Paint || BokuAka

- chapter 19 • isolate, now -

Finally, Akaashi arranged with the school to get him own dorm. Now he wouldn't have to secretly bunk with Kenma anymore, not like the college would care at the most part.

Having his own dorm felt refreshing, it was clean and the smell didn't smell like BO and dog piss.

He didn't have a dorm mate at the time, so the dorm was all to himself. He could live alone for once, be isolated and no one would bother him. Of course he'll check on Kenma once and a while.

~

He jumped onto his fresh-ish bed and huffed a bit. It's been two days since he said him and Bokuto decided take a break being friends. Down deep in Akaashi he was hoping, hoping, that Bokuto would refuse it and force him to let that idea go. That didn't happen.

To isolate himself from Bokuto even more and decided to block Bokuto's phone number and take his contact out. He hesitated for a moment, his fingers shook over the block button. Finally pressing it, it didn't feel relieving.. it felt like it pushed him more into the dark abyss in his mind.

"If I planned it right.. I could die without anyone noticing." Akaashi spoke to himself. "That's a stupid idea.. you'll never go through with it." He laughed to himself.

He rolled over and opened his phone once again. He went through Instagram, clicking on random people accounts. Then a notification popped up.

HootersBoy posted

{a/n: I don't know exactly what pops up, I don't use Instagram much.}

He clicked on the tab and it sent him to a photo of Kuroo pushing Bokuto in a wheelchair. They were standing in the park, Kuroo was laughing while Bokuto had a wide grin on his face. Akaashi's stomach churned in the site of this photo.

He slammed the phone on his bed.

See. He doesn't need you!

You needed to drop him from the start.

He's glad your out of his life.

Dying isn't such a bad idea, Keiji.

Akaashi screamed into his pillow, all these screaming voices in his mind made him insane.

"Get out of my head!" He screamed into the pillow, punching the bed with his fists.

More dark screams flooded his head, the thoughts from the abyss came like a knife to the chest.

"Why did I leave?! Why do I always back out when it comes to these situations?" Akaashi sat up and cried to himself. "Please stop me.. from doing that Kōtarō.." He sobbed like Bokuto was listening to him.

Akaashi laid in bed for a couple hours, crying into the pillow that was soaked already. His eyes were puffy and the streams of tears stained his face.

He leaned over and opened the drawer next to his bed. His hand searches for the baggy that held his stress reliever. Pulling the small bag out that had the drugs in it, he took a paper out and messily rolled it up. Luckily Kenma supplied all of this for him, surprisingly Kenma willingly gave it to him.

Sitting up and sparking the lighter, he sighed in relief when he felt the stench fill up his mouth. Breathing in, the smoke filling his mouth and lungs. Hastily breathing out he had forgotten it was against the rules to smoke in dorms, screw that rule.

It's not like anyone would knock on the door and tell him to stop, it would be more likely for someone to knock on the door and ask to join him. He wouldn't care, as long as he got some sort of payment for them using his supply.