Watching you is the only drug I need

chapter 14

they had both calmed down. ellen was asleep and Patrick sat back in the recliner in the living room of her trailer. it was 5 am. if he remembered correctly ellen would always wake up at 5am. it was 5:06 he heard her coming out of her room. she turned her coffee pot on. he acted like he was asleep just so he didn't have to go quite yet. she walked over to him and put a blanket on him.

this was his perfect time to "wake up" and talk to her. he started opening his eyes and acting all tired. well he was tired but you know.
"hey about last night" she said fidgeting with her hands.
"i'm sorry i over whelmed you"
"ellen that's not the case. your hurting and i wanted to be there with you." patrick stated.
"i am curious. so out of curiosity am asking this question i'm not mad nor-" he got cut of by ellen
"ask me the question"she said sweetly.
"why , why didn't u tell me we were having a baby?"
"patrick in all seriousness. i don't want you to have to stick around because you were attached to me by a child. u obviously left for a reason. and secondly. what was i gonna do ? call you and be like oh hey patrick rember that night we had sex oh which night yea sorry i forgot because we have sex about every day."
he looked down and smiled. she was always funny.
"ellen i left because it hurt to much to see you and not be with you not because i don't love you. don't u see , the problem is i loved u too much."
"patrick ", she turned around from her coffee she was making. "you still left. i didn't want to call u up. hey i'm pregnant guess you have to come back to me. we're tied together for eternity."ellen said.
he saw exactly where she was coming from.
she walked up next to him. "what you saw last night is confidential you got that " she smirked.
"yes ma'am."
they got lost in eachothers eyes. ellen closed her eyes and felt herself slipping closer to him. his breath now was felt on her lips. their lips collided. his hands tangled in her hair.

she pulled away before she knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself. "i cant. we can't. there - no i'm sorry. i need to get to hair and makeup. feel free to use my trailer. i have to go."she walked out.

he hasn't felt her lips against his in years. he could've passed out right there. she left him in her trailer alone. obviously he was going to snoop. he went into her bedroom. he looked inside the night stand. there was a pandora box. he opened it. he could've started crying.

it was all the notes Patrick ever wrote her. the notes saying how much he loved her. one read.

ellen , i love u above and beyond. u've saved me so many times. i cant think of a world without you.

while others were many pages or paragraphs. patrick kept snooping. he just found her wedding ring , pictures of stella , siena , and eli. there were some fan letters too. he went into her bathroom and found a tree. a tree for jewelry  all her necklaces were hanging off of it. he was just looking at some of them when he realized that the pandora box he discovered earlier was from the necklace he got her season 9. it was more of a tight necklace and had a 24 carrot diamond. he kept looking. he opened under he sink to find her perfume. he sprayed it just so he could smell her. his heart skipped a beat.
he found some deodorant and face wash the usual. he went back into her room. he opened her dresser the top on head panties and bra's in them. many of them were recognizable. and the bottom he felt something. it was hard. kinda like a stick. he pulled it out.

it was a positive pregnancy test. he didn't not believe her , this just made things feel more real. he put it back and washed his hands immediately. he went back and ran his hand on the bottom of the top drawer of her dresser. ow. paper-cut. it was many sonograms. the baby's name read pomepo Dempsey baby at the top in small tiny letters , he studied the baby features , his noes , her eyes , her lips. he put it back.he decided to walk out he walked into hair and makeup.

she was sitting in the chair getting her hair curled. her phone in her hand.she didn't look up.
"ellen , what shampoo do u use your hair smells amazing and looks so healthy ! " the woman doing her hair asked. patrick agreed. her smell was intoxicating.
"oh i'm well i use ogx the purple one"she looked at the girl and smiled.
patrick was waiting for either his makeup artist or his hair dresser to come. he was staring at ellen through the mirror. she was jaw droppinly stunning. she kept looking at her phone. she got up and left. not long after that Patrick was done too. he saw her standing talking to camilla. he walked up to her.
"god"he said.
"um yes how may i help you patrick?" ellen asked.
camilla walked away.
"i just want u to know that i'm not sure through loving you. i love u mrs.ellen pomepo with every inch of my body."
"patrick."she looked down.
"no just. ellen i'd give up forever to touch you."
"no one is stopping you." he backed up to the trailer. her back on the trailer patrick's body pressed against hers. she could feel his breath on her face. he went back to that night thinking about the strapless black dress she had on , the way her emereled green eyes sparkled in the reflection of his ocean blue ones , the way her hair fell across her shoulders, her smell god the intoxicating smell that drove him crazy. the only thing that changed was she had no strapless dress on. he actually preferred her to have no dress or anything on at all. the thought of ellen pompeo nude sent shock waves through him. of course he's seen her naked but not in 6 years. he came back to reality. she never said no one is tipping him oh how he wished she did because he'd be all over her right now. "patrick no you left ME "
"and ellen if i could go back and rewind time i would've never. did u know that i would lay in bed at night crying. because you weren't by my side. every single day i looked at my wife and felt regret. i don't know if it was regret from marrying her or not knowing if  i still loved her. or if i ever loved her. because if i really loved her i wouldn't have been so madly in love with you"
"that's nice and all but you still left that doesn't take anything back"
"ellen why do u jeep using i left agianst me that's all u ever say. "
"because u did. out of nowhere. i was in love with u. and u left making me feel worthless."
"you know that wasn't my intention."he stated.
"if felt like it was. "
"and that's why you kept everything i got you , that necklace and those notes."
"patrick dempsey how do you- howd u find that out"
"hey it's okay no judgement i still have that video of us."
"oh my god"she said in shock.
"mhm."
"i forgot we even. we were so drunk."
"do you ever watch it ?"she asked nervous of the answer would consist of.
"actually truthfully. yes i do. not for my own enjoyment but to remember u."
"i think we have photos that would do better just justice than a video of me naked screaming your name."
"but see you being naked is the best part" he laughed.
"i'm sure it is"she smirked.