The Mates of Monsters

Chapter 8

I stand stiff as each second feels like an hour. David waits for me to argue back, but I don't know what to say. I have nothing to do but stand here and hope that all the world falls away to finally find peace in nothingness. Then I don't have to be anyone. I'd have no promises to keep, no feelings to ignore, or dreams to conquer.

"I know," I breathe.

He stares at me as if begging the tears building in my eyes to stay there. "You don't have to, Brigette."

"I do. I have to."

David shakes his head and moves closer, and on instinct, I quickly move back. "Why do you have to?"

"I-I just do. It's late. I have to go back to my, um, the room."

"Is it because of your father?" He asks, thinking less before speaking. "You said he was always busy. He never had time for you."

I stop in my tracks and look at him. "Don't go any further. You're just going to make me angry."

"I am here, okay? I can be here every second of every day."

"Just don't-please."

David latches on to my upper arms as if I'm a child who won't listen. He looks into my eyes and says, "You want to see the world? We can go. We can go wherever you want."

My tears break free and fall down my cheeks, making me viciously wipe them away. "No. No, David. Don't."

"Tell me what you need. I'll do anything for you to quit this-this restraint."

I pull from his hold, breathing heavy. My lips part but close just as fast. There is nothing to tell him. I leave the kitchen and thankfully, David does not follow. My feet power up the steps and rush into my room. The tears continue their downpour as I frantically pack my things, but once my suitcases are covered with thrown fabrics, I collapse to the floor. I sob into my palms because he is willing to do anything, and I am a terrible, horrible person for hating it.

I am cold. I don't let people in. And what if I don't have a worthy reason why? What if my brain is just this way? I need to be guarded. I need to be safe because truly I am not cold. I am a scared little girl who knows nothing about being a mate and even less about being a Luna.

The pack is everything. The pack is one's family. And if I'm gone, I can't let them down.

I wake on the floor of my room.

Sunlight reflects off of the mirror mounted on the wall and sends its beam of light directly onto my face. I shield the harsh beam with my hand then push myself up. My limbs are sore from the wood flooring, and it takes me a few minutes to get to my feet.

I'm reminded of my breakdown by the piles of clothing and other belongings of mine having been tossed around the room. I wander to the bathroom then search for my phone. Eventually, I find it kicked under the bed, and the time reads 2:16 in the afternoon. There are also two messages from Jeremy. The first is to inform me that my self dense lesson with the Alpha has been pushed to a later date, and the second is to remind me of our meeting at three to discuss my role during Alpha Nicodra's visit.

I run a hand through my hair. I wonder what David is doing, what he's thinking. He probably canceled my lesson so he doesn't have to see me after our conversation of sorts last night.

I regret revealing so much. I was too vulnerable. I was an utter mess and let my inner conflicts get the best of me. That must not happen again. I have to stay in control.

Jeremy arrives right on time, and we have our meeting in the dining room. Above the large, wooden table is an antique-looking chandelier whose curling limbs and distracting sparkles entertain my eyes as Jeremy drones. With my chin in my hand, I listen as best I can. His words are at battle with my thoughts, and when it comes to thinking about David, my mate tends to stand victorious.