Stronger || NCT mafia au

Chapter 41 | "i cant"

Jihyun walked into the house, followed closely by Kun. They walked into the main room to see all of the members gathered, Jaemin, Jeno, Jisung, and Chenle sitting together in one of the corners.

"any injuries?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"No. We're all okay." Taeyong responded quietly.

"good." she stood there in silence, looking at the ground with an unfocused gaze. Kun puts his hand on her back and leads her to sit down on the couch, all of the members looking at her with concern.

"Ji...we have to talk about this" Sicheng says quietly from the next couch over. She raises her eyes and looks at the members. She has tears running down her face, her eyes completely dead, as though her heart was totally shattered.

"What's there to talk about?" she turns to look at Sicheng. "The fact that my brother betrayed me? The fact that he plotted this with other members of this mafia and I didn't even notice? The way I couldn't even defend myself? I am a complete failure of a leader and a absolutely pathetic and worthless member of this mafia." The other members stare at her in shock as she spits out her words, more tears streaming down her face. "it should have been me."

"What do you mean?" Lucas says quietly.

"I mean that I-" she cuts off as she looks at Kun, a distressed expression on his face. "nothing." she replies, lowering her gaze.

"Jihyun, you can't blame yourself. None of us knew." Mark reasons. She looks around the room, her eyes landing on the four boys in the corner.

"I made one of my best friends kill his brother." she says quietly, some of the members turning to look at Jaemin. "I'm the only one here who knows what that feels like and I would do anything so that no one else would have to feel it. But since I was too weak to protect myself, he will have to live with it." She turns to Jaemin. "I'm sorry".

He meets her tear filled eyes, shaking his head at her, opening his mouth but no words come out. She stands up, walking over to the staircase.

"Take care of them" she says, looking at Taeyong before continuing up to her room.

- - -

Three weeks go by and Jihyun doesn't speak to anyone. They all try and go talk to her but she turns all of them away, quietly bringing her food and drinks.

Every time they see her, she looks dead. Like a shell of a person that's totally numb. But they know she still feels it, they hear her at night. They hear her sobbing and screaming through her nightmares.

She's sitting in her room, running her fingers along one of her knives when theres a knocking sound at her door.

"Come in," she says softly, placing the knife down. Jaehyun walks in carefully, slowly approaching her and sitting across from her.

"Is someone injured?" she asks. He shakes his head no. "Then why are you here?"

"I'm worried about you, Jihyun." He says, searching her face. "All of us are. It's been three weeks since we've seen you and I know you're hurting." She stays silent, staring at the boy in front of her.

"Jihyun you can trust me, please. We need you." Jaehyun says, gently grabbing her hands.

"You don't need me. I'll only bring you guys pain." she says, a tear falling down her face.

"Jihyun we do need you. The gang needs you. The members need you." he pauses for a moment, "I need you" she looks up at Jaehyun. "nothing's the same without you. no one smiles, no one laughs, we don't know what to do."

"I can't do it, Jae. I can't do this. I can't handle this alone."

"You're not alone, please let us help you." He says, staring at her.

"Even when I try to distance myself from you guys, I still manage to hurt everyone."

"The only way youre hurting us is by staying away. We all need each other more than ever..." He looks at her with uncertainty. "Look, Johnny is still out there, and we can't think that he's done with us."

"I can't kill him. I can't do it again."

"You don't have to, but we can't keep going like this. We need to do something, but none of us know what to do without you. The council is missing members, we have four trainees with us, and no leader." Jaehyun says desperately. "please, Jihyun."

"Okay just... give me one more day. Please." she breathes out. He lets out a deep breath but nods anyway. Standing up, he places a kiss on her forehead before walking out of the room.

When she hears her door click shut, she lets out a deep sigh, closing her eyes tightly.

"what a fine mess I've created."

Jihyun stays in her room for the rest of the night, looking through old photos of her and her members, smiling at the memories. That night she sleeps for the first time in three weeks without any nightmares.

- - -

She wakes up and takes a shower, getting dressed. She walks over to the door, placing her hand on the handle but then pulls back. The familiar darkness creeping up on her as she backs away and sits back down on her bed.

She stares at the wall for who knows how long before theres a knock.

"Come in" The door opens to reveal Jeno, a small smile on his face.

"Hi, Jihyun." he says, walking to sit next to her.

"Hi Jeno, how are you?"

"I'm..." he pauses, "I'm okay. More worried about you than anything else."

"How's Jaemin?" she asks shakily.

"He's doing better. It was hard on him for the first few days, he's never killed anyone before let alone one of his friends. He's been coping with the guilt but he doesn't regret doing it to save you." Jeno replies, a slight bitterness to his tone as he says the last part.

"I don't know what to do Jeno." she turns to him, blinking away the tears.

"What do you mean?"

"Three of my members betrayed me, my gang is a wreck, Renjun is gone. What do I do? What can I do?" she asks hopelessly.

"Jihyun, you have to move forward. Johnny is still a threat out there and you're the only one who can bring things back together. This gang is strong and will recover, but only if they have a leader to guide them." Jeno says firmly.

"What if I just make it worse?"

"God, Jihyun, look." He huffs in mild frustration. "I don't care what's happened in the past, you need to stop being scared. That's not who you are. What's done is done, but there's a group of people out there who really need you right now, including me."

"I've been a real coward, haven't I?" she lets out a bitter laugh, but Jeno shakes his head.

"No, you've been human. I know this broke your heart, but I promise that broken hearts can heal." He stares at her, a small smile on his face. She nods at him as he pulls her into his chest. "you're the strongest girl I know, if anyone can do this, it's you." He pulls away from her.

She stares at him for a moment before nodding in response. He stands up, holding his hand out to her.

"So can you do this?" he says, staring down at her. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she takes his hand, standing up to face him.

"Yeah. I can." She looks at him with a small smile. He links arms with her as the two of them walk out of her room and towards the staircase.

- - -

Okayyy I'm gonna double update cuz I feel bad for the drama of the last new chapters lol. This story will have some fluff for a bit before I introduce another twist👀
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