Tempted (Convallaria Series #1)

Chapter 34

I keep on running as my tears flowing freely from my eyes. Bewildered from what I've found out. I'm seeking justice for my Dad. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko pagkatapos ng nalaman ko.

"Ave!" Rhys shouted.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at patuloy lang ako sa pagtakbo. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya kakausapin. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya haharapin. Kung kaya ko nga ba siyang harapin at tignan pagkatapos ng pangyayari.

"Ave... please."

Nararamdaman kong konti lang ang distansya namin. Binilisan ko pa sa pagtakbo para hindi niya ako maabutan kahit nanlalabo na ang paningin ko dahil sa luhang nag uunahan sa pagpatak mula sa mga mata ko.

When he reached me, he immediately wrapped his arms around me. Caging me. He tightly hugged me. Like he doesn't want to let go of me. Kasi baka 'pag nabitawan niya ako hindi na niya alam kung paano niya ulit ako kakapitan.

"Baby, please." He pleaded. His voice cracked.

Patuloy ako sa pag iyak. Sobrang gulo ng isip ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat na mararamdaman ko.

I can't absorb what's happening right now. I wish this doesn't happened.

"Baby, please, pakinggan mo muna siya. Baka nagkakamali ka lang." He told me.

I pushed him.

"Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ang mukhang 'yon! Kung paano niya itutok ang baril niya sa amin ni Daddy!" I shouted at him. Just like me, he's hurt too.

"Hindi mo maiintindihan kasi hindi ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon ko. Hinding hindi mo maiintindihan dahil hindi naman ikaw ang nawalan ng ama!" I cried out. He was standing in front of me. Taking all of my curses and hurtful words. He just listened to me as I cried my anger out.

"For how many years we tried to seek justice for my father's death. Pero walang nangyari. Naging malaya ang pumatay sa kanya habang kami nakabilanggo pa rin sa pagkamatay ng daddy ko."

A tear escaped from his eyes. He's hurt, and so I am. Kung masakit para sa kanya malaman na daddy niya ang pumatay sa daddy ko, mas masakit malaman na pagkatapos ng ilang taon na paghahanap sa taong pumatay sa daddy ko, nandito lang pala at malaya. Ang masakit pa sa lahat, ama siya ng taong mahal ko. Hindi ko matanggap.

"I know it's hard for you, Ave. I'm sorry baby but I don't know how to react too. I don't know how to take that pain off of you. Kung pwede ko lang kunin yan, gagawin ko para sayo. I can't afford to watch you cry and hurt. You've had enough. You've been through a lot of pain. That's why I don't do things that will hurt you, because I don't want to put you in a situation where you question yourself  if you are enough or not, if you deserves the pain you were receiving or not, if you are worthy or not. Because honestly, you are worth it. You are a treasure." He sincerely looked at me.

"Kung naguguluhan ka, naguguluhan din ako sa mga nalalaman ko ngayon. Pero sa isang bagay lang ako hindi naguguluhan." He paused and pointed his chest. Sa kung saan naka pwesto ang niya.

"Right here. Maging komplikado man lahat ng bagay, alam ko, dito hinding hindi ako maguguluhan kasi alam kong iisang tao lang ang nagpapatibok nito. Ikaw lang yun." He walked the distance between us. He held my hand.

"Kung naguguluhan ka..." He took a deep breath. Humihikbi pa rin ako habang nakatingin sa kabilang bahagi.

"Kahit masakit sakin. I'm giving you a space to think. Kung gusto mong ipakulong si Dad, tatanggapin ko. If that's the right thing to do. Just please..." Napahikbi na rin siya.

"Please, d-dont break up with me. Madudurog ako, Ave." Tears keep flowing from his eyes.

I don't know what to do anymore. My hands began to shake as well as my whole body. This ain't good. Memories flashes on my mind. The gun. The loud bang coming from the gun. My father's cold body. The bloods. I pushed Rhys hardly. Hanggang sa kinain na naman ako ng galit ko. I slapped him.

"Kasalanan 'to lahat ng daddy mo! Pagbabayaran niya lahat lahat ng ginawa niya. I'll make sure to put him behind bars!"

He take my slap and just looked at me.

"Honestly, I can't look at you anymore, all I can see in front of me is a son of a killer." I looked at him for a second before I started to run away from him. I can see the pain in his eyes. I want to run back but I forced myself not to.

I locked myself in my room. Alone in the dark. Sitting in the corner. Crying my heart out.

I have friends and family to talk to but I chose not to tell them. I want to be alone to clear my mind.

I feel like I don't fit in anywhere even with my friends. So I'm indeed alone. I know they're always there for me and I know not all the time they are okay, sometimes they had a problem too.

I can go to them or they can go here with me but I choose to be alone now.

It doesn't matter where I go or how many people is around me. That feeling like I'm all by myself is always there. Being so alone, you become part of the empty space itself.

It's dark here but peaceful. Sometimes, darkness makes us feel the comfort we need. Darkness is not just a darkness, sometimes it's a comfort zone, a safe haven. No one sees you. No one can judge you. No one can hurt you.

I really don't know what to do. Si Rhys lang ang natatakbuhan ko kapag nagkakaganito ako pero ngayon... Himdi ko rin siya kayang kausapin baka may masabi pa ako sa kanya na pagsisisihan ko. I know I've hurt him. At ngayon nagsisisi ako sa sinabi ko sa kanya.

I'm so sorry, baby.

Tempted | Black_ArAr