move. and probably a bit or a lot dramatic lol.