Untitled Part 57

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"No fucking shit?" Billy said to me.

I've spent the last hour going over the whole Gage saga with Billy. Before that, I spent an hour going over the Matt, Val, Michelle, and Brian drama.

Billy looked at me and shook his head.

"When I heard about it, I didn't even think it could of been you. Then Mike told me it was. He confirmed it with Zack even. Fuck, Tay! You should of came and stayed with me. Gotten away from Huntington." He sighed.

"He would of found me I think. After meeting him that night with Matt, I think he was going to find me no matter what." I told him.

"Fuck, I'm so glad you're ok. I would of called, and I wanted to, but I went to rehab." He grinned a little.

"That's good though. Gotta take care of yourself." I smiled.

"Yeah, I'm trying." He grinned.

"Billy, I'm getting married. I'm kind of freaking out." I whispered.

"You're gonna freak out now?" He laughed.

"I'm just nervous that someone will come in between it." I said.

"I knew my wife a few months. We had a long distance relationship for those two months. I told her to move to California. She did. A month later, we got married in my backyard. We've been together for twenty years. Shit isn't always peachy with us, but we make it work. Look how much you and Brian have been through already. Stop worrying, Tay." He smiled at me.

"You're right." I grinned.

"Duh!" He laughed.

Billy is right. But there are my fucking insecurities playing through my head. Am I good enough for Brian? Why would He choose me over Michelle? I mean, she's so pretty, and I'm just...me.

After saying a tearful goodbye to Billy, Brian could sense something was up. I was quiet, which is very unlike me. Brian sighed and stopped walking. He waited until everyone was on the bus and looked at me.

"What are you obsessing about?" He asked.

"I'm not obsessing!" I shrieked defensively.

Brian rolled his eyes and chuckled at me.

"Doll, you can't fool me. Never have been able to. We don't lie to each other. I don't want to start that now." He told me.

"I'm feeling insecure." I mumbled.

"Why the hell do you feel that way?" He asked surprised.

"I guess I don't understand why you chose me over Michelle." I sighed.

"You're shitting me, right?" He asked seriously.

"No. I'm not. I'm so plain, and Michelle is perfect, along with her perfect twin." I told him.

"Jesus christ, I never thought I'd have to explain this, but I guess I do." He said quietly.

"Michelle is by far, not perfect. Michelle is the exact opposite of everything I ever wanted in someone. The first time I saw you? At Joe's rehearsal dinner? You were wearing ripped jeans and a Danzig shirt. Everyone else is dressed up, but not you." He smiled.

"You marched to the beat of your own drummer. You didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of how you looked either. I watched you the entire night. The low bullshit tolerance was like a flashing radar on you. I didn't even have the balls to approach you that night, which was a first for me. I was too scared you'd tell me to go fuck myself." He smiled.

I couldn't help but giggle at his last sentence.

"And then I saw you the next day. You looked gorgeous. You did the night before too. I got to see both sides of you, dressed up and dressed down, in less than twenty four hours. You intrigued me. I had so much fun with you that night. And my God babe, you are fucking gorgeous. I knew that night that I wanted you in my life. It also took everything I had inside of me to not crack Matt's ass when he got to dance with you that night. I was pissed." He chuckled.

"That's why I called you the next day. I had to at least know more about you. But, then I fucked everything up in the matter of one day." He said painfully.

"I let a dying relationship cloud my judgment. The minute you left my house that day, I regretted it. I hated seeing you with Matt. I hated that you hated me for a while too." He sighed.

"But then I wasn't sure you wanted anything to do with me besides being my friend after you and Matt broke up. I would lay awake at night while you slept across the hall from me, and wanted to barge in and just scream out that I love you. Except I was terrified of losing you again. So, I didn't." He said, pulling me against him.

"Finally, I couldn't wait any longer. Zack had told me that night at the bar when we picked you up, to not be stupid and let you slip away a second time. I thought I should wait until you were sober, but I just couldn't stand it anymore." He said.

I felt tears slip down my cheeks. I'm speechless.

"I love you more than the air I breathe, Tatum. There isn't a single doubt in my mind that you are the one for me. You're my other half. You always will be." He said.

"I can't even compete with what you just said." I whispered out tearfully.

"You don't need to." He smiled, kissing me passionately.

My insecurities slipped away after Brian's speech. I held him closer to me, kissing him more and more. I love this man. He is my other half. He is all I need.

As we got caught up in our moment in the parking lot, I heard someone sniffle loudly close by. Brian and I paused mid kiss and turned to the noise. One of the merch girls was standing there with a box of shirts. Her name is Cindy.

"I'm so sorry! I swear I'm not eavesdropping intentionally! That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my life." She said.

"Um, thanks?" Brian grinned a little.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" She said, dropping the box.

And then this crazy girl hugged Brian and I. Both of us are trying not to laugh at how absurd this whole situation is. Cindy let go of us, smiled, then grabbed the box. She nodded at us and walked away.

"What the fuck was that?" He whispered out at me.

I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. Brian grinned at me, then busted up laughing. That is just the weird shit that seems to happen to us.

"Feel better now?" He asked when we calmed down.

"Yes. Sorry, I just...I've always had self esteem issues. I'm not sure what came over me." I sighed.

"Hmm. Maybe we because we are getting married in seven days?" He grinned.

"Probably. You're not even nervous." I told him.

"Doll, I'm ready to shit myself because I'm terrified you won't want to marry me." He told me.

"What?! Brian, you've done everything for me. More than anyone has ever done for me in my life. I've never had a connection with anyone like I do you. I know when you're mad or lost in thought because you're working on lyrics to a song in your head. But I also know that every time you've ever looked at me, you loved me." I said, watching him smile.

"You really know when I'm working on a song in my head?" He grinned.

"Yeah. You chew on your bottom lip for a while. Your fingers will start tapping on your knee, like you're figuring out what beat to put with it." I said.

"Shit. That is exactly what I'm doing." He whispered surprised.

"You were right. You don't always say things in words. I have to look for the signs." I told him. "And I want to marry you. More than I want anything in this world."

Brian smiled wide and hugged me. I heard him let out a deep sigh as we stood there.

"I'm glad we talked." He murmured.

"Me too." I whispered. 

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