[2] Spoiled Legacies - JJ Maybank - Rafe Cameron - (An Outer Banks AU)

Chapter 27

THE THERAPIST

"Do you ever dream about something bad you did?" Violet asks.

"Our dreams have a way of telling us something we don't see for ourselves." Her therapist says.

"It happens every night." Violet says.

"Your dream?" Dr. Kate asks.

"Yeah. It's like I'm living it all over again." Violet says.

She was constantly reliving the day she shot Barry. Every single moment. It was like a video on loop in her mind and she didn't know how to get it out of her head. Her mind wanted her to remember every single moment that happened.

Maybe it was the guilt or the drugs she was on. Or maybe she was losing her mind, or she still is losing her mind. Or maybe her mind was never there, to begin with.

"What happens in your dream?" She asks.

"You don't wanna know." Violet says, shaking her head.

"I've been doing this for over a decade. I assure you there's nothing that I can't handle." Dr. Kate says.

"I can't." Violet says. 

She couldn't tell her therapist she killed a guy while on fentanyl because he and the other guy she was leading on were trying to beat down the guy she was hooking up with who happened to steal money from him that she paid the dead guy because she thought she was helping out the guy that was working with him.

Yeah it was a mouthful, and it was a long story she couldn't be bothered to tell her therapist. Especially when she told her therapist a different version.

"You need to be able to face it, to say it out loud. You may not be ready now but you'll be ready sometime." The therapist says.

"Okay, fine.." Violet starts.

"I cheated on my boyfriend." Violet says, the therapist had a neutral face.

She didn't really cheat on Jordan, she just needed to make that as a metaphor for saying: 'I killed a man at the age of 15 while on drugs.'

"Why do you think you did that?" She asks.

"I don't know! I wasn't thinking. I mean it was in the moment- it was a split second! One thing led to another..." Violet explains.  It was the truth, she just omitted some information.

"And now I'm a cheater! Just brand me with the Scarlet letter already!" Violet yells. What she actually meant was 'I'm a murderer! I should be in jail!'

"Now what?! I just supposed to move on with life? Like nothing happened?" Violet continues. The severity of what happened with Barry didn't come back until the dance. After she danced with Rafe. 

"And you know what the worst part is?" Violet continues.

"I don't even feel guilty! I mean I knew it was wrong but it didn't even process through my mind until a few weeks ago!" Violet continues.

She didn't feel bad for what happened to Barry, maybe because whatever happened last summer was a fever dream, but she didn't feel bad. She wanted to feel bad, but she just couldn't. She didn't. She didn't feel anything.

He supplied Rafe, her childhood friend... crush... it's complicated... whatever, he supplied Rafe with drugs and that eventually got him hooked on those things. He supplied her with drugs at one point.

Barry didn't force-feed them the drugs, but he knew they were addicted. Basic economics, supply and demand, it was just good business for Barry to have those rich kids from Figure Eight addicted.

Maybe it was just better if he was gone.

No one noticed.. right?

"Why do you think you don't feel guilty?" Her therapist asks.

"Maybe cause it was something I already knew was right." Violet says.

THE POGUES - ANOTHER DAY

John B and Sarah had led them to a dead end.

They were stuck. All of them. 

"There's nothing else we can do." Pope says.

"Guys, we can't just give up now." Violet says.

"We don't know anything! There's nothing else here. This is all hypotheticals and what ifs." Kiara says.

"Look, I- I just know. Something is telling me that we're close." Violet defends.

"It's like mother's intuition or whatever they call it." Violet adds.

"But you're not his mom." JJ says.

"You know what I mean!" Violet says.

"We're stuck." Kiara says.

"Stepbro I'm stuck." JJ jokes.

"JJ shut up!" Kiara says, not having it.

"I gotta get ready for the game, it's the last one." Violet says.

THE LAST FOOTBALL GAME OF THE SEASON

The music of the academy's marching band became the white noise in the background for her as she cheered for the boys during the game. She was like a robot, doing each defense and offense cheer in sync with everyone, but her mind was somewhere else. 

It was like one of those paint palettes that artists use to mix and match colors. It was a mess, a beautiful mess only the artist could understand. But the artist didn't look at the palette like it was a mess, it wasn't a mess. She knew where everything was and why everything was there.

That was her mind right now. 

From John B and Sarah's disappearance, to V's therapy sessions, to Rafe Cameron, to JJ Maybank, to Jordan Tanner, to working at the Wreck while still in school, to keeping her grades up, to cheer, to preparing for the ski trip, to learning how to drive, to narcotics anonymous meetings with Gabriel, to keeping her crime a secret, to fight the urge to relapse.

She had a lot going on right now, and not enough time in the day to deal with it all.

The buzzer went off for halftime as the boys got off the field. 

Jordan went over to see Violet, who he put his arm around and gave a quick kiss.

"You okay?" Jordan asks, snapping her out of it.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." Violet says, faking a smile.

"Are you going anywhere over break?" Jordan asks.

"The ski trip?" Violet asks.

"Besides that." Jordan says.

"No, just staying home this year." Violet says.

"Wanna come with us on vacation? It's a work trip, but a vacation for me. Top already agreed." Jordan asks.

"Us?" Violet asks, confused.

"Me, my brother. You remember Gabriel right?" Jordan asks.

"Yeaaah." Violet slowly nods.

"Wait- but it's a work trip, I don't want to make Gabriel babysit." Violet says.

"He's extending the trip. Come on! It'll be fun. There's a couple of slots left on the plane." Jordan says.

"I still have to ask my parents, but I guess I'll go." Violet says, smiling. Jordan pulled her in for another kiss before Violet broke it.

"Wait, where are we even going?" Violet asks.

"The Bahamas," Jordan says.

"The Bahamas?" Violet asks.

"Yeah, Gabe's business partners with Ward." Jordan says, giving a little too much information.

A/N: Happy New Year! I wrote this all at once cause I got a spark of inspo so uhh sorry for any mistakes!