❝𝐁𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄❞

10 || Tears

Hongjoong was currently on his way to meet his parents. He had a lot in his mind and he just wanted to clear it all out. He walked for a bit and then reached the graveyard. He entered and went straight towards his parents.

"Mom, Dad! I'm back" He said quietly while trying to smile a bit. He sat there for a bit like usual and then he spoke. "Mom, Dad I told them." He said while looking down at his lap. "They're so good to me, they said that they would never see me for my past, that they want to be friends with me for my present and nothing else. I don't deserve them, Mom and Dad! They are so nice." He started crying again.

Everything from before replayed in his mind. Everything. How the guys just said that they love him for how he is and not for how he thinks he was. How they said he is sweet and that he could never do anything wrong to anyone. Everything.

And he just cried not caring about the sound of a bike at the back. He just went on crying and speaking about everything. Seonghwa, didn't know that he will find Hongjoong here again. He didn't see him yesterday but today he found the boy here again.

But, he looked much more different than ever. He didn't look like his cheerful and bubbly self. He was not even hesitant like he would be in front of him sometimes. He was crying. He never saw him cry. He thought that Hongjoong was just a cheerful guy and all. But, this was new to Seonghwa.

He hid behind the same tree again and stayed there. "Mom, Dad, I told them everything. I told them how I lost you because of a stupid question I asked you on my birthday. I told how you said that this bracelet would make me remember that I am not alone and there is always someone by my side. I told them that you died because of me. I told them all. I didn't want them to be friends with me without knowing the truth just so they don't feel fooled out. And....And they said they are with me always. I don't deserve them!" Seonghwa heard Hongjoong cry out.

He was shocked by Hongjoong again. There was never a single time Hongjoong didn't shock out. He never thought someone like Hongjoong thinks like that about himself. He never thought Hongjoong blames himself for losing his parents. He can't say he knows everything about Hongjoong's past but he couldn't believe Hongjoong would blame himself for that. Just like.........him.

But, why does Hongjoong blame himself? Seonghwa doesn't think someone so sweet as Hongjoong would do something that would lead him to blame himself. Though Seonghwa doesn't know much about Hongjoong, he surely thinks that Hongjoong won't do something bad to blame himself for. While, he has done something that he deserves to be blamed for.

He has been so bad of a child to become the reason of his parents separating and his father choosing to die. If he wouldn't have born, then all of this wouldn't have happened. But now, this is his punishment. To stay alone forever. Maybe this was what that someone he called 'Mom' once wanted to tell him. That he deserves no one by his side. That he deserves to be alone. That he is nothing but a Curse for others.

He just wanted to go hug Hongjoong right now. He couldn't help himself. He wanted nothing but to hug him and say that he shouldn't cry. He just felt something he never felt for anyone. But, he held himself. He didn't want to do something that would probably scare Hongjoong. And more of, think that he was eavesdropping. He just stood there seeing Hongjoong cry out and after sometime he saw Hongjoong leaving. He looked really broken.

He just stood there staring at his retreating self. After sometime of standing at the same spot he decided to go to his father's grave. Hongjoong, on the other side just walked and nothing else. He felt happy and bad at the same time.

Happy, because he didn't expect the others to accept him despite what he told them about his past unlike the others at his grandma's place. He still remembers children in his school would never become friends with him. They would always say that he killed his parents. They would always say he is disgusting. They would always bully him for this and he couldn't do anything. Why? Cause a part of him always blames himself for what happened but he tried his best not to show it.

Bad, because he thinks that he is not good enough to have friends like the others or even good enough to know them. He feels like he is nothing but an insult to them.

He walked and walked until he reached near a river. He has never been here but now that he is and it is quite dark as well, he just stood there and felt the wind that was starting to get colder. He didn't care, it helped him instead. It made his mind feel clearer. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath.

He repeated it for some time, taking a breath in and releasing it out. It felt alot better. He looked down at his reflection in the water, smiled a bit at it and stared for some time before he went back to his place.

He felt much better than before now and so he decided to just try to not think about it much. Also, today's events just brought him to a beautiful place and he'll surely be going there more often. At least at the end of the day it wasn't fully bad.

Later, at night Seonghwa found himself standing in his balcony, staring at the moon with his cigarette in his hand. This time he didn't see Hongjoong's smiley face at the end of the nightmare but......It was Hongjoong's crying face. It made Seonghwa panic in his sleep and get up immediately.

What was much much much more weird was that he got up shouting Hongjoong name. It was as if a sudden fire to stop Hongjoong from crying, sparked into him, telling him to stop it. Stop Hongjoong from crying. He couldn't keep that face out of his mind even more than the smiley one. Cause this one made him think more of Hongjoong.

He didn't even pay attention to when it was already two hours since he woke up. But, as much as he would want to go back to sleep, he couldn't. Not after seeing Hongjoong like that in his sleep before.

He stayed up the rest of the night, not having anything in mind but Hongjoong. He thought about just him and if not him then anything related to him. He thought about what Hongjoong would be feeling right now. Would he be sleeping? Or would he be crying still?

He was alot curious about Hongjoong and he just couldn't help it. Hongjoong was like some magic that was making him crazy and unknowingly he felt a bit good about the fact that he was going crazy but if someone says this to him he wouldn't probably admit it all.

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Hey guys!! The next chapter is up though I feel this one is the worst written along with being a bit rushed of a chapter but I promise I would try to write better from next time.

Also, I promise to do a double update on new year again!

Lately, I wasn't well enough to write so after the double update on new year I won't be left with any pre-written chapters probably but don't worry my updates would still be on a three day gap as usual. I promise they won't be slower so those who like reading my story please don't be disappointed with me!

And again SORRY!
Also, everybody please take care of yourself and know that your health means alot to many!! And to me it does alot!! You know I am here for you if you need anyone to talk to!!
Till then enjoy!! :-)