Love & Hate || Nishimura Riki ✓

drained inside

Ni-ki's POV

i ran outside of the room .. anger had taken over me as my tears started to pour .. i remember how my parents died in front of my eyes .. if someone hasn't shooted them , our car won't crash and my parents would've lived .

"she's the daughter of that asshole ! .. of course she's a Min ... how come i never thought of the possibility that she's related to him " i mumbled angrily .. i can't forgive that man for killing my parents

"i shouldn't have been close to her if i knew .. i shouldn't love her .." my heart aches as i say those words . i still love her after all that happened but the anger i feel now is eating me whole

i stopped running when i reached the road .. there's no vehicle running right now so i can cross freely .

i was still crying and deep in my thoughts when a car honked loudly .. i was so shocked that i just stood there looking at that car

"RIKI!!"someone shouted my name and i look at the voice where it came from .. it was shaira , the love of my life .. she pulled me to save me from danger

"thanks God riki you're safe .. I'm so scared you might got hit by that car " she said and i was still unable to talk .

" riki .. are you okay ? " my reflexes are fast to react when i sensed that she's going to hug me so i quickly avoided it

"do i look okay ?! stay away from me ! " i said angrily but i could see that she was scared at how i said it .. i shouted her a bit .. i feel sorry for her but i can't be soft for her right now

"why? you said you love me .. but why are you pushing me away ? why riki ?" my heart hurts at what she said .. why am i like this?

"because your dad killed my parents !"  her eyes widened in shock as she heard what i just said

"W-what? " she said confused

"your dad was the one who planned on killing us but well, I'm still alive .. no wonder you're a Min also .. i never thought of the possibility .. i was so dumb "

"but riki .. what about us ? you said you love me but it's not what I'm seeing in your eyes now " it breaks my heart seeing her cry but i had to act cold

"yes i love you .. but the hatred in my heart was much stronger .. if i just knew that you're his daughter , i shouldn't have love you !" this time i don't know anymore .. my mouth keep saying harsh words that i didn't mean to say to her .. like I'm possessed .

"but it's my dad who have done wrong to you and your family riki .. it's not me ! why are you passing his sins to me like I'm the one who committed it ?"

"I'm sorry to say this shai but we should end whatever we had now" i coldly stated

" why ? does this means nothing to you ? do you want to forget all the memories that we shared together? am i nothing to you ?"

"it's all gone now shai .. or maybe i was wrong about how i felt before" i turned back because I don't want to see the sorrow in her eyes .. it breaks my heart

"no riki .. please don't do this to me .. i love you" i looked at her again then smirked

" now you'll tell me you love me after all these ? tss how dramatic" i boldly said and i could feel she was hurt and so i am ..

"forget about me shai and I'll forget what your dad had done to me .. you said i won't take revenge right ? here I'm doing you a favor .. I won't do anything to your dad but please .. just please stay away from me " i left her after .. i don't want to see her cry because it'll make me cry also .. my heart can't take it

" riki I can't .. don't leave me , i love you .."i could still hear her sobs as i walk away .. it's crushing my heart to see and hear her cry but i guess to leave her was the best thing to do .

"I'm sorry my love but i guess this was the end of us " i hastened my movement as i cry in pain and anger 

i stopped when i feel some droplets of rain dropping one by one on my skin .

"the weather matches my situation right now" the rain got heavy and thunders can be heard .. the thunder was like my anger and the rain was symbolizing my pain .

i just let myself get soaked in the rain and wailed to release all the emotions that are taking over me ..

---

i was on my knees as i cry my heart out when i heard someone calling my name from afar but i didn't care at all

"NI-KI!!" someone shouted really loud .. it echoed the whole place and i know who it was .. it was jay hyung .

"ni-ki~yahh where are you?" heeseung hyung also shouted but not as loud as jay hyung

"hyung there he is .. oh my god Ni-kiiii !" i could see how jay hyung run towards me even though my eyes was a bit blurry because of the rain and all the tears .. the both of them was as wet as i am .. i could tell that they really got rained just to find me

"hyung .." i said weakly as they both help me to stand up .. my knees felt so weak right now

"ni-ki why are you here letting yourself got soaked by the rain?" hee hyung ask me .. i looked at him at started to cry again " hyung .. shaira .. I- umm .. " i was still unable to talk properly

" it's okay ni-ki .. we should get you home first . we're all wet .. tell us everything later " jay hyung said and i just nodded .. I haven't even had some energy to talk right now .. i feel like all the energy in me got drained from all the tears that i released

jay hyung drove me home with hee hyung .. it was still raining when we arrived . nana was already waiting for me to come home since it was late ..

"oh my .. what happened to you child ?" nana asked as she run to my room to got some towels for me and the hyungs " wait for a moment kids .. I'll get you some towels and spare clothes"

she came back in a rush since we're really shivering because of our wet clothes . she gave the towels and shirts to the hyungs then goes to me to dry my hair .

"you could change your clothes in Ni-ki's room boys .. it's the room on the right " both of them bowed and proceeds to my room

" ni-ki .. what happened ? do you three played in the rain ? and why are your eyes swelling ? did you cried ? " she asked and looked at me worriedly in my eyes .. " umm nana .. I'll tell you soon .. I'll go change now" i weakly said as i walked to my room shoulders down without waiting for her to answer

she just looked at me and said " okay .. rest for now .. I'll prepare you hot choco " i just nodded

i entered my room then get changed and throw myself in my bed without realizing that the hyungs are still at my room .. they just looked at me , worry can see through their eyes

"ni-ki .. are you tired ?" hee hyung asked as he caress my hair .. i was back facing them .. i just hummed in response

"alright .. but can we sleep here with you ? " he asked again .. i was so drained that i couldn't refuse to his request so i just nodded weakly 

"just sleep if you want .. we're just here to watch you sleep okay ?" jay hyung said and i could feel that they really cared for me .. " thank you hyungs .. " i faced them and some tears escaped from the corner of my eyes slowly

" oh no .. no don't cry .. it's enough , you already cried a lot .. stop crying " jay hyung said as hee hyung just patted my back slowly

" ni-ki i know this day was so tough for you but i know you'll overcome it soon .. just rest your heart and body for now .. we'll just talk tommorow" hee hyung said while he put a blanket on me

" okay hyungs .. " my eyes was slowly closing .. i was so tired .. my body , my mind and my heart . i was so drained inside