Everything Inbetween Bones [BxB] ✓

Chapter 51

A/N: Hey, so I'm finally back with another chapter and I've been procrastinating this for a while and I even considered adding another plot point in just to avoid it, but I think we all this can't go on forever. As much as I love my characters and it will absolutely kill me to say goodbye to them, the next chapter will be the final one. I'm hoping to put it out on Saturday so I can have a little celebration by myself and maybe we can all kinda celebrate together in a way, but that's the plan. If you guys want another Q&A to answer any additional questions about characters or backstories without the fear of spoilers, I'm down. The song for this chapter is Pajama Pants by Cavetown and it's adorable. Anyway, I'll see you guys soon and the next book is in the making, the first chapter should be coming out soon after the ending of EIB. Remember to take care of yourself and drink a glass of water if you haven't. Have a good week.

 

Logan sat on the couch, nervously fidgeting with his hands as he waited for an expected knock at the door. It'd been three weeks since he'd gone to school last and he'd promised the group that he'd explain everything when he was ready. It just so happened that he'd decided it was time to tell them, and while he knew he was ready to and he needed to, it was still a bit terrifying to think about his friends' reactions. He felt a hand in his head, playing with his hair, and looked over with a small smile at Oliver. 

"I can always turn them away at the door if it's too soon," Oliver said softly. Logan shook his head. 

"I can do it, I want to, they deserve to know and it's not like they don't already know something's wrong, it's just..difficult." He said and Oliver gently kissed the top of his head. He'd told Oliver it was alright to tell them ahead of time what he was recovering from, he just didn't want him going into detail. He thought it might at least break the ice on their conversation if Oliver got the big confession out of the way for him. 

"I think it'll be good for you to talk about it." 

"Me too." 

Logan's eyes shot to the entranceway when he heard the doorbell ring and he got up to answer it, taking a breath. He didn't force a smile when he saw his friends at the door, he had a small smile though he was still visibly a bit panicked. Sy, Ivy, Tyler, and Grace stood looking back at him and he wasn't sure what to say. 

"Logan." Ivy said in a breath, pulling him in for a hug and he hugged her back. 

"I missed you guys." He said once he'd pulled away, fidgeting with his sleeves again. 

"We missed you too, Stick." Sy said and Tyler kicked his foot while Logan pretended not to see the glare Oliver sent him. 

"Dude.." Ty said and Syrus seemed to realize his mistake, about to apologize when Logan spoke up. 

"It's fine." Logan said quickly, not wanting to start a fight between them. "I mean like, maybe don't say it, but it's not a big deal or anything." He said with a shrug. "Does anyone want tea?" He asked and they all agreed so he put the kettle on and pulled mugs out. 

"I've never noticed how many Queen mugs you have." Ivy pointed out and Logan giggled softly. 

"It's my Dad's favorite Christmas present every year."  

It was only a few minutes before Logan was pouring the boiling water into cups and they all made small talk while Logan set cups on the table. He knew he could stall up until they all sat down, but when the group settled into their seats, he could barely start. Oliver sat next to him and gently bumped their knees together. Logan smiled softly and tapped his fingers against his cup. 

"I guess everyone knows now so there's no beating around the bush really." He said, keeping his eyes on his cup. "This kind of feels like a reverse intervention or something." He laughed softly. 

"Would it help if we were all in our underwear?" Ivy asked jokingly and Logan giggled, shaking his head. 

"We're not here to judge you. We just want to support you however we can." Tyler said softly, Logan nodded. 

"I-I know, it's just a little bit difficult still, I mean, after so long of not talking about it, but there's nothing anyone did wrong, I mean, none of you knew." He said. 

It took a while for Logan to actually begin talking about it, the silence wasn't impatient, but expecting. He wasn't sure how long he sat just finding the first thing to say. 

"I uhm, I guess it really started a few years ago during the summer before freshman year after I got back from the hospital for the first time. I had been self-harming and stuff, but I still just felt like I couldn't control anything. I was going to therapy and taking medication but it wasn't helping so I just stopped, I mean, I pretended to get better and by the time I started high school, I was hiding it really well. It wasn't bad at first, it didn't get bad until sometime last year, that was when I really started dropping weight but nobody really questioned it. I don't know why or how it all happened so fast, but over the past year I just kind of..spiraled. I already had kind of a bad relationship with food, but it got way worse. I was constantly hungry and cold and tired, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was lying to everyone or that I might..die. I guess I thought I was keeping everyone else happy by lying. I'm sorry I made you guys worry." He said, not really able to stop talking after he'd started. His friends listened quietly and then Ivy reached across the table to take his hand. 

"I'm just happy you're getting better, Loggy, I'm glad you told us." She said and he smiled, trying not to cry. Tyler got up to hug him. Grace had a sad smile on her face and looked like she wanted to say something but she stayed quiet. He glanced to Sy who was staring at the cup in his hands, Logan wondered what he was thinking about. 

"I'm proud of you, Bear." Oliver said softly, taking Logan's hand under the table. 

"God, that was so nerve-wracking." Logan said with a quiet laugh, wiping a tear off his cheek. "Maybe we can go somewhere, it's been a while since I've gotten out of the house."

"We could all walk to the park." Ivy suggested. 

"That actually sounds great, could I go change quick before we leave? I'm still wearing pajama pants." Logan said and she nodded. 

He jogged up to his bedroom, stripping off his t-shirt and yellow pajama pants, looking for something to wear in his closet. He picked out a pair of ripped jeans and one of Oliver's sweaters. He had a few of Oliver's clothes in his closet now, he slept over so much that he ended up leaving shirts and sweaters and then Logan washed them and put them in with his. 

He walked over to his dresser, setting his clothes down, and hesitated a moment when he saw himself in the mirror. He couldn't help but stare for a moment sometimes, and maybe it was a bad habit, but he was only three weeks into recovery and could cut himself a bit of slack sometimes. He didn't look as thin as he used to, but it was just a bit strange seeing himself bigger than usual. Not too much, just a bit more skin on his bones and a bit less rib poking out. There were times where it was all he could think about, he'd have to flip his mirror to the wall to get dressed and he'd say no when Oliver asked if he wanted to hear his recent weight and he'd wear baggy clothes, other times he was content to hate himself, and sometimes, on rare occasion, he was excited to be getting better, to know someday he'd be heading off to college and living in a little studio apartment with Oliver and he'd come home and rant about class and then Oliver would kiss him and they'd make dinner...He couldn't wait for that future. 

He pulled on his clothes and sneakers and headed back down to his friends, taking Oliver's hand and heading out the door. The park closest to Logan's house was only a short walk away, it was really almost a part of his neighborhood.

"It's so nice outside today," Logan said, a small smile on his face as he looked around at the melting snow. It was starting to warm up a bit, winter was almost over and soon the flowers would be popping up again and animals would be coming out of hibernation. Winter would end and everything would be waking back up.

"I know, I can't wait for the cherry blossom trees to bloom again, I like sitting in the one in our backyard during spring." Ivy said, taking Grace's hand as they walked. 

"The school year's ending in a month too, isn't that weird?" Grace said. 

"Next year will be our last one." Ty said. 

"Oh god, don't say that." Ivy said with a laugh. "I don't want it all to be over."

"I think I want to get out into the real world though, get my own place and make my own decisions and all." Oliver said. 

"I can't wait to go to college." Logan said and Oliver chuckled. 

"Of course you can't, you're a nerd." Ivy said and the redhead giggled. 

"Do you think we'll see each other again after we all graduate?" Sy asked.

"Well, Logan and Oliver are getting married so they'll keep in touch." Ivy said with a grin and Loan went bright red. 

"N-No one said anyone was getting married." Logan said quickly, though Oliver just chuckled, running his fingers through the boy's hair and Logan looked up at him. "What?"

"Nothing." Oliver said with a small smile. 

"You had a look."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Oliver took the boy's hand again. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on proposing any time soon."

"But you've thought about it?" Logan asked with a small teasing smile and Oliver cocked a brow at the boy. 

"Do you want me to have thought about it?"

"W-..shut up." Logan said and Oliver laughed softly. 

"We've gotta find a way to all stay in touch, I have to be one of Logan's bridesmaids" Ivy said. 

"Where's everyone planning to go to college?" Grace asked. 

"Pratt." Logan said.

"Ty and I going to Harvard." Sy said, scratching the back of his head. 

"I'm planning to study abroad for a bit, but I might get my gen eds at LU." Ivy said. 

"Oh, Oliver's planning to go to LU." Logan said and Ivy smiled. 

"Hey, maybe you'll be in my photography course." Ivy said with a grin and fist-bumped him. 

"I'm thinking about going to NYU." Grace said. 

"We're all going to be so far away, but maybe over the holidays?" Ivy said with a shrug. 

"We'll figure it out." Logan said, turning the corner to the park and looking up to smile at Oliver a moment. 

"Yes, I will push you on the swing." Oliver said, grinning back at the boy and Logan giggled, running off to hop on one of the swings and Oliver walked after him.

---

They spent most of the afternoon like that, just hanging out at the park talking or swinging. It was one of the best days Logan had had in a while. Eventually, Oliver said they should be getting home to have dinner on time. Staying on schedule had become pretty important to Logan, especially with eating. His therapist had suggested trying to shift his need for control onto other healthier facets of his life, like his time or his studies which was helping a bit. 

Once they got home, everyone said their goodbyes and headed out for the night. Oliver made pasta for dinner and his dads got home around 7. 

"I should probably get going." Oliver said with a soft sigh, glancing at his watch. 

"Do you have to?" Logan asked, looking up at him with his big puppy dog eyes and Oliver smiled, poking his nose. 

"I do. Will you be alright to stick to the meal plan if I just head home after work?" Oliver asked and Logan nodded. Oliver stayed over less often now that Logan was alright to make his own food sometimes or he could just order from somewhere. 

"I could also just ask my dad to make me breakfast if I need to." He said, leaning up to give Oliver a kiss and Oliver kissed him back before he finally got up from Logan's bed, stretching a bit. 

"I was thinking, we should go out somewhere soon, maybe to the overlook, we could pack a picnic and then come home and I could sleep over." Oliver said and Logan smiled, nodding. 

"That sounds good. Have fun at work!" 

"I will, I love you."

"I love you too."

Logan watched Oliver leave with a small smile, then curled back up in his blanket for a few minutes before he headed downstairs where his dads were having tea. At times always having someone home with him was a bit overwhelming, but he never felt as alone anymore, and he was at least glad that he wasn't in a hospital. He knew it'd be months before he'd be considered fully recovered and it could be much longer before he'd mentally recover, but at least he knew he was doing his best and there were people that cared about him enough to support him through it. He was finally starting to feel like the 'better' that he'd been hanging on for was coming, and maybe it was stupid to think he could be happy all the time, or that 'brighter days are just around the corner' but he liked to think that he'd come to a place where he wouldn't be sad all the time. That was what he wanted, not to be eternally happy, but to have the little moments not be dulled by numbness, to be able to feel really happy sometimes, and to care about himself enough to want to recover. He thought maybe he could get there someday, for the first time in years he was beginning to feel hopeful about it again.