Starting Over

Chapter 44- Delays, Delays, Delays

I woke to the sunshine shining in my face from the window. It was the first of many mornings waking up as Bridget Bryan. I rolled over to wake my darling husband, only to realize he wasn’t there. I immediately panicked. Where on earth could he be? I jumped up out of the bed and looked around the room, but he was nowhere to be found. I walked through the cabin only to find him in the kitchen having a cup of coffee.

“You didn’t wake me,” I said with a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been up for hours. I couldn’t sleep. I’ve had things on my mind,” Luke told me.

“Like what?” I questioned him.

“I told you about these dreams I’ve been having of Caroline,” Luke began, “I had one of those last night.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“Well, she told me that it was good to see me happy again,” Luke paused, “And that basically that I’ve loved you for a long time. Like before she was ever gone. I loved her. I mean I still do. I always will. You know that. I’m just confused. I just don’t understand it. ”

“She came to me in a dream the other night. When we were at Redbird. She told me that we needed body guards, not just us, but the kids too. And that she knew about Brit. Then she told me that it wasn’t my fault that that psycho kidnapped you. Before I woke up she said something that kind of stuck with me. She said that we have a bond that you and her never had, but she said something else too. Her exact words were ‘You were the one to capture his heart and make it whole again.’ That’s not the first time she’s said that to me. She did in the letter she wrote me too. I want you to read this. I think it will help you understand Caroline a little better,” I told him handing him my letter from Caroline that was in my purse on the counter, “I think it’s time.”

“What is it?” Luke asked me.

“It’s the letter Caroline wrote me,” I told him as he opened the letter and started reading it.

I watched closely as the expression on his face changed with each word. I couldn’t help smiling. For the first time since I have known Luke, he is starting to understand the relationship Caroline and I had. In a way understanding Caroline in a way he never had before. Tears started to form in Luke’s eyes. He instantly wiped them away trying to prevent me from seeing them. I leaned over and pulled him close to me as he continued reading just to let him know that I knew and that I was there.

“I really think she loved you more than she did me. I really have always thought that, but this just proves it to me,” Luke said plainly.

“I don’t believe that. I think it was just a different kind of love. I was like her sister. Luke, she loved you more than you will ever realize,” I explained to him, “I just wish you knew how much she loved you.”

“I know she loved me, Bridge. I just think she loved you more. You know how many times we would be fighting and she would be like ‘Just fuck it. I’m going to Bridget’s’? It was every time. She always ran to you. It was like I had to fight you for her affection,” Luke told me.

“Luke, she never came to me. I know where she went, but it was never to me,” I informed him.

“Where did she go?” Luke asked, “To see another man?”

“Luke! How could you ever think that? No she didn’t go see another man! She would always go into Nashville,” I explained to him.

“Why Nashville,” Luke asked curiously.

“She went to Centennial Park. To the Parthenon where you proposed,” I informed him, “You know how many times I would have to pack up Kenzie in the middle of the night and go get her because she was such a wreck she couldn’t drive? She always regretted walking out the door on you. This one night, I got there and she had been drinking. There was like two empty bottles of wine next to her and she was working on a third. You were on the road and she couldn’t get off work to come see you and ya’ll had a massive blowout because of it. She hated herself for hanging up on you and then not answering any of your calls.”