Watching you is the only drug I need

chapter 12

it was Wednesday morning. he was nervous. he was ready this. he knew it wouldn't be an easy ride to get her to forgive him again but he was ready to do everything in his power to prove he wanted her back in his life.

he got in his car , still dark outside. he pulled up. he saw ellen's car. he saw her trailer too. he felt he felt he didn't know he just felt horrible. he backed into a spot. his front of the car was facing her trailer. he would sit in his car until he got a text from shonda saying he could come in.

good thing his windows were tinted. her trailer door opened. his heart dropped there she was. she was walking with camilla so he couldn't really see her. but she was still absolutely stunning. they walked into a different trailer. he didn't know who's. he got a text from shonda.

shonda: come into my office be sneaky.

he stepped out of his car. he walked behind all of the cars so he would be less seen he walked past ellen's. there was a chain with a ring on it. he recognized the ring. he got closer to her car. it was the ring he got her. from his wife's line. she commented on her post a couple years back saying she wanted it. in her words she said "i need this" he got it for her. she still had it. he felt happy but sad. why'd she keep it?

he walked into shondas office.
"so krista will go into the table read and read with them i'm never at any table reads as you might remember. unless something big , in this case it is. "she laughed.
"anyways , this is a two way mirror. i can see them through but for them it's just a mirror. they know this but you can watch through and they won't know. i'm gonna leave i'll be back in t minus 30 minutes. just hang in here"she walked out.

Patrick sat in front of the mirror. people were walking in. they all had mask on. even tho they'd been covid tested every other day. many in recognizable faces walked in. then came camilla and ellen. ellen sat next to this bald guy. she hugged him with one arm. he was sitting down but she sat next to him then camilla sat next to ellen. patrick was jealous. excspecailly after the whispering and smiling he saw between them. he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. she was enchanting.

shonda came back
"about 5 more minutes" she said excitedly.
he was nervous , starting to sweat. he lost track of time from staring at her.
"okay patrick we're ready"
he couldn't he can't just walk out he was starting to regret his choice. but he went in a walked out. his eyes locked with ellen's camilla tapped on ellen's shoulder breaking their eye contact. he read what she said said to her even tho he couldn't hear what she said. he knew and she said
"hey come on let's go" she took ellen's hand. he walked out behind them he didn't care anymore.
"ellen" he said.
camilla turned back "no please go"
"no."he stated "ellen" he said again.
she kept walking. into her trailer she went. he knocked and went in to see her crying.
"ellie" he said in sorrow
"it's ellen"she said
"ellen"he said.
"what"she salt back hostile.
"ellen why" he froze he didn't know what to say.
"what? why what patrick. why am i so rude now maybe it's because the man i loved the man i trusted with my life walked away. with no clear explanation making me feel like i was worth nothing. my walls went up and sure as hell aren't coming down for the same man who made them go up"
"that's . that's not what was meant when i left"patrick said feeling horrible.
"well that's what it felt like."she said.
"please go" she asked
he wanted to stay but knew he should go.

he found camilla and debbie standing outside talking.
"what's wrong with her" he asked Camilla.
"i just heard what she told you. i'm sure the whole warner brother lot did. what she just told u is 1/4 of what actually happened here's another part i know i shouldn't be telling you this but. but patrick maybe this will make u leave her the hell alone." she stated.
"ellen's , ellen is in a hard very hard time right now." she said. "she doesn't need you. she needs me. and debbie. not patrick." Camila walked off.

debbie walked up to him and patted his back. she took her glasses of leaving them to hang on the deck wave around her neck they were attached to to stay up.
"ellen was pregnant."debbie said
thoughts raced. did chris do something to the baby is she still pregnant that's why she's emotional. what happened. but what came out of debbies moth was the last thing he would've thought.
"with your baby. she lost it 5 years ago two days ago.she thinks it's her fault. she thinks that if she hadn't lost your baby that y'all would be together.she needs people surrounding her right now. i now it doesn't seem like it but she needs you. she may deny it but she does." debbie said
"my? my baby ? " he couldn't process this.
"yes patrick your baby" she said.
"how ? how did?" he said with his hand rubbing through his hair.
"well if i'm not mistaking. you guys had sec one night and u got her pregnant. she was filming and scene in the o.r with camila. i knew she was pregnant and she did too. that's it. camila told her she started her period. there was blood on her scrubs.and ellen knew there was no possible way. she knew it was a miscarriage"ellen said
tears rolling down patrick's eyes. he ran to ellen trailer. she was laying on the couch with a blanket crying. he pulled her up and just hugged her they were both crying.
"ellen"he said feeling like he could bang his head into the wall.
"you know don't you"she asked
"yes. why didn't you call me."
"i was only a few weeks i was but then i miscar-"she couldn't finish her sentence. she was balling. she backed up "i - i think you shouldn't go"she said as she wiped her eyes.
"you don't need to be alone"he said
"no i'll be fine. i've been alone the last 5 years everyday this happened i can handle myself."
"i can't leave you. not after i know what happened"
" you need to please go i don't want to be rude"
he left. he sat in his car. he fell asleep as he cried.