childish (tommy innit x reader)

chapter 31

you open the front door, staring down at the grass on the front lawn, seeing how comfortable it looks. it's inviting, even if there may be 100s' of insects in the green carpet, you lay down. it's soft, softer than any bed you've experienced your whole stay here.

you stare into the stars, seeing numerous constellations. they remind you of your dad. "dad." you subtly curse to yourself, not wanting to think too much of the man that has hurt you the most, the man who gave you so called "daddy issues".

you notice ursa major, ursa minor right beside, you and your dad's favorite. it represented a promise he made to you, "all always be beside your side, even if i'm gone.". "yeah shit for promises." you mutter, focusing on other constellations.

"lyra. his music was better than any mortal mans." you hear your fathers whisper, your eyes widen and your whole body flies up, looking around the whole yard. nothing is there, you're imagining things, but it all felt so real.

you look back up to the stars, recognizing more constellations. an odd joy comes this, reminding you the calm before the storm. except the storm was your father. the idea of the man makes your heart hurt and makes your stomach drop down to the feet. your breathing becomes ragged, small shallow breaths turn into quick, panicked inhales.

"no" you say out loud, wanting to fight off the panic attack that's soon to come. but you can't focus on anything other than the stars making art in the sky. you can point out any star that forms a constellation and tell them the backstory.

your eye screw shut, trying to regulate the gasping coming from your lungs, but it won't fight off. you imagine the only thing that will keep you calm. the boy in the room upstairs. your eye's focus on the window, the faint light of a screen of some sorts play against the blinds.

someone can't sleep as well.

your eyes close, imagining his hands intertwined between yours. his hands much larger than yours, his thumb softly running along the back of your hand. you feel your respiratory slow down back to normal speed.

he's one of the only things that can calm you down.

*

your eyes shoot open, the clouds are strong in the british sky. "wha-?" you ask yourself and you look around. "shit..." you fell asleep in the grass last night. your whole body itches, begging for a shower.

you get up, you quickly flash your wrist in your field of view, scanning your watch. '7:36', you're probably one of the only people awake. you get up from the grass, it was comfortable last night, but now you're dirty and extremely uncomfortable.

your body seems to be sore, not used to sleeping in dirt. the sky seemed like it wanted to wreak havoc, it was clouded like your mind. so many different things turned into one large fog. putting a mood over all your thoughts.

you walk up the pavement and through the front door, looking at the front entrance hall. there's a few quiet words in the kitchen, hushed words that aren't meant to be heard. "i'm serious wilbur, i love her." tommy whispers.

you're stomach turns to butterflies and you slowly start walking towards the conversation, making sure your footsteps are light. you soon realize what you're doing is inappropriate, you shouldnt be eavesdropping on a conversation that's not for you.

you walk into the kitchen, looking at tommy and wilbur, tommys' eyes visibly brightens whenever they fall onto you. "goodmorning y/n." he softly says, a smile on his face, you smile back.

"where did you sleep last night? you weren't in your room this morning, niki was worried." wilbur questions, staring at the grass stained clothing that seems to be stuck to your body like tape. "sorry wilbur, i fell asleep watching the stars." you softly reply, hoping he won't care.